


In Your Arms

by daddy_driver



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abduction, Angst, BDSM, Consent Issues, Dogs, Dominant Kylo Ren, Dubious Consent, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Heavy BDSM, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Loss of Virginity, Physical Abuse, Possessive Kylo Ren, Protective Kylo Ren, Reader-Insert, Rough Sex, Sexual Tension, Sexual Violence, Slow Burn, Sugar Daddy, Video Cameras, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:47:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 45,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26495857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daddy_driver/pseuds/daddy_driver
Summary: You are a part-time dog sitter, on top of being a full time medical student.One day you answer an ad posting for a house-sitting gig - and it turns out to be anything but normal.Kylo Ren is your new client.
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Reader, Kylo Ren & You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 57
Kudos: 192





	1. Where It Begins

**HOUSE SITTER WANTED**

Professional seeking a responsible adult to care for large dog and vast estate.

** Must be available 24/7.  **

** Must not have any other clients.  **

** Must be ok with staying alone overnight.  **

** Must be experienced.  **

You stare at the bulletin board. It is cluttered with tons of brightly colored flyers that are all advertising shitty campus apartments or seeking people for miscellaneous work.

Today is a day much like any other. You are dressed in your scrubs, books cradled in your arms as you head back to your car after an exhausting day filled with practical labs and tedious training.

It is a wonder why you stopped at the bulletin board at all. Though Boston was a large town, you never had any shortage of clients. People talked about you to their friends, who referred you to their friends, and so on. It seemed you spent more time with people's dogs than with your own classmates, these days.

This flyer though, was articulate. Pristine. Short and simple. It was printed on thick white paper that looked expensive. Running your fingers over the material you can feel the smoothness of it. Card stock, maybe? The letters were raised on the page and you pictured someone sitting behind an old-fashioned typewriter.

You could almost hear the faint clicking and whirring of the machine in use and thought idly of the type of person who would use a typewriter in the year 2020.

Your fingers finally dug into your pocket and retrieved your phone. You entered the number listed on the posting quickly and saved it under "Potential Client".

Without a second glance, you headed back to your car... your brain still settling over the weirdness of the brief listing.

Sure, being tasked with the responsibility of watching someone's house was nothing easy. It was a sort of silent agreement between parties that you would be available if they had any questions or desired updates on their furry loved ones during the duration of your stay. However, this wording seemed different.

Could whoever the person behind the fancy paper ad really expect you to be available at their beck and call twenty four hours a day? What happens when they call at 3AM and you suddenly need to rush over to watch, what is sure to be, some designer dog?

With a sigh, you throw your books into the passenger seat of your car and begin the drive home.

It won't hurt to call and inquire, right? Judging by the ad alone, this could be a really cushy gig. The phrase " _vast estate_ " implied money. The rest made sense, you supposed. How could you be expected to take on any other clients if you were to be available at any notice for this mystery client?

Reaching your modest apartment building, you exit the car, leaving your books in the passenger seat. Normally, you were an excellent student - but it was the end of a long week and you couldn't be asked to stick your nose in your textbook and study the anomalies of various skin diseases tonight.

————————————————————————

**(KYLO POV)**

It had been two days since Kylo Ren had watched the girl take a picture of the information he had listed on his job ad. Judging by appearance alone, she looked like she would be the right type of person for the job he was requiring.

It was unlike him to linger in any place for unnecessary people-watching, but he couldn't help but find himself drawn to watching her.

It is rainy season and the hair pulled back and pinned behind her head looked damp as she stood beneath the awning of the bulletin board. Her scrubs looked worn, as if she had been wearing the same ones for her entire semester so far. His nose scrunched at the idea.

It wasn't that he was pompous, he could appreciate the cost effectiveness of only really needing one set - especially with the understanding that any good and comfortable set of scrubs couldn't be cheap. Kylo wasn't the type to recycle clothes though, even when he was busting his ass at temp jobs. He always looked clean and professional, his hair being the only part of himself that be allowed to look a little unkempt and wild.

_Two days._

Why hadn't she called yet? Why hasn't she at least reached out via text. He sat, his head resting against the back of his chair, in his office. A crease on his forehead as he pondered the cause for delay.

_Whatever_. He thought _. Maybe she wouldn't have been a good fit anyway._

He can't help the feeling he gets as the thought enters his head. No. For whatever reason - she was going to be the perfect fit - and he just _knew_ it.


	2. An Interview

_"Ren."_ His voice was clipped, as if he had answered the phone in a hurry.

"Uh, hi." You say your name, "I was calling in response to the ad you posted on campus? About needing a house sitter?" Your voice sounded foreign. It danced somewhere between your customer-service voice and nervousness.

_"Yes. What about it?"_

"I-" You stuttered. Wasn't the reason for your call obvious? "I would like to interview for the position at your earliest convenience, sir."

Was the 'sir' too much?

_"Ah. Understood. Be at my house tonight at 7. I'll have my assistant send you the address."_

Click.

What the fuck was that? Annoyed - you toss your phone onto the bed behind you. You sit at the small desk in your studio apartment, your laptop sitting open in front of you - offering the only source of light in the crowded space.

Glancing at the clock, you realize it's already mid-afternoon. A handful of hours separate you and the elusiveness of the interview.

You open a new tab in the browser window and glance at the door - like someone would come in and see you doing something you shouldn't be doing.

**Ren.**

Pathetic, really, but it was all you had.

**Kylo Ren: Orphan turned Mogul**   
_It is no secret that Boston's finest homegrown businessman - Kylo Ren - arrived at the top of the food chain seemingly from thin air. However, the biggest mystery that no one can seem to figure out is just where Mr. Ren came from. Much speculation revolves around the origin of Kylo Ren - with no known sources having anything to offer in terms of any family history. Is it possible that journalists and private-eyes alike can't find his family simply because he doesn't have one? One thing is for sure, though, Kylo Ren is a force to be reckoned with. A promising bachelor with his eyes set on the prize, and the backing of powerful higher-ups. We can all agree, this man's journey is something we would like to keep an eye on._

Could it really be _the_ Kylo Ren you're meeting with? You faintly recall seeing him on a talk-show a few months back. Something about his company _First Order Holdings Inc._ meeting little resistance on the path to success.

None of it really made sense to you. Your focus was never major cooperations, or suits of any kind. Your passion has always been medicine, and the two worlds seldom intertwined.

A few more articles and you could deduce that Kylo Ren was in fact - made of money. There had been not one but TWO inside exclusives on his grand estate. It was called _Starkiller Estates_ , and it was far bigger than you had previously envisioned.

Surely he would have more hired help than just you, right? No one person could be responsible for such a colossal property. A few clicks through the images of the main house and you were sold. It was stunning.

Like a model home picked directly out of something seen in Modern Living Magazine - it was concrete faced with plenty of floor to ceiling windows. There was an entry courtyard that was framed with tall trees and the centered was depicted with an ornate fountain in the middle.

The nature of it all took your breath away, you had never seen something so nice. Suddenly, you were all too aware of your current living quarters.

A tiny studio apartment, awkwardly placed above a Mediterranean restaurant. It often smelled of falafel, and the ancient windows were encased in thick white lacquered paint - impossible to open.

You had tried your best to make it feel like home, as much as any person could do, anyway. The walls were an uncharacteristically sunny yellow, and the cabinets that lined the kitchenette were pale blue. The floor, which was always cold beneath your feet, was authentic wood - the color of oak.

The only furniture you had to speak of was your queen sized bed, - framed with a silly old-school headboard and matching footboard that had metal framework - your desk, and a couple of barstools that stood awkwardly tucked into the corner of the kitchen.

All in all, it was nothing compared to the beautiful _Starkiller Estate._ But, you were quite sure anything would pale in comparison.

_Ding._

The noise pulls your from your day dreaming and you stand, locating your phone in the pile of blankets half hazardously strewn about the bed.

Kylo Ren's address glared at you from your inbox, and you had a smile plastered to your lips that was a mile wide.

Nailing this interview was important. It could change everything - assuming it paid as well as you were beginning to hope it did. Even if it didn't - it would offer an amazing opportunity to become acquainted with some of Boston's finest real estate. A welcome escape from the dank home you call your own.

6:15. Shit. You hadn't even noticed the passing of time, nor had you eaten dinner. Your stomach growled in protest and you looked around, trying to visualize the perfect outfit for such an occasion as tonight.

Eventually you settle on something that looked professional - but not snobby. Black tights, a black skirt, a plum colored sweater, and a beanie to cover your ears from the chill of the evening. 

Ok. Maybe this was a little Teacher-esque, but it would have to do.

Precisely at 6:30 you climb into your embarrassingly rundown car, and set the GPS for the address you were given.

You had done a hundred interviews before. You knew the procedure for a standard Meet and Greet, but a nagging feeling in the back of your mind was urging you to accept that this interview would be far from normal.

Your knuckles grew white as the grip on your steering wheel tightened. Your heart pounding unashamedly in your chest. Why in the _hell_ are you so nervous? Does it have anything to do with the pictures you had seen of your Mystery Client during your creepy Google search? _Of course not._ You shake your head, refusing to entertain the thought for even a second.

Weaving in and out of traffic, you soon find yourself pulling into the long driveway of _Starkiller Estates._

_I can do this. It's just an interview. Simple._

Examining yourself one last time in the pull-down mirror, you push open the door and climb out, your teeth assaulting your trapped lip as you make your way to the daunting front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! i hope you're enjoying it so far!I made an accompanying instagram for readerchan. it gives you an opportunity to see the house, the dog, and other stuff that she posts from here on out.
> 
> The @ there is soft_crystals. Anytime I write about Reader posting a picture - it will be found there!
> 
> be safe xx


	3. First Impressions

"Come in."

His voice echoed through the heavy door before you had even had the chance to rap your knuckles against it.

Stealing another deep, steadying breath, you obeyed. Pushing the door open to reveal the inside of the impressive foyer of the main house.

You had an inkling of what to expect, having seen the articles regarding the nature of the home. It was nothing like seeing it with your own eyes, though.

The architecture was interesting and distinctively different than anything you had seen on TV before. There were several pillars lining each side of the entrance, stained a glossy black that matched the marbled flooring.

Everywhere you glanced was something new to take in. A heavy atmosphere of sophistication and - weirdly - _isolation._

The house barely looked lived in at all. Not a personal item in sight. No framed pictures hung on the walls or over the captivating fireplace peeking out from the open view of the back of the house. Not even a dog bed. No colors other than black, grey, and the occasional splash of ivory.

It did nothing to ease your nerves, as you were hoping it would. There was something about being trusted enough to step into someone else's home. Being welcomed in always carried a certain weight and warmth that you couldn't describe - but now you found yourself aching for it's embrace nonetheless.

Seconds passed and you felt the burden of his gaze on you as you took your time taking in the sights of it all.

"Are you suddenly incapable of manners?" His tone was short, like earlier, but it didn't seem to contain any malice - maybe just annoyance.

You stepped in further, the door shutting with a thud as you rang your fingers nervously with your other hand. "I'm so sorry, I was just... taking it in. You have a beautiful home." You extended your hand, praying to anyone who would listen that your palm wouldn't be sweaty when it met his.

It was the first time you had actually laid eyes on the man you knew to be Kylo Ren. And it was nothing short of... exhilarating.

Every inch of him your eyes discovered felt like a modern feat. A prize in each strand of his beautiful jet black hair, that fell in messy curtains and kissed the back of his neck. Entire galaxies swimming beneath the milk chocolate ocean irises of his eyes. The light fixture above making the small amber flakes dance in it's shadow.

All of his facial features were somehow strong, and perfectly sculpted. He was large, far larger than you in nearly every decipherable way. He stood at least a foot taller than you, his shoulders dwarfing your entire frame.

There was something about the way his eyes found yours. It made your toes curl in your shoes. It was as if he was the first person to ever really _see_ you. Which was strange, considering his less than hospitable tone.

After a couple of hanging seconds - it became clear Kylo Ren had no interest in shaking your hand and instead he simply turned on his heel and journeyed deeper into the home.

"I trust you are familiar with the requirements of the position?" He spoke over his shoulder, the honey texture of his voice making your heart pound just loud enough that you were frightened he might be able to hear the organ bursting inside your chest cavity.

"Yes, sir. It is my understanding that I'm to be available at all times. May I ask, do you frequently leave town for business?" You tried to keep your tone professional, and falsely confident.

"Hm. Perhaps you should make it a habit to wait for permission to ask a question." He ended his chastisement with your name, before continuing again. "To answer your stolen question, yes. I am in need of someone available at my beck and call. Morning and night. Is that a problem for you?"

His tone made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and - to much of your surprise - butterflies stir in your belly.

"I am a full-time medical student, sir. However, I should be able to accommodate your request."

"Should be?" He gawked at your apparent audacity.

"I will be, sir. I am fully capable of meeting your demands."

"Better, but we will see about that."

You stole a glance at his face as he rounded the kitchen island, your eyes finding his. It was no easier the second time, watching the fire dance in his eyes as he spoke.

It was difficult to describe the way in which he delivered his responses. It was almost like he knew the punchline of a joke that was floating in the air - just out of your reach. Like he knew something you didn't... or couldn't.

You looked around, not surprised in the least to find the kitchen to be full of modern equipment and spacious countertops. It too looked immaculate, not a spatula out of place. It was hard to imagine anyone cooking at the stove when it looked to be brand new.

A small silver dish sat on a black microfiber cloth by the end of the line of cabinets, the only sign of a dog existing in the same place as this museum of interior design.

"So... you have a dog?" You grinned. It was impossible to deny your love for animals, especially when you had been waiting all day to meet a dog that could live in such a palace.

"Another stolen question," He said, though smiling in return. His posture changed, as if the subject matter was enough to lift an immense weight off his shoulders. "She should be around here somewhere."

He stepped towards the back window of the house, and to your surprise, opened it. It wasn't a window at all. It was a sliding door that spanned the entire length of the kitchen - not unlike the kind you'd see at a high end car dealership.

The soft breeze of the evening flew into the kitchen and you rubbed your arms up and down absentmindedly as you watched the man in his element.

"Daisy... there you are." He leaned down to pet the massive beast that came trotting into the kitchen.

What a beast for a man such as Kylo Ren. You weren't the best with dog breeds but you were 96% sure that whatever stood in front of you was not dog at all - but wolf.

She stood proudly at the height of his hip, her ears alert and her tail wagging as she finally tore her gaze away from her beloved owner to look at you.

"She's beautiful." It wasn't a lie, she was the most magnificent creature you had ever laid eyes on.

_Second to Kylo Ren, obviously._ Your subconscious interjected. It made you shudder.

"Thank you. She's fully domesticated, I assure you - I make no such promises about myself though."

Did Kylo Ren just... make a joke? You let out a rushed giggle in response. Dogs always lightened the mood.

You did your best to allow Daisy to greet you at her own pace. It was hard to ignore the heavy stare coming from her owner, however. She sniffed your hand and eventually - allowed you to pet her, and you rewarded her bravery with a delightful scratch behind her ear.

"I think she likes me." You finally say, returning from your crouched position.

"Let's sit, shall we?" It sounded like an invitation you could refuse - but you didn't dare, following the man into the sitting room.

He pulled a chair out for you and his large hand gestured for you to take a seat - and you did so.

"I have several questions for you. They may seem unorthodox but, let's be honest, this isn't your standard type of dog-sitting gig." He started, finding his own seat.

You simply nodded, sensing he had much more to say.

"You know the parameters of what I require from you, naturally, but I must get a sense for who _you_ are. If you're to be staying in my home, I need to feel comfortable with the type person you are, right?"

You nodded again. "Yes, sir."

He said your name, like he was rolling it off his tongue. Testing the weight of it. Seeing if he liked the way it fell from his lips.

"Do you engage in any... extracurricular activities?"

"I like to paint, I guess. I also love to read - but no, sir. No activities officially linked to the school or anything like that."

"Hm. You're a smart, attractive young woman. Don't you have friends?"

Your cheeks heated. Of course you had friends. What did this have to do with anything anyway? "Yes." You stammered. "I have friends."

"But no boyfriend?"

This was just inappropriate, now.

"No, I don't. Not that I see how that's relevant." You couldn't hide the unpleasantness from your tone.

He clicked his tongue in response, his head shaking mockingly. "There are those manners again," His eyes examined yours, searching for something behind the blushed complexion of your cheeks. "It matters because I don't intend to hire someone who will bring strangers into my home and fuck them on my furniture. I hope you understand."

A pitiful whine bubbles from your lips before you could stop it - and it made you pale. "I- I would never-" You started.

A wave of his hand cut you off mid-blabbering sentence. "Of course not. I hope we... understand each other then?"

A beat.

"Yes, sir. I understand perfectly." No strangers, no boyfriends, no _extracurriculars._

You watched as Daisy rose to her feet, and found her way to the glass paneled doorway - letting herself outside in the quickly darkening night. The shimmering of her fur in the soft light the only proof of her existence as she walked further from the house.

You wished desperately to run after her. Anything to escape the questions - and the man asking them.

Your eyes found a ticking grandfather clock, encased in flat black wood, sitting in the corner of the sitting room. It hadn't even been fifteen minutes since you crossed the threshold of the estate.

One thing was for certain. This was going to be a hell of an interview.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Longer chapters are coming, as soon as I am home from travelling! 
> 
> Be safe! xx


	4. Say Yes.

The questions continued long into the evening. Each one was more invasive and unnecessary than the last, and your cheeks were positively tomato red as the clock struck 9.

Kylo Ren hadn't even introduced himself properly yet and still he knew almost everything there was to know about a person. How thorough. Through the interrogation, Daisy had decided to venture back inside - despite the tension in the air - and settle at your feet, as if to say, 'you're doing great!'

"I suppose that covers everything." Kylo had pulled out a small leather notebook. It was dwarfed in the palm of his hands. It looked comically small but if _you_ had been the one to handle it - it would appear normal sized. The man was built like a fridge with hands to match.

You stood from the plush dining chair, his eyes widening as you did so. Perhaps he wasn't finished yet. Awkwardly, you remained standing... your expression communicating your intent to conclude the affair.

"Hm. Sit down." He spoke, an authoritative threat to his words as he tacked your name onto the request.

"Oh. Sorry, I thought we were done-" Surely you would be done soon, right? Or did he need your blood type too?

"We are done when I say we have finished, is that clear?"

"Yes, sir." Geez. Talk about a control freak. _Some of us have netflix to attend to, dude._

"Now. It appears you are the perfect candidate for the position. You've answered all of my questions and Daisy seems to like you enough... so far. Do you have anything further to ask _me?"_

_Oh shit._ No more stolen questions.

"A few actually." You continued only when he nodded his head, allowing you to continue - _as if you needed his permission to speak._ "I suppose my biggest question is mainly logistics, sir. For example - this is a massive dwelling. Will it only be me here, on my own, during my stays?"

He appeared attentive, considering each of your words carefully. Once again you felt like a mouse in a trap, and he the dangerous cat.

"In the main house - yes. I pay my staff far too much for them to linger, and honestly they are like ghosts. Why do you ask? I thought I had made it clear that you would be alone."

You nodded, maybe too eagerly. "Yes of course, I guess I have just never been alone in such a large house before. And honestly, I don't know the first thing about how to take care of a place this big."

Kylo's features softened slightly as you spoke. Apparently he wasn't expecting your response. "I see. My staff will attend to the conventional maintenance of the estate. Your responsibility is to do what I ask, and take care of Daisy. Where do you live currently?"

Another predatory question. "I live in a studio apartment near the school. It's above this restaurant and is too tiny for even a couch." Why you offered up so many details was beyond you.

"Hm. Well, you will have the east wing to yourself here. You can decorate it as you'd like, though nothing permanent or hard to change. Assuming you say yes."

An entire _wing?_ How often did he expect you to be here? Had he not just very casually asked you to move in?

"Woah. Erm. Thank you, sir. That's very kind of you. I don't even know what to say."

"Say yes." He stated flatly, his fingers locking together as he rested them on the tabletop, allowing his eyes to bore into your own.

No pressure. "I'll have to give my other clients notice, but I would love to accept."

"Good girl." He praised, the light once more catching on the devilish look in his eyes. "I expect you to arrive promptly here tomorrow at the same time. My assistant will have all of the necessary paperwork drawn up for us to go over together, then."

Your heart was going to leap out of your chest. Somehow, be it the will of God or some other supreme being - you had passed the inquisition. Only standing once he did the same, you smoothed your skirt down and became painfully aware of the ache deep in your belly.

Why had this simple interview made you _wet._ And why was Kylo Ren looking at you like he knew exactly what you were thinking. People can't read thoughts, right?

He led you to the door, a hand at the small of your back. It radiated warmth through your entire body - the simple connection. It was electric. A small buzzing current just under the skin.

After over two hours of speaking with you, Kylo finally offered his hand to you.

"Until tomorrow," he savored your name on his lips again. "Don't be late."

Dumbfounded, you shook his hand. Your eyes glancing up at his. You felt your eyebrows pull down - in puzzlement as you looked at him.

"What is it?" His tone was warmer than it had been all evening.

"You're Kylo Ren, right? I never caught your name..." You looked down at your feet sheepishly. _How fucking awkward- of course he is!_

He let out a laugh. A wonderful full sounding chuckle, his head tipping back as he bellowed.

"How rude of me. I assumed you already knew. Yes, I'm Kylo Ren. Welcome to the rest of your life."

He didn't offer anything further as he opened the heavy door for you and gestured you out.

You were still blinking back bewilderment at what had just occurred. Your feet dutifully carrying you to your car through the darkness without the aid of your conscious mind. You mulled over what the _fuck_ had just happened.

_Welcome to the rest of your life?_

————————————————————————

"I don't know, Poe. It was just totally bizarre." You sat in the school's cafeteria, pushing around mac and cheese with your fork.

"It sounds weird." Rey offered, sitting next to you.

"It sounds SWEET!" Finn said - far too loudly, as he shoveled a handful of french fries in his mouth.

The four of you sat together for the state provided meal almost every day. It was tradition. You spent your break from your practical labs, before shoving your nose down to the grindstone once the hour was up.

"I mean... it's literally Kylo Ren. Are you sure you want to work for some pompous millionaire?" Poe questioned, his hand coming up to swipe at the stray dark curl that fell over his forehead.

"Yeah.. isn't he like... a total _monster_?" Rey said with a small shiver. You always liked listening to her speak - her accent proving to be soothing even when she wasn't trying to comfort anyone.

"He seemed nice enough to me," you replied. "I don't really pay attention to that part of the world anyway - so I wouldn't know."

Finn pulled out his phone. "Well what you don't know, the internet will." He said with a pleased grin.

The rest of lunch passed with the four of you, huddled awkwardly together as you read the words on Finn's smartphone.

He wasn't wrong. The internet really did know a staggering amount about your new boss. Kylo Ren had studied business at the University of Boston. He graduated with honors, at the top of his class, and hit the pavement running. Within two years Kylo Ren had amassed an empire - though whenever he talks about it publicly he says he owes it all to his mentor - Snoke.

Rey didn't fail to mention the fact he had never been photographed with a woman, nor did he seem to allow anyone to take a picture of him that wasn't a photo-op. No paparazzi shots, no pictures of him in casual clothing, not even a graduation photo to speak of.

He was truly an enigma. The more you found out about him, the less you felt you knew. You were hopeful that with time, you would come to find out more about the man in the mansion. The human in the fancy suit. The— you get the picture.

————————————————————————

**(KYLO POV)**

"Hux." Kylo spoke harshly over the intercom, his brow furrowed.

"Coming." Replied the ginger haired subordinate.

Armitage Hux wasn't _technically_ a subordinate. He had trained under Snoke too - and _he_ liked to consider himself partners with Ren. Though his responsibilities at work were basically the _giant's_ puppet.

"Just set them down on the desk there." Kylo instructed, not even glancing from the screen in front of him as he spoke.

Hux did as Kylo asked, the manila envelope of papers sitting on the edge of the desk. Hux wasn't one to ask questions - but he was curious. He had drawn up an NDA, a contract, as well as several other forms for different niceties. Whoever it was, they were about to have the keys to a new car, a new cell phone, and a _First Order_ credit card. It did come at a cost though, the mystery party was basically signing their life away and swearing to never even speak of it.

"Is there something else, _Armitage?_ " Kylo asked, injecting just enough venom in his voice to convey that he wanted the other man to leave.

"Did we take on a new apprentice or something?"

"That question is above your pay grade, isn't it?"

"Technically, no. What is all this stuff? I'm on the board, I deserve to know where these resources are going."

"Would you like to be relieved of your seat on the board?"

"Don't threaten me, Ren. We both know Snoke likes me for this position just as much as he likes you."

"Ah. But who's name is on the door? Leave. Don't make me ask you again."

Hux's anger caused flame to rise to his pale cheeks, and he turned on his foot and _stomped_ out of the office, nearly slamming the door in his wake.

The whole thing made Kylo pause, his hands reaching for the envelope. Truth be told, he wasn't willing to let anyone know about the girl just yet. He wanted to keep her a secret - only for _him._

He sat back in his chair, his fingers finding the button on the desk that frosted the windows to his spacious office.

He grew hard in his dress slacks. At fucking work. Over his _employee._ Precum dampened the material of his pants as his cock strained beneath the confines.

With a growl, Kylo palmed himself. He shut his eyes, and allowed his strong hand to stroke himself over his pants. _Yes Sir_. God. She was so fucking innocent.

He had found out that she didn't date, she hadn't yet even had a boyfriend. He was so impressed with the way she answered him candidly, and didn't question the motive behind his impolite inquiries - except the one time.

With the last evening playing in his mind, Kylo Ren began the task of getting himself off - in his office - over the girl that had taken over his life after a single meeting.

Little did he know that wouldn't be the last time he would cum so violently to the idea of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note:
> 
> Hi everyone! I don't know if you saw, but i made RC a finsta to accompany the story. The @ is @soft_crystals!
> 
> Don't be afraid to interact! I promise the story is going to... heat up! Just setting some things up for the plot.
> 
> Be safe! xx


	5. Terms

"I have to sign what?" You asked, trying to control the panic in your voice. No client had ever needed you to sign _legally binding_ paperwork before - surely this was unorthodox.

Kylo Ren sat across from you, yet again, in the oversized dining room of what you'd come to know as _the main house._

"This contract, as well as an NDA. I'm sure you haven't had a client as high profile as myself before. I need to ensure that any information you gain about me professionally - or otherwise - stays between employer and employee."

It was the 'or otherwise' that made your thighs press together - hidden beneath the table.

You picked up the heavy pen, peeking at the calligraphy on the side. There, in flourished white ink, was Kylo Ren's name. He had his own pens.

Finally electing to put said pen to paper, you - quite literally - signed your name on the dotted line of the Non-Disclosure Agreement.

"Thank you." His fingertips brushed against yours as he pulled the paper towards himself. "Now that _formalities_ are out of the way. The contract, I'd like to go over it with you."

The urge to sigh and settle into the chair was overwhelming. The moment didn't feel any different than the first day of school. When overly confident and self important professors made the entire lecture hall read a syllabus that was nearly the same in every class.

However, this contract appeared anything other than ordinary. Laid out in bold, black ink was the Terms of Employment - your heart would surely batter ram out of your chest any second.

** Terms of Employment **

**1\. APPOINTMENT, COMMENCEMENT, DUTIES, AND PLACE OF WORK**  
 **1.1** ****The employee's continuous employment will begin on the date signature is obtained and will continue, uninterrupted, until a date decided by the Employer.  
 **1.2** The employee will be engaged in the role of "Caregiver" in Starkiller Estates, Main House. The employee may be required to undertake other responsibilities deemed appropriate and necessary by the Employer.  
 **1.3** The usual place of work will be, as stated above, in the Main House. The Employer may require the employee to travel to, or perform job related duties, at other locations that are within a reasonable distance from the employee's home. The employee may also be required to travel abroad, by which the Employer would assume financial responsibility for all travel requirements.   
**1.4** This offer of employment is contingent upon receipt of satisfactory employee health records that deem them fit for the duties of the role they have been assigned.   
**1.5** All employment is subject to a probationary period of 3 months. During this period the employee's performance and attendance at work will be monitored closely by the Employer. Under relevant circumstances the probationary period can be extended as the Employer deems necessary. If the employee's standard of performance is found lacking by the Employer, the Employer presumes responsibility for the failure and will ensure it is corrected and monitored for continued success.  
 **2\. HOURS OF WORK**  
 **2.1** The employees normal working hours will be Nine A.M through Eight P.M each day. The employee will only leave the premises to attend classes relevant to her chosen major at the University of Boston. Further, the Employer may require the employee to work around the clock. The Employer will give the employee reasonable notice of any changes.  
 **2.2** The employee will not undertake **any** outside business interest or activity without the prior consent of the Employer.   
**2.3** The employee will be amply compensated for any last minute schedule changes, as well as hours spent on the premises.

**...**

Your eyes grew wider and wider with every sentence. This wasn't a simple house-sitting gig. Not at all. These terms basically eluded to the fact that you were to be at Kylo Ren's beck and call for... whatever he deemed "necessary". It also was not shy about the fact you weren't _allowed_ to do anything outside of school or your work here without his _consent._

You felt the heaviness of his gaze on you. He studied you from across the table. You slowly dragged your eyes to his, your hand fidgeting with the fancy pen as you spoke.

"This seems a little... intense." You were honest, and hoped the statement wouldn't offend him.

"So am I." He said matter-of-factly. "I have someone coming by in a little while to take your blood and other vitals - standard stuff - as outlined in your terms."

"Oh-" Your mouth popped open. "I... ok." The way his eyes darkened as he spoke made you quickly realize he wasn't asking your permission. He was simply saying what was to occur. _Sure go ahead, poke and prod me, I don't care!_ You thought bitterly, biting back the urge to roll your eyes.

"Now. I have some things to give you. Don't think of them as gifts - because they aren't. They are strictly so you can do the job you've been tasked with, to the best of your ability." It wasn't meant to be rude, he was just creating a very clear boundary. Employee and Employer. How formal.

He dumped the contents of the envelope in front of you. Out fell a heavy car fob, a box that clearly contained a smart phone, and another box containing a smart watch.

You looked at each item in succession. Not failing to notice the recognizable _Audi_ logo stamped on the car key. Or the bitten fruit logo that marked the other two.

Wow. It was all you could even think, at this point.

Kylo took your pause as encouragement to continue. He passed the items over to you with a small shove of his hand.

"I know you already have a car - but this one is more modern. It will provide you the safest way to transport Daisy and yourself. Your car will be kept on the premises - unless you'd like to sell it."

"A... A car." You stuttered - your peanut butter brain still working through the last ten minutes of your existence.

He smirked. "Yes." He spoke your name. "A car. The phone and watch are second nature - I'm sure you don't need help in setting them up."

"I can't.. afford any of this. My parents pay for my current phone, even. I don't even have my own plan-"

He located a packet of paper in the stack between you and held it out for you to examine. It was a hard copy receipt of the contract you now held with Verizon Wireless.

"It's taken care of." Kylo said simply. As if he didn't just buy you a car, a phone, and a smart watch which - by your calculations - was one _hell_ of an entry bonus.

————————————————————————

The nurse was one that you recognized. A senior classmate to yourself. She had her black hair pulled back in a ponytail. The fringe of her bangs cut perfectly to frame her round face.

"I'm Rose. I'm sure you already know, but I'm just here to give you a standard physical exam, as well as take your vitals and a little bit of blood."

You returned her genuinely kind smile with a nod and a smile of your own. "Ok."

Kylo Ren had stalked off somewhere - finding something else to do as you and Rose sat in your - _your -_ bedroom.

Rose followed standard procedure. She first listened to your thumping heart, refraining from making a joke about nerves. She peeked in your ears and - awkwardly - in your nose and throat.

"So far so good," she said. "Lie back," she pushed to her feet and came to the side of the bed, her gloved hands connecting to your abdomen as she felt around for any abnormalities.

The whole thing was entirely professional, considering it was happening in a strange bedroom of some dude's house.

"It's standard procedure during a physical to collect samples from patients over the age of 18 - even if they aren't yet sexually active. Is it ok if I go ahead and do that today?"

You felt a burst of warmth across your face and nodded. "Will it hurt?"

"Not at all." She reassured you. "I'll leave you to remove the lower half of your clothes. You can drape a blanket or towel over yourself - whatever is most comfortable." And with that, she left. Her short ponytail bouncing as she shut the door behind her.

She was right, it didn't hurt at all... though it was uncomfortable. But overall, the process was quick and over before you even had time to feel too shy.

Rose left once more under the guise of "getting her sharps kit." to allow you to dress in the privacy of the bare bones room.

When she returned, your stomach rolled and you sat just as she instructed, your arm ready and waiting for the intrusion to come.

"A medical student that's afraid of needles, huh?" She couldn't help but grin at you.

"They are fine when I am on the other end!" You said defensively, though with a smile on your face.

Before she could speak, you held your hand up. "Quick pinch, I know, I know... Just do it." You closed your eyes and tried to relax your arm as much as possible.

The woman was _skilled._ She had taken two vitals of blood and bandaged you before you knew it.

"I'll be in touch. Would you like a copy of your results along with your Employer?"

_Along with my employer? Kylo Ren really was intense, wasn't he?_

"Erm... no, that's ok. Just let me know if there's anything I should worry about. Thanks, Rose."

Not even a full minute after she had left, Kylo knocked softly at the door to the bedroom - your bedroom.

"Come in," you said awkwardly.

His large body stepped in, taking up much of the doorframe as he stood there, visibly unsure of himself - a new look for him.

"You've finished?" He asked, still standing on the threshold.

"Yep. All done. Did you need anything else from me or can I go?" You hadn't eaten all day due to the nerves of this evening - and were starving.

His eye twitched, almost imperceptibly. "You want to go?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I'm just quite hungry and... I hate needles." you replied, silently kicking yourself for being so rude.

"You'll eat here, with me. Then you can go."

That was that, then. You'd be eating a late dinner with _Kylo Ren_ at his _house_ like it was _normal._ Maybe it was normal, now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note:
> 
> BRUH why is Kylo so intense - and why do I LOVE it. I hope you guys liked the vagueness of the contract. 😳
> 
> Thank you so much for your comments and votes, I am just as excited to keep going as you guys are for what's to come!
> 
> I'm going to try to update every day as my schedule will allow.
> 
> As always, be safe, wear a mask! xx


	6. First Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING: disordered eating, alluding to a poor relationship with food.
> 
> Though there is no graphic depictions of disordered eating in this chapter, I wanted to be respectful of the people who may struggle with reading such content. I am in no way glorifying disordered eating - I myself have struggled with it for many years.
> 
> If you or anyone you know is struggling with disordered eating, please don't hesitate to text HOME to 741741 for free 24/7 support.

_Well, how did it go? Everyone is dying for details!_

You stare down at your phone. Shit. You could literally be sued if you talked about how it went. Even if it's just Rey?

_It was fine. :) See you at lunch?_

Without waiting for a response, you tucked your phone into your pocket and returned to staring at your closet. Kylo Ren had texted - your new _work_ phone - that he expected you to return to the estate, after your classes, for an overnight "test run."

While he wouldn't be there, he assured you that he would be available and close by in case you had any questions. He also informed you that he had drawn up simple instructions, as well as left ways to contact each type of his staff.

Housekeeping, groundskeeping, the personal trainer (someone you never hoped to meet), as well as his head of staff - should you need any help during your stay.

The whole thing was... overwhelming, to say the least. However, you did appreciate the fact that he was conscious of your nerves. The test run should put both of you at ease with each other.

On top of that, your lunch companions would most assuredly be bombarding you in a matter of minutes regarding your late night rendezvous with Kylo. Unfortunately, you weren't sure how much you could _legally_ disclose about the whole thing.

————————————————————————

**(KYLO POV)**

Kylo Ren stood in his office, his eyes glued to the computer monitor in front of him.

Several men were walking around on the screen, and it looked like a strange home movie. The men were all dressed in a similar fashion, and the room they were in seemed almost _too_ grand for them to exist inside of.

_Ding._

Kylo tore his gaze away and looked at the source of the noise - his phone. Vicrul's name filled the notification bar and he unlocked the device to see what the only member of his staff that knew about the cameras had to say.

_Cameras are nearly all in place. How does the live feed look?_

Kylo smirked as he typed his response. He felt like he was doing something morally wrong. But he wasn't, right? It was his house and he could install as many cameras as he wanted inside. It was simply a security measure.

_Functional. Send me a pic of one mounted, I'd like to see how it looks._

Another ding, and Kylo was looking at a picture of his entry way wall. He pinched his fingers together on the screen to blow up the picture and squinted. If there was a camera hidden among the framed art and wall-mounted light fixtures - he sure couldn't see it.

Excellent. _That means she can't see it either._ He rolled his shoulders. No. This was for security. That's it.

Kylo Ren wasn't interested in whether or not the act of him placing cameras all over every square inch of his estate was ethical or not - he was too busy imagining himself watching his unknowing prey whenever he felt like it. That was the truth.

————————————————————————

You stood in front of your pitiful wardrobe, re-running the words you had received over text from Kylo Ren.

_Wear something professional. I'd like my staff to know you exist as an extension of myself, in my absence._

'Something professional' could mean a lot of different things - depending on who you ask.

_Yes, Sir._

You typed a hasty reply and pressed send, before returning to your plight. Your hands came to rest at a slim fitting black dress. The collar was straight across your collarbones when it was on - and the skirt hung just above your knees.

You vaguely remember purchasing it as "an interview outfit". Carefully, you travelled with it to the bed, and draped it over the surface. _Hmm. It's boring._ You thought about texting Rey and asking for some advice on how to spruce it up, but quickly dismissed the idea because - again - you weren't sure how you would explain the need for a dress at a dog-sitting job.

Retrieving your black tights from the laundry basket (nobody needs to know,) you pulled them up your legs and hiked them up far enough for the waistband to rest comfortably above your navel.   
  
  


**(CW: skip if needed.)**   
  
  
  
  
  


Not that your figure was bad, because all bodies are beautiful, the dress you had chosen was a little snug... and you had hoped the tights would disperse some of the awkwardness happening with your midriff.

With the tights and dress on, you took a look in the cloudy over the door mirror that hung in your closet of a bathroom. Barely wide enough to see your body sufficiently, you found yourself turning in the mirror. Examining the outfit from every conceivable angle.

_It's not like he's even going to be there._ You thought. Would it make a difference if he was? _No. Yes? Maybe?_

You elected to wear a delicate necklace that dangled pleasantly at the center of your chest. Your breasts appeared round and full, but not offensively so, the neckline maintaining a large portion of your modesty.

The time to leave was fast approaching and you had found that, yet again, you had skipped dinner. It wasn't _purely_ intentional. Between classes and the craziness of this new job - who would have time to eat, anyway?

You set an alarm quickly on your phone, labeling it _Order FOOD._ Hoping that future you would be in an agreeable mood after the nerves of showing up to Starkiller Estates _alone_ subsided.

For as long as you could remember, you had a particularly odd relationship with food. It wasn't about too much or too little, but rather _when_ you would eat versus when you wouldn't. You always were good with coming up with excuses, scapegoats for why you weren't up to the challenging task of chewing and swallowing food.

At first, people laughed it off and tried to get you to eat anyway, but eventually everyone stopped paying attention. You vaguely remember your mother always obsessing over the numbers and we're proud of yourself that you hadn't become _that person._

Again, you heard Rey's voice in your head. That familiar accent, whipping your subconscious into shape with constructive, positive thinking. _All bodies are beautiful._

You repeated the mantra once... twice... three times before it felt real enough coming out of your mouth. With a triumphant grin, you looked in the mirror again. You looked _good._ Everything hugging the right places, accentuating your assets in a way that wasn't overbearing.  
  
  


**(CW Skip Ended.)**   
  
  
  
  
  


Finally, the time had come. You snagged your self-titled _lucky_ blazer from your closet. It was a gray/blue color, and it reminded you of foggy skies and deep oceans. You pulled it around yourself before placing your feet in the same black shoes you had worn the other day - the nicest pair you owned - and headed out.

It took a couple of floundering minutes for you to remember that your beloved car had basically been left for dead, at Kylo Ren's request, and a sleek Audi now sat parked outside the restaurant/apartment. It looked terribly out of place, and it was practically begging for the right person to stumble across it and try to break in.

You had your backpack slung over your shoulder, the weight of your books causing your back to sag with the effort of carrying them and once you reached the car you clicked a button on the foreign fob dangling from your keychain and unceremoniously dropped the bag into the backseat before climbing into the driver's seat.

Once again you found yourself nervously sweating, on the way to Kylo Ren's home. This time, you hoped, would be a lot less intense. You expected to maybe meet a staff member or two, but felt more comfortable knowing that the giant himself wouldn't be there.

Really, how was he so tall? And not just _tall_ but... built? If the two of you stood side to side it would look hilarious. You equated it to standing next to a large tree. The picture made you giggle, but it also made your stomach swell with restless butterflies.

How professional was it to be thinking about climbing your _tree_ of a boss while on the way to his house?

You were vaguely aware of the sound of the car that carried you so graciously down the interstate - or rather - the _lack_ of sound. You were used to an angry protest every time your feet found the accelerator on your old vehicle. The Audi was also equipped with a state of the art bluetooth stereo system and you vowed you would figure it out the next time you made the drive. It wasn't a long drive, but winding through traffic and heading to a totally new place was a daunting task. For now, you would have to simply _think_ to keep yourself entertained and relaxed. _Maybe of trees._ You grinned.

The endless stream of daydreams kept you busy until you arrived at the mile long driveway up to the estate. The entire road was lined with foliage that seemed to reach the stars. Small light posts on either side guided you up the dark path. _Lights to guide you home._ You thought, even though Starkiller Estates were anything but your home.

Darkness hadn't completely fallen over the city of Boston yet, but it was growing darker by each passing minute and the temperature was dropping just as quickly. You would be happy to be inside soon, your mind remembering the large fireplace just beyond the great entrance hall.

Familiar with the way, you shrugged your shoulders back, stepping confidently towards the front door after parking the sleek, silver Audi R8 in the middle of the circular drive.

Similar to last time, you heard a voice before your knuckles could find the door. Before you knew it, the inside of the main house slowly revealed itself to you as the door unveiled it.

"Welcome," the man said your name. "Come in, it's quite cold out tonight."

You stepped inside, your hands rubbing the backs of your arms as you did so. You said a silent 'thank you' to your past self for making the call to shield your legs from the elements.

The man extended his hand to you. "I'm Vicrul." He introduced himself. "For all intents and purposes, I'm the head of the staff here. Think of me as Master Ren's - and now your - right hand man."

You shook his hand with gentle vigor, examining his face and committing it to memory. Kylo had told you the staff were like ghosts - and you didn't doubt it. You weren't sure when you would be seeing the man standing in front of you again.

"Nice to meet you, Vicrul. I wasn't expecting anyone to be here - _Master Ren_ had told me I would be alone, so I am pleasantly surprised to make your acquaintance." You shot him a genuine smile. It was true, the idea of being alone in such a frightfully big house still gave you the creeps.

"Ah, I see." He started, motioning for you to follow him as he spoke. "I will not make a habit of it. I've been instructed to give you your own set of keys, as well as this-" He slid a small binder over to you on the granite countertop and you took it graciously. "In it you will find detailed instructions for everything here that is open to you."

_That is open to you._ Does that imply there are parts of the estate that are off-limits? It piqued your interest immediately.

Not wanting to be rude, you tucked the binder under your arm and returned your attention to the man you now know as Vicrul, sensing he had more to say.

"I've also taken the liberty of listing my information as well as including a map of the premises - should you choose to explore. Master Ren would like me to inform you that though he isn't here - _he will be watching."_

Cool - a butler that speaks in riddles.

Before you could even begin to think of a response, Vicrul had turned and taken his leave - though to where he retreated, you had no idea.

The binder under your arm was practically screaming for you to open it, and you weren't about to say no. The entire estate, as well as the man who owned it, was shrouded in such a thick veil of mystery. Stealing a glance over your shoulder, you made sure no one was in fact _watching_ , before beginning your quest for a soft spot to curl up and dive into the mystifying Kylo Ren.

The moment you found the spacious den, Daisy came wandering up behind you - nudging you in the leg. Abruptly, you were reminded of the entire reason for you to be there in the first place.

_Couldn't Vicrul feed Daisy? Why did Kylo need someone like me around?_

"Well... looks like it's just me and you, girl." You spoke in a high-pitched tone and it made her head tilt. Clearly she was used to being talked to like an adult, and not a baby. How distinguished.

You plopped - yes plopped - onto the couch, kicking your shoes off in the process. The sofa was somehow built into the room, creating a large L shaped space around the square room, a small step separating the seating area and the rest of the room. The couch looked untouched - like everything else - and you pondered whether or not Daisy was permitted on the furniture. You would hate for Kylo to return and see evidence of her somewhere she wasn't supposed to be - under your watch.

Truth be told, there was a considerable amount of question marks still surrounding what exactly your job title included. Daisy was happy to lay at your feet while you figured it out, though, and you stroked her head a few times before returning to your curled up position in the corner of the sofa.

The first page was covered in easy to digest instructions regarding Daisy and her feeding schedule. She ate a similar diet to _actual_ wolves in the wild, and even had her own refrigerator where ingredients were kept to make her food fresh daily. _Of course, nothing but the best._ You thought. Daisy was a lucky girl.

Turning a page, you stared at the paper wide-eyed.

**Horse Care**

Kylo Ren had a fucking _horse?_ In the middle of the city?

You were starting to wonder how large this estate really was, while reading over the instructions. Thankfully, the instructions mentioned that the horse was entirely taken care of - but under special circumstances (such as a staff member falling ill,) you would need to be a stand-in.

The binder had instructions for pretty much every appliance in the kitchen - fool-proof instructions. Someone had taken the time to write step-by-step instructions on how to use the toaster. You rolled your eyes, and spoke aloud - to no one in particular. "Jesus Christ. Who wouldn't know how to use a toaster? And who the hell sat down and typed these out?"

Daisy stirred at the sound of your voice and peered over at you in pity. She really was stunning. You placed the binder aside and leaned down to pet her again. Her coat was in excellent shape. She was soft to the touch, and you recall the various foods she consumed daily. "If I was eating premium meats and expensive vegetables everyday, I bet my hair would shine just like yours," you cooed, giggling at the way she nudged your hand for further pats once you stopped.

Overall, the work you had to do was simple enough. It certainly did not require a _binder_ worth of instructions - but you supposed it was better to have too much information than not enough. Truthfully, you were happy you wouldn't have to text Kylo Ren _personally_ and ask him to explain how to connect to his smart house tech.

You grew comfortable with the binder and it's contents, flipping through a few times before you had a basic understanding of the instructions - but you knew you would be glued to the thing for at least a few visits.

_Ding_

You jump. The house had been so quiet and the sound of your phone was jarring.

_HELLO? Finn and Poe are DYING for details!_

You chuckled, typing a response to Rey promptly.

_Oh? Just Finn and Poe, huh? You aren't dying to know for yourself?_

_... Ok, ok. We all want to know. Spill!_

_I don't know. It's... big. He has horses, or maybe just one. Idk yet._

Rey must have grown impatient with your carefully devised response. You were sure that him owning a horse in the middle of Boston was public information - surely it was something people knew. Alas, her name filled your screen and you knew you would be pressed further the moment she heard your voice pick up her call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really meant it when I said this was a slow burn... but don't worry, your patience will soon be rewarded!
> 
> thank you guys so much for your comments and votes - it really means a lot to me that you guys read what i write.
> 
> as always, be safe. xx


	7. Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: light smut (i told you it was coming!)

(KYLO POV)

Kylo sat, stretched out with his laptop perched on his thighs on the plush hotel bed. The down comforter was pleasantly plump beneath him and his back was propped up against a wall of pillows that he had adjusted to the perfect position.

Tonight, his focus was not work. It wasn't emails, or coordinating meetings or anything else that would be seen as healthy or productive.

No, tonight, his focus was on the ignorant woman who was currently sitting on his couch at his home. He could feel his body reacting to her every move, and when she shifted and took a visible breath, so did he.

Truthfully, Kylo had absolutely no idea why he suddenly had such a twisted fascination for his new employee. He really didn't even have a need for someone in her position. Yet he had drawn up an ad and put all these resources into creating a job in his home for a woman to fill - against Snoke's pleading advice.

Women are distractions. Kylo recalled the gruff voice of the senator in his head. Do not form an attachment. Do not get soft. Not when we are so close.

Snoke had been saying that for awhile. Always so cryptic yet so deafeningly clear about being 'close' to some grand achievement. However, as soon as Kylo would get an award or manage to seal a large deal, Snoke wouldn't even acknowledge the success and would just continue to push the ruthless agenda.

If there was some grand scheme at play - some carefully calculated bigger picture - Kylo was sure of one thing. Only Snoke would know about it. It was something he would keep close, using his puppets to carry everything out precisely so. Kylo grimaced at the thought that he was just some pawn in a much larger than life game.

A sweet voice echoed in the otherwise empty suite and Kylo's attention returned to the screen. He watched as Daisy licked the girls hand and whined. It was nearly time for her dinner - and Kylo was very interested in watching his new employee do the task of the feeding.

She had taken her shoes off earlier in the evening and Kylo found himself staring at her legs. He liked that she appeared healthy, a full figure, every part of her looking divine and soft. He wanted to run his hands over the fabric of her tights and watch how her face would flush as he did so.

He actually found himself smiling as he continued to watch his new favorite show. She had managed to connect her phone to the overheard speaker and soft music was playing through the kitchen as she gently swayed, the binder in hand.

His cock stirred, watching her hips move and her face scrunch up as she concentrated. There was something so entirely demure about the way she carried herself that just pulled him in further. It made him want to ruin her. To break her down to the most filthy—

AHEM. Kylo's brain yelled at him. He really was trying his best, but he was just a man starved, after all.

He moved to the desk, carrying the laptop as if it weighed nothing in his hand as he settled into the chair. It was certainly more uncomfortable than the bed, but it allowed him to... move... should he need it.

Ignoring the nagging heat in the pit of his stomach, he watched as she prepared the meal. He knew it wasn't too difficult, but there was just something to seeing her in this state. Kylo believed you could tell a lot about someone by the way they act when nobody was around - and the woman was proving to him that she was exactly who he thought she was.

Good. Maybe too good. Too good for you. He frowned. His attention then turned to the clear outline in his trousers. His length was causing the fabric to tent and he was beginning to feel a dull pain as he refused to set it free. He wouldn't give in to himself so quickly.

After nearly three hours, Kylo had realized he was now watching the girl prepare to go to sleep. At some point, his carnal arousal had settled into a small flame, ever present in the background.

————————————————————————

There is something indescribable about the feeling of going to sleep in someone else's house. You had climbed into bed nearly an hour ago. It had taken at least twenty minutes for you to settle to the point of turning the light off, and finally lying flat - instead of sitting against the headboard as you had been.

In your nervous fog of preparing for the evening, you had forgotten practically everything one needed to truly get ready for bed. No toothbrush (ew,) no pajamas, you had even forgotten to grab your laptop off of Kylo's kitchen counter after finishing what little homework you had - and frankly - it felt weird to parade around his ghost infested home naked and in search of it.

Since Vicrul had suddenly disappeared, you hadn't seen a member of the staff all evening. However, there was a feeling that remained stagnant in the air that you weren't truly alone. So much so that, upon realizing you'd be sleeping in only your underwear, you brought a blanket into the bathroom to wrap around yourself as you tiptoed to bed, your clothes and tights neatly stacked on the counter.

You had also made the discovery that Daisy wasn't allowed on the furniture - or at the very least, she had zero interest in it. Your apartment had a strict no-pet policy (not that you had time for one anyway,) and you severely missed the feeling of having something else in bed with you. Something to draw warmth and comfort from. Instead, Daisy laid on the ground by your side of the bed, facing the door.

"Goodnight, Daisy... thanks for protecting me," you said softly to the darkness, knowing she probably didn't understand you anyway.

With the lights off and your barely clothed body within the silky sheets - all you could think about was the warmth you were missing. Your bare thighs pressed together and you let out of a soft sigh at the sensation of skin to skin contact. Even if it was your own, it was still better than nothing.

Kylo Ren. You didn't want to think it - but you couldn't stop yourself. It was time to face the music. Ever since you'd taken a look at him in his urbane, outrageously expensive suit, you had only thought of raw, primal, sheet-clawing fucking. Nobody needed to know that, though.

In the shelter of the blanket, you tentatively ran your hand down the curves of your body. Your fingers trailing over your flesh like a lover would. You palmed one of your breasts and allowed your mouth to fall open as your belly stirred again.

A wave of fresh desire came over you as you tweaked your sensitive nipple, rolling the nub between your fingers with practiced ease. Your thighs fell open under the sheets and you couldn't resist the temptation any longer.

Dipping your fingers into the waistband of your panties, you felt just how needy you really were. You couldn't stifle the groan that bubbled up your throat as you allowed your fingertips to collect the dampness between your folds.

Fuck. Did you say that out loud? It was too late to care. You continued your mission, the coated digits finding your clit. Your entire body shuddered and you realized this might be the most erotic thing you had ever done.

It had never occurred to you that you could touch yourself this way in someone else's house. Sure, the urge had been there a few times before while you stayed at strange house after house - but you had always been too cowardly to follow through.

The way you touched yourself was the way you wanted him to touch you. You imagined it was his hand kneading your breast, his fingers rubbing slow circles around your sweet spot. You heard the faint sound of your own voice in your ears. It was chanting the same thing over and over in wanton lust. Kylo... Kylo... Kylo.

Suspended in time, you climbed to your peak. Your back arched off the bed and you could feel the dusting of sweat trickling down your spine. Your mouth hung agape and was switching frantically between holding your breath, and panting. It had never felt this good before.

You were putting on a one woman show and doing a hell of a job. When you were right at the tipping point of no return - you left your breast bereft as you plunged a finger from your other hand into your virgin cunt.

It swallowed you with little protest, your walls clamping around the flesh of your finger like a wet fist. You could feel your innocence, your finger brushing against the textured spot inside of you that made your toes curl, and the firm remnants of your virginity. One finger wasn't enough - it wasn't nearly enough - but it was all you could fit, lest you planned to bleed all over sheets that weren't even yours.

A few skilled motions and you were coming undone. Your clit was buzzing under your touch and it almost felt painful as you finger-fucked yourself to orgasm. You didn't hold anything back as you whimpered and moaned like a bitch in heat.

Your heart rate eventually slowed, bringing you down to planet Earth again from your trip to the stars. And you did see stars. The edges of your vision returned and you realized your finger was still lodged inside of yourself. It was coated in warmth and you felt the liquid of your release dripping down your pussy as you recovered.

Taste it. It was his voice in your fantasy, not yours - and you weren't going to say no to him. You had never tasted yourself before and your cheeks burned with a sudden shyness. It wasn't enough to deter you though and you made your move.

Your plump lips sealed around your middle finger and your nostrils flared. The taste was unlike anything you imagined and you wrapped your tongue around your skin greedily. Savoring it. It tasted like warm fruit and you felt the vibration of your moan as you cleaned your finger of it entirely.

Your hairline was sticky with sweat, and there was a growing wet spot on the sheets beneath you - but you didn't even care. That was the best orgasm you had ever had.

Little did you know, Kylo Ren had watched the entire thing.

———————————————————————-

The next morning, you woke to a peculiar smell. Peering down to the floor next to the bed, you realize Daisy is no longer keeping watch. Hm. You thought. Probably just doing dog stuff. Whatever that meant.

You scurried to the bathroom, tending to your human stuff, and redressed in the same dress you had worn over. However, today, you wouldn’t be wearing the tights. Two days in a row was more than enough.

Eventually, you felt a small buzz coming from your new watch - and you realized it was the reminder for you to eat. It had been vying for your attention for nearly 12 hours.

The smell coming from somewhere in the house grew stronger as you ventured to the kitchen, where you discovered instantly what you had smelled.

Kylo Ren was standing in the kitchen, preparing breakfast.

What the fuck? You gulped, suddenly remembering the sins you committed last night under his roof. “H-hi,” you squeaked. You wanted to distract yourself from the domestic sight so you busied yourself with preparing Daisy’s breakfast on the other side of the counter. Avoiding his gaze at all costs.

“Good morning.” He said your name affectionately. “How was your first night?”

You looked up, despite your best efforts to do anything but, and saw a smirk dancing on his lips. His eyes glittered with playful honey tones and you suspected he was teasing you about something - only - you didn’t know what.

“It went very well, sir. Thank you. How was your evening... did you stay at a hotel in town?”You pulled a cutting board from the cupboard and a knife from the block. It felt heavy in your hand as you diced the sweet potatoes one by one.

Kylo clicked his tongue, shaking his head as he turned the bacon in the pan he was attending. “Such a little thief.”

You paled and your hand stilled, was he actually angry with you? You were curious by nature - and he was clearly intent on making you pay for it. However, a quick glance at him and you could see he was poking fun at you - again.

“Sorry, sir.” You mumbled, adding everything to the bowl and carrying it to the small mat for Daisy to eat. Where even is she?

“Daisy is probably wandering the garden.” He offered. It was eerie how he did that.

You nodded and went to the glass door. It was a brisk morning, and you didn’t want to stand, exposed as you were, for too long in the doorway.

You felt a presence behind you and you stiffened. Kylo Ren was standing dangerously close to you.

Before you even blink, his fingers were brushing your unkempt hair over your shoulder. You felt his breath on your neck and you stood - frozen in place.

His voice was velvet soft when he spoke. “Why don’t you call out for her?” He suggested. You could have sworn his lips brushed your ear. Your hair was standing on end and your hands clenched into tight fists. Was he teasing you, again?

“Daisy-“ you called out. You hated how your voice cracked. “Breakfast!” You added, your body jumping from its permafrost when you felt his hand run through your hair again.

To your delight, Daisy appeared at once and walked right past the two of you to her bowl. Thanks for the help, you thought bitterly. She was only a dog - but she could have done something.

Kylo’s breath left your skin, and you gasped at the sudden loss.

“Good girl.”

At that moment, you didn’t think he was talking about Daisy. And your hand shook as you pulled the door closed again. Kylo returned to the stove and dished the breakfast on to two different plates, leaving you to stare at him, dumbfounded.

“Do you cook?” He asked simply.

“Hm? Oh, me? Barely, sir.” You were in a daze, watching the greek god do something as simple as use a spatula to lift the bacon to the plates on the counter.

He smirked again. This Kylo was more personable than the one you had interviewed and dined with the other evening. “I’m sure that will change.”

You didn’t ask what he meant.

He set the plates down on the table off the island. It was lined on one side with bay window seating, and two chairs on the other side. The window was slightly frosted over, but the seat looked inviting anyways - adorned with neutral toned pillows.

“You’re quiet this morning.” He stated, before holding his hand out. “Please, sit.”

You obeyed and slid onto the bench seat. The cushion was pleasantly soft and you smiled, bouncing a few times as subtly as you could.

“Comfortable?” He asked, taking his own seat across from you.

Someone’s chatty. You mused. Kylo was positively chipper and you felt it rubbing off on you too.

“Everything in this house is so comfy,”You impaled some of the eggs on your fork. “Daisy doesn’t know what she is missing.” You giggled, feeling the dog’s fur brush your bare legs as she traveled under the table.

Kylo stared at you for a moment, his eyebrow quirked. “I don’t make it a habit of letting my pets on furniture.”

The plural form of the word didn’t escape you. “Pets? Do you have a cat or something too?” You looked around as you spoke, as if you would find a cat curled up somewhere.

He shook with a sudden bark of laughter. “Something like that.”

Deciding not to risk his anger with more ‘stolen questions’ you elected to take a bite of your food. Your stomach growled embarrassingly loud in thanks.

Something passed across his features. Confusion, maybe. “When did you last eat?”

His tone offered no mercy. “I had lunch on campus yesterday, sir.”

His fist slammed on the table, and the ceramic plates shook. “That is unacceptable.”

His entire demeanor changed in one instant from bubbly to livid and you flinched. He stood, pushing away the table, and raked a restless hand through his hair.

“Why would you skip dinner? Have I not made it clear this house is open to you, as well as the food within?” Well, no, actually - you haven’t.

Your voice was barely above a whisper. “I forgot sir, I’m sorry.”

He softened for a moment, but only a moment. “You will eat. Three meals a day at least. I’ll have it amended in your contract.

Why was he so concerned about it, anyway? You were in medical school for fuck sake - eating is obviously something you recognize as essential.

In a show of acceptance, you bit off a piece of bacon and chewed it silently, your eyes staring at the plate in front of you.

“Good girl.” He rolled his shoulders, and you could see the tension release as he returned to sitting. “You cannot perform your duties here to the standard they require if you are hungry. From now on you will send me pictures of your meals. Understood?”

Shit. Smart. “Yes sir, I understand.” You ate another bite - and then another. Your stomach was quickly settling and you were thankful for it.

Kylo nodded in response, taking a bite of his own. “Ive got a lot of work to do.”

You weren’t sure he was speaking to you, but rather, himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: 
> 
> IS IT HOT IN HERE OR IS IT JUST ME? Ok, i’m sorry for yelling. I am excited.
> 
> PHEW. It makes me SO happy you guys are liking the story so far. Thanks for your kind encouragement and votes!
> 
> As always, be safe! xx


	8. Infractions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: slight degradation, spanking, abuse of power.

"Are you coming to Finn's party tonight?"

Poe caught you on the way out of your phlebotomy class, bumping shoulders with you as his steps fell into unison with your own.

"I don't know, Poe. Midterms are over, sure, but finals are just around the corner - I should probably be studying."

An audible groan was heard from Poe and he shook his head. "You're hopeless. Take one day off from being the Dean's favorite."

You smiled nervously. He was probably right. One night off wouldn't be that damaging. You glanced at him, a triumphant smile on his lips. How could you say no to those big brown puppy dog eyes, anyway?

"Fine. What time does it start?"

He practically squealed and shot a fist into the air. "Be there at 7?"

"I'll try my best." You vowed. Kylo hadn't made contact with you since the previous day, where he had sent you home early to study for your last midterm. How he even knew you had midterms was beyond you - you definitely hadn't said anything about it. Not to him anyway.

You weren't sure if you were supposed to return to his estate after your classes or not - it seemed weird for you to be there if he was there too. You quickly set a reminder to reach out to Vicrul - opting for a less intimidating party - and headed into the lunchroom.

Rey and Finn were waiting at your usual table and you walked towards them until you remembered what Kylo had said yesterday. 

I gotta send him a picture of my lunch. You shivered. Cafeteria food was already tough to stomach - and you didn't know what Kylo Ren would think about receiving a high definition picture of the muck they passed off for food.

Poe looked at you, surprised, as you joined him in the line for food. He passed you a tray and didn't say anything. 

The safest option was probably the mac and cheese. You had eaten it before - many times, and it was soggy, but not horrible. However, today, knowing your boss would be seeing what you chose to ingest, you decided on a chef's salad and a bottle of Nantucket Nectars Juice.

When you sat down with your food, Rey didn't waste a single second before bombarding you and Poe with questions about the test. She hadn't taken it yet and was clearly worried.

"It's pretty simple, Rey, the only pressure is that you're setting up lines in volunteers. Most of them are easy sticks, though." Poe said, taking a break mid-sentence to take a bite of his sandwich.

"Yes but what if they move or pass out or-" Rey started, spiraling. She stopped herself, staring at you in horror as you snapped a picture of your meal with your new phone and reluctantly sent the picture off to your boss. "Tell me you did not just Instagram cafeteria food." She asked, unwilling to contain the judgement from her voice. 

"Oh. No, it's not for Instagram." You responded coyly. 

You had hoped the briskness of your answer would deter them from asking further questions - but it had the opposite effect. Finn, who had been too busy eating to speak up until the point - dropped his fork and looked at you.

"That was vague." He called you out.

Shit. "It's for... a friend." You were at a loss.

"Does this friend happen to live in a mansion and go by the name Kylo Ren."

Honestly, how the fuck did he do that? Could everyone read minds now or what?

You sighed. "I don't want to talk about work, ok?" You shoulders sagged as you spoke, and Rey and Finn exchanged glances. Poe looked unbothered- though you weren't sure you had ever seen him in an alternative state.

"So... the party tonight. What are you going to wear?" 

Thank god for Rey. You gave her a grateful smile and dove into talking about the prospects of your wardrobe.

-

-

The rest of the day flew by and right around 7, you and Rey walked into Finn's house - a bottle of tequila in hand. Finn's house was modest, especially in comparison to Starkiller Estates - but there was no more than twenty of you stuffed inside the small space. 

The music was loud and the lights were low. It seemed like everyone had pre-gamed hard. You weren't sure there was a sober soul in sight aside from yourself and Rey. Though, a quick glance to your right and you saw Rey already taking a shot - clearly following in the steps of your classmates.

You settled in to a worn couch cushion, a drink in your hand as you enjoyed watching the bodies move in the room. It was a kind of unspoken dance - the steps of which were followed thoughtlessly. Each person having kinetic push and pull between them. You closed your eyes and allowed yourself to truly relax - for the first time since the beginning of the semester.

You sipped idly on your drink, and made conversation with several familiar faces as you leaned into the evening. It was unlike you to truly party but there were exceptions to every rule and you were hoping to get drunk enough to let off at least a little steam.

From somewhere in the house, you heard a small struggle. Gasps and raised voices shattered your calm and - it was in that moment that you realized you had fucked up.

You never texted Vicrul. 

In the transition from classes, to heading home, you carpooled with Rey and the both of you jumped head first into getting dressed and going to the liquor store. It had left no room for you to think about your new responsibilities as Kylo Ren's 'caregiver'.

You heard Poe's panicked voice as he called your name, drawing your attention. "I'm sorry - I didn't know-"

Kylo Ren stood towering in the suddenly claustrophobic living room. The lights that lined the walls allowed you to pick up on the absolute fury in his features. The skin under his eye was twitching, his shoulders shook with the effort of containing his apparent rage and his voice was tight when he spoke.

"Get up."

There was no reason to argue and not only did you stand, but you began apologizing profusely. 

"I'm so sorry, Sir... I completely forgot - I'm so sorry, oh god I'm so-" You were trying to whisper, hiding your painfully embarrassing interaction but you knew it was no use when he shook his head.

"Car. Now."

The icy chill of fear permeated your body and you marched out of the house. Your eyes were glued to the floor and you barely registered Rey trying to get your attention. You were sure your classmates were shocked to see one of their own carted off by Boston’s playboy/millionaire.

Kylo Ren had just crashed a party to retrieve you. And he was in no way happy about it.

When the two of you reached his car, he paused and opened the passenger door for you. You didn't have the time or gall to protest as he nearly lifted you into the luxurious seat. He leaned over your body and you could feel the heat coming off of him in waves. As if you were a child, he drew the seat-belt over your lap and secured it into the latch before slamming the door and stalking to the driver's seat.

Once in the privacy of the vehicle, you found your voice again. "Sir-" As soon as the word left your lips he shushed you - violently so.

"I don't want to hear a fucking word from you until I allow it. You've done enough."

Well. There is no arguing with that. You felt like a child scorned and a petulant pout formed on your lips. Surely he was overreacting. How did he even find you, anyway? And why had that thought not occurred to you until now? 

-

-

The time it took for Kylo to arrive back at the estate was the longest half hour of your life. The very fabric of time started to pull apart and plunge you into the bottomless pit of endless waiting. Each second ticking slower than the last. 

Neither of you had spoken since pulling out of Finn's drive and you weren't about to disobey him again. The grip he had on the steering wheel had turned his knuckles white and you were sure the vice-like hold was starting to make his appendages ache.

As he killed the engine of the car you had identified as a Tesla Roadster during the drive, you made a move to remove your seat-belt. 

"Don't. Move." He barked at you, causing you to freeze in place like something out of a cartoon.

In his seething rage, he was still attending to you like a gentleman. He opened the door for you yet again, only this time he allowed you to undo your own restraints and clamber out of the seat. His hand finding the back of your arm.

He was holding on to you tightly - too tightly. Hauling you through the front door of the house. Your tongue was trapped between your teeth and your jaw began to protest being clamped so tightly. 

You didn't make it too far in the house before Kylo was tossing you onto a chair that sat off the main entrance. 

"Do you or do you not understand the terms of the contract you signed." He spoke slowly, the reign on his volatility hanging on by a thread. Unsatisfied by the delay of your response, he spoke again. "Speak."

Immediately, you came to your own defenses. "Yes sir, I understand the contract."

He didn't seem to buy it, as he shook his head. "No. No I don't think that you do." His voice grew steadier as his resolve hardened. "However, I am willing to give you a lesson. Isn't that gracious of me?" He hissed your name.

Your heart was racing and you were petrified. Too scared to even breathe without him saying to do so. "Yes sir." It was a ghost of your voice. Shrouded in a thick layer of terror.

"Let's begin."

-

-

Kylo Ren had pulled - no yanked - you by your wrist to the ornate living room you had been seated in just the other night. You were beginning to regret your choice of attire. A skirt that kissed the middle of your thighs, and a baggy tank top that you had tucked into the top. You had a flannel sweatshirt tied around your waist - having grown too hot for it at Finn's.

"Stay." He disappeared and reappeared in seconds, carrying your handy dandy binder in his hand. "Silly girl. You have a cheat sheet and you still don't understand."

You gulped - knowing him well enough at this point to realize he didn't expect you to respond. You stood awkwardly in the center of the room, and focused solely on keeping your heart from beating it’s way out of your chest.

He thumbed through the contents of the binder until a he found what he was looking for. A copy of the terms of your employment. He cleared his throat, preparing to read from the document aloud. 

"Section 1, Clause 5." He stopped, skimming the text for what he was searching for. "Ah yes. If the employee's standard of performance is found lacking by the Employer - that's me, in case you are confused - the Employer presumes responsibility for the failure and will ensure it is corrected and monitored for continued success." He shut the binder with a small slap. "Does that ring any bells for you?" His tone was mocking.

"Yes sir."

"Would you say that your performance is satisfactory?" He tested.

"No, sir."

"Ah." He smiled now. "So you agree. This is a failure."

Just fire me already. "Yes, sir."

"It is interesting to me that when left to your own devices, you disregard your duty to me. However, when you are standing in front of me you are full of 'yes sirs' and 'no sirs.' Why is that?"

Your hands balled into fists. You could feel the burn of frustrated tears at your eyes. This was worse than being fired. He was treating you like a child. "I don't know, sir."

"I know, pet." He cooed, tilting your chin up with his hand gently. The action forced you to look at him. "You know what has to happen now, right?"

You swiped at your cheek with the back of your hand as you felt a hot tear slide down your skin. "Are you going to fire me, sir?"

He chuckled. A hearty, condescending sound. "Oh, no. That would be far too easy. You see, I respect the contract. I understand my responsibility to you as your Employer, and I intend to follow through. It is my duty to correct you, isn't it?"

Correct you? What was he gonna do, put some strike on your imaginary record or something?

"Yes, sir."

"What do you say to me for holding up my end of our agreement even when you couldn't hold up yours?"

"Thank you, sir."

"You're welcome, pet." There's that word again. He took a seat, and he placed the binder - open faced - next to him. His gaze settled on your legs and slowly traveled upwards - like he was unwrapping you with his eyes. You sniffled miserably.

What happened next caused a number of things to happen. First, you audibly whined. Second, your body felt a rush of heat, and third - you blushed a furious shade of pink.

He had patted his knee. "I want you over my knee, little girl." He stated simply. Like it was no big deal. As if he didn't ask you - his employee - to climb into his lap.

"S-sir" you stammered, your brain not thinking of a proper response quick enough.

"The quicker we get this over with, the quicker we can both go about our evenings, right? Now, pet. I won't tell you again." His tone had no indication of humor.

You clambered over his lap like a dazed youth and, with a helpful tug from Kylo, were soon splayed over his knee. Your torso rested largely over one knee, and the lower half of your body was thrown over the other. Your body remained stiff despite the war raging beneath the surface.

Every nerve ending was on fire. Every sense heightened tenfold as you became overwhelmingly aware of his body touching yours. You heard him let out a soft noise of approval, and you soon heard his voice. It was gentle, and warm. Like the other morning. Like he was afraid to scare you.

"I would like for you to take inventory of your infractions. I've set the terms there for you to re-read - since you clearly need a reminder. Present me with a number when you are ready and we will begin. I will warn you, though, there is only one correct answer."

A fresh wave of tears sprang to your eyes and your hands gripped the edges of the binder, tugging it closer to you as you balanced over Kylo Ren's knee.

You scanned the document.

Section 2.1 The employee's normal working hours will be 9 A.M. to 8 P.M. each day.

Yep. Definitely broke that one. You thought.

Kylo's fingers found your hair and twirled the length as you read, causing goosebumps to raise all over your flesh.

Section 2.1 Continued. The employee will only leave the premises to attend classes.

Check.

"Tik tok." Kylo murmured. 

Section 2.2 The employee will not undertake any outside business interest or activity without the prior consent of the Employer.

Shit. Three. Three broken rules.

"Three, sir. I broke three rules."

"Three." He repeated, offering you no implication as to whether you were right or wrong in your deduction.

"My hours, and after classes I didn't come back here, like I am supposed to. I also didn't get your consent to attend a party. So yes, sir. Three."

You craned your neck to look at him and he was tapping his chin lightly with his forefinger - seemingly in thought.

"Three." He finally agreed, after some time. "However, I also had to retrieve you from the party like an escaped convict. I also had to take the time to explain to you the wrongfulness of your actions. I think we best make it five, don't you?"

You made a mental note to ask him just how he had found you for a later date. Maybe when you weren’t draped over his lap like a weighted blanket. "Five, sir. Five... what?"

Just as soon as the question fell from your mouth, his hand dragged up the backs of your bare thighs, and hiked your skirt up over your ass, and your breath caught in your throat. Surely there was a law about this somewhere, right? There was a nagging thought in the back of your mind, however, that reminded you that you like this. This is who gave you such a mind-blowing orgasm. Granted, he wasn't aware he had such power over you - but still.

"I am going to spank you five times. You are going to count. If you fail to count, or make any attempt to stop my hand - we start over. Am I understood?" His hand took the liberty of unceremoniously yanking your panties down your legs as he spoke. His strong leg pinning yours with the back of his knee in one fluid motion. You were positively rooted in place. Captured and defenseless to the oncoming attack.

"Yes sir." It was barely a whisper.

Kylo rubbed his palm over the curvature of your ass, warming the skin up under his touch. You gasped at how the sensation made you feel. You were wet. You prayed he wouldn't notice and opted to lie your head down on the couch, your hands hiding your face.

"Remember to count." He warned gruffly, before bringing his palm down for the first time with a harsh slap.

The noise echoed through your very bones and you yelped at the unwelcome sting of his hand. Sniffling, you knew it wouldn't be long until you were sobbing in his lap. "One, sir." you whimpered. You felt like a wounded animal - impotent to fight off the violence to come.

Harder. Hit me harder. Your subconscious screamed. Kylo obeyed the silent plea and brought his hand down - on the opposite cheek - harder. You writhed in his hold in pitiful protest but made no real attempt to flee. "Two, sir."

"Good girl." He cooed. "Your skin is so responsive. It is already displaying my hand prints like trophies." He chuckled again before issuing another slap. Always opposing sides, and always harder than the last. It wasn't too hard though, and you knew he was holding back a considerable amount of force.

"Three, sir." You choked on your sob and he shushed you, palming your burning flesh lightly. Caressing the sting away before delivering yet another harsh blow.

That one rid you of what was left of your pride, and you openly wailed. Your chest heaving with sobs as you tried your best to remain still for him - lest he decide to punish you further. "F-four, sir."

"Such a good girl for me," he whispered, his hand never failing to rub your welted skin between strikes. You felt his hand disappear for a moment, and then he sucked in a breath. You paled, your arms hiding your face as you pressed into the couch - wanting to disappear. "What do we have here..." He taunted, dragging his finger up your slit. "You like this? Silly girl. You're getting off to this, aren't you?" He was openly mocking you. "If you like it so much, beg for the last one."

You cried harder, your shoulders shaking with your ugly blubbering. "P-please, sir."

"Do better." He pinched the tender skin of your ass between his fingers ruthlessly. 

"Please... please give me one more sir, I- I need it." You whined, the noise muffled by the couch.

"What was that, pet? I can't hear you."

"PLEASE." You bawled. "Please sir. Hit me again. I need it. I like it. Please.. please...PLEASE." The words tumbled from your mouth easily and unashamed. It was way too late for modesty.

"There's my good girl." He brought his hand down - harder than before - and the impact of it made you sing like a canary. That had been the hardest one yet, and the force alone almost made you cum unraveled. Was that even possible? To get off on pain alone?

You were floating somewhere between awake and unconscious, drifting off into a land of fuzziness. You felt like you would float away if he unpinned your legs. "F-five, sir." 

You had done it. You had endured whatever twisted punishment this was. You had taken five open-handed spankings from Kylo Ren. You hadn't just taken it - you had begged for it.

Kylo was quick to replace your clothing where it once was, and using his strong arms, he pulled you up against his chest. You fisted his shirt and clung to him, unapologetic about the tears and snot you were surely wiping all over it.

"Shhh..." He ran his hand up and down the length of your spine. "You were so good. I am so proud of you." His voice was so tender it only made you cry harder. How could someone be capable of such harshness and tenderness at the same time. You were overwhelmed and sunk into the embrace.

A blanket wrapped around your frame and you stopped wallowing in your misery and embarrassment for a moment. Kylo had cradled you against his chest and wrapped you in a fuzzy blanket that he had apparently conjured from thin air. The gesture made you pull back from him and look into his eyes for the first time since the whole thing started.

His thumb brushed a stray tear from your cheek. "Hi." Kylo whispered. 

"Is it over?" You squeaked, letting yourself stare into the amber oasis of his irises.

"It's over. You did it." He praised.

"Ok." You said simply, your brain still hadn't returned from wherever it escaped to.

At that, Kylo grinned, and he gently guided your face closer to his, placing a kiss at the center of your forehead. He urged you to rest against him again, tucking the crown of your head under his chin as his arms held you in place tightly. 

Somehow, you felt like things would never be the same again. This simple evening had taken over whatever course you had been set on, and uprooted it. Here, in Kylo's arms, you felt something you had never felt before. It felt safe. It felt like... home.

"Sleep." He said, the roughness of his voice completely gone and replaced by adoring lightness.

You didn't need any more encouragement than that, and soon, you were drifting off to sleep in Kylo's arms, not a single care in the world as you fell into an incredibly deep slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note:
> 
> So... how is everyone? Still breathing? 
> 
> Thanks for all your comments/reads/kudos! Things are just starting to heat up, and i appreciate that you guys have hung in there as i set the stage for what should be a wild ride!
> 
> as always, be safe! xx


	9. Whiplash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: depictions of violence that results in injury, ANGST THAT REALLY HURTS, face slapping.
> 
> also- if you like music to set the mood. when you get to /that/ part, play See Me Fall - Y2K Remix. Thank me later.

You weren't sure how long you had slept, but you awoke in your bedroom. Well, the bedroom that had been given to you by Kylo for when you stayed overnight. It was hard to think of it as yours.

You sat up, taking inventory of how you felt. Aside the warmth spreading from your behind, you didn't notice any other discomfort - you were hungry, and could use a drink of water - but otherwise unscathed, physically.

Mentally however, you were tortured. Questions raced across your conscious mind while shame assaulted your subconscious mind. You slid out of the sheets you had once soiled in your panting lust, and padded your way over to the en-suite bathroom.

A quick glance in the mirror was all you needed. You looked about as horrible as you felt. Dark tracks of now dried mascara marred your cheeks, and your hair was sticking out in almost direction.

You were also, weirdly, dressed in a shirt that was far too big for you, and the panties that Kylo had yanked down your thighs the night before. The memory made you turn in the mirror and tug the shirt up - exposing your skin.

Your fingers traced the remnants of welts covering the flesh of your bottom, and you winced as you curiously poked it. Yep. Still hurts.

You glanced at the shower and felt your grief latching onto the idea of warm beads of water washing away whatever the hell had happened last night. If only there was a shower for your mind, too.

Though you desperately needed to bathe - the only thing you did was splash some water onto your face, scrubbing the nice smelling soap across your cheeks to cleanse the makeup away.

A shower could wait until you figured out if you were alone or not. Kylo Ren had a habit of popping up wherever he pleased, whenever he pleased, and weren't keen on him walking in on your showering - still covered in the evidence of his correction.

As you finished washing your face, you just about jumped out of your skin as you opened your eyes to see Kylo standing in the doorway of the bathroom. His body took up much of the space, his head nearly reaching the top of the doorframe.

As you made eye contact in the mirror, a smile formed on his face. The butterflies in your stomach came alive again and you took a steadying breath.

"Morning." Kylo spoke first, leaning his upper body against the door frame.

"Hi." You responded shyly.

"Will you walk with me?"

The warmth had returned to his voice and it wrapped you in an embrace of safety. You nodded your head and he extended a hand to you.

"Come."

-

-

The stables were magnificent. Made up of a rich looking wood, clearly crafted by hand. You ran your hand up the side, and found it to be smooth beneath your finger tips. It wouldn't be so inviting if it was found in a normal place - but the fact that this existed inside the city limits was astounding to you, for some reason.

Kylo lingered outside the opened doors. his hands clasping behind his back as he stood. He looked awkward and out of place. Like he hadn't been there in quite some time.

"You're not coming inside, sir?" You called back, an excitable energy buzzing through you as you went deeper into the barn.

He didn't respond right away, but he soon followed you. Leaving your question hanging between you - unanswered.

You couldn't help but think that he was raging a war entirely his own inside. His features were solemn and you were starting to regret asking him to see the stables up close.

You were simply walking through the garden in silence together, when you came upon the cobblestone path that led up to the corral. The morning air was cold, and your nose was red with the chill. You were thankful that Kylo had lended you more layers than the shirt you woke up in to protect yourself from the frost.

Everything was far too big - you tied the sweatpants as tight as they would go and rolled the legs up until they dangled it's a gnarled bunch at your ankles. He had looked quite pleased at the sight of you in his clothes - though you felt ridiculous.

As you approached the only stall that's door was closed and latched, you were giggling with excitement. You had never seen a horse before that wasn't on a screen - having been born and raised in city life.

"He was a gift from my mother." Kylo spoke quietly, his eyes appearing sad as he stared into the stall at the elegant stallion.

You weren't familiar with horse breeds, but you still knew that Kylo's horse was huge. It looked almost as tall as the man who owned it.

"Can we go in?" You asked softly, your hand finding the horse's pale nose as you pet him, your movements gentle but unsure.

"Of course." Kylo pulled at the door of the stall, and it swung open widely. He held it open and didn't follow you inside as you stepped closer to the massive beauty in front of you.

He was massive. The top of your head barely came to the horse's shoulder and his coat was snow white. Upon further inspection you saw fur at the ends of his legs, dusting the top of his hooves on each foot.

He seemed more comfortable with you than you were with him and he made a chipper sound as he moved his large head up and down.

You held your hand out again, and the horse was happy to shove the end of his elongated muzzle into the palm of your hand.

You glanced at Kylo, a bright smile beaming on your face as you made acquaintances with the impressive mount.

"His name is Ben." Kylo offered, happy to watch you.

"He's incredible." You stated, and boldly, your hand reached out to pet his neck - causing Ben to make a noise of approval. "Your mother has good taste."

Kylo shifted uncomfortably and you knew you were pushing him by taking your time in the stall. You took your leave, stealing one more glance at Ben before you allowed Kylo to shut and latch the door.

He didn't say anything as he turned to leave, and you could feel the tension coming off of him in waves. Ok. Not a good topic. You made a note in your head. You didn't like to talk about your family either, so you weren't put off by his aversion.

Kylo didn't speak until the main house had come back into view, and Daisy had run to meet you both as you wandered up to the back door.

He ran a hand through her fur and you did the same as she greeted you both. You had really grown quite friendly with her, and she seemed to be taking to you too. Much like her owner.

"I'd like to extend your probationary period as well as re-negotiate the terms of our agreement." Kylo announced suddenly. "Let's sit."

It wasn't an offer you felt you could refuse and you sat on the same window bench you had just a few days ago. You longed to be back there. Eating breakfast, casually. Before your boss had played with your wet cunt and mocked you for your petulance.

You waited for him to start again, once he was seated.

"You're aware your current probationary period is 90 days, correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"I would like to make it 180 days and I would also like for you to be here full-time during the 6 month period." He said it simply.

You paled. Was that really necessary? You bit your tongue and nodded silently.

"Please, tell me what you're thinking. You're allowed." His eyes were searching yours. burning holes into your pupils as his relentless eye contact remained unwavering.

You sighed, heavily. "I'm confused." It wasn't an easy thing to admit - especially to someone who teased you often enough that you expected him to taunt you with your own ignorance.

"About what?"

"Why I'm here." It was the truth.

"You're a caregiver in my home - what's confusing about that?" He remained looking at you - his eyes never even blinking.

"I don't know what you want from me. Clearly you don't need someone to watch your dog. So why am I here?" The words tumbled freely now and you regretted the implication of them as soon as you said them.

This caused him to pause, his hand stroking over his clean shaven chin. "You're here because I want you here."

"But what is my purpose, sir?" It was a plea just as much as it was a question - you needed answers. The confusion inside had grown to unbearable levels.

“Your purpose, pet, is simple. You do what I say, when I say it. It is clearly stated in your contract.”

Clearly stated, huh. You were beginning to regret not taking ample time to thoroughly go over it before you signed your name at the bottom.

“So... I... live... here now?” You struggled to find the words.

“You will stay here until you can be trusted to come and go as you please. As of now, you are only to leave for classes. If that proves difficult for you to manage, I will happily assign you a personal driver who will ensure you stick to the terms.”

“Kylo, I-“

He cut you off with a stern look that scared your voice away.

“Sir-“ His look eased away from his features and you continued. “I can’t stay here.”

“You can and you will. It isn’t up for debate.”

“But last night-“ You felt tears at your eyes at the mere mention of it.

“Last night was because of your own actions. Besides, you liked it. Don’t try to hide.” He said your name. “Not from me.”

Your throat burned with unshed tears, and you tore free of his gaze, looking at your feet under the table.

“Look at me.” This time, his voice was much softer, a gentle olive branch.

You obeyed. Of course you obeyed. You were beginning to think it wasn’t in you to disobey.

“Don’t fight it. You know you can’t.”

How did he know you better than you knew yourself? Of course you were fighting it. Last night had been simultaneously one of the worst nights - and best nights - of your life. Your heart hurt from the abandonment you felt when you woke up alone. You were confused. You felt taken advantage of and yet guilty for breaking the rules. You felt embarrassed because he made a scene in front of your only friends. The list could stretch on for miles.

It was all you could do to press your forehead against the tabletop in surrender.

“Trust me. Ok? I will take care of you.”

You believed him. "Yes sir."

-

-

(KYLO POV)

Kylo stood in the elevator, riding directly up to the top floor. He stood in the compartment alone and tried fiercely to control his breathing.

All he knew was that Senator Snoke had asked for him to come by. Snoke had said in his message that they needed to talk. Kylo wasn’t frightened of Snoke, but he definitely respected the man’s power enough to be nervous.

Stepping out of the elevator was like stepping into a different reality. In this existence, the entire floor of the building was vacant. The walls were the color of blood and the floor was a mirrored black tile. Kylo could just see the outline of his roman nose as he peered down at his feet.

The only furniture to speak of was a large desk with a few chairs around it placed in the center of the room. The entire scene sent another sliver of trepidation creeping up Kylo’s spine.

Snoke sat in a regal looking wingback chair behind the imposing desk. He sat with his hands clasped in front of him, his mouth set in a grim line.

Senator Snoke was far older than Kylo. His skin was riddled with the evidence of time, sagging in spots it once did not. His features were sunken and his fingers resembled mangled tree roots. The knuckles were thick and painful looking. His fingernails were longer than they should be and a sour yellow color.

Most noticeably, Snoke had a vicious scar marbling his forehead. Kylo had never asked how the wound had came to be - but he was sure it was a story Snoke wasn’t willing to share.

Kylo’s steps only slowed when he reached the opposing chair, lowering himself onto it’s perch before bowing his head in a show of respect. “You wanted to see me, Sir?”

Snoke eased back into his ridiculous chair and observed the man in front of him for a moment before speaking. His voice as decrepit and rough as his appearance. “Yes. I have heard troubling word of your behavior - and quite possibly - your allegiance.”

The Senator’s words were careful and aloof, as they always were, and Kylo frowned as they registered in his brain.

“You have no reason to doubt me, Senator.”

At that, the old man pulled a folder from his desk that was adorned with a simple First Order Holdings Inc. logo and tossed it into view. “On the contrary, boy, I believe my suspicions are just.”

Kylo Ren took the folder in his hands at once and opened it. In it, he found a full paper trail of the resources he had extended to his new caregiver. The same woman that he had previously had no intention of ever mentioning to the man seated in front of him at all.

“Senator, please allow me to explain.”

Snoke snarled. “I am more than capable of figuring out what all of that is myself, Ren. Which I have already done.”

At that, Kylo stiffened.

“What else are you hiding from me, apprentice?”

Snoke’s tone was bitter and he practically spat the words he spoke, his anger bubbling through his thin veil of indifference.

“Nothing.”

“Who is she?”

“No one. She is nothing.” Kylo’s voice was monotonous.

“She better be nothing. I don’t need some girl ruining everything we have worked for.”

Kylo’s eye twitched and his gaze fell to the desk between them. “I won’t let you down.”

Snoke eased up, but only slightly. Seemingly content with his apprentice’s placation. “I see so much potential in you. Tell me, am I mistaken?”

Kylo’s hands balled up in dangerous fists in his lap. He was thankful they were concealed by the shelter of the desk. “I have given everything I have to you. To this cause.”

“We shall see.” Snoke said calmly. “Leave.”

Kylo left like a hurricane of torment, the trailing scent of his cologne the only proof he had been there at all.

-

-

The bell rang with a shrill wail and it pulled you back down to where you sat in the lecture hall. The afternoon class had dragged you behind it like gum stuck to it’s shoe and you were thankful to be done for the day.

Somehow, you had managed to fight off Rey, Finn, and even Poe’s interrogation. Each one of them drilling you with question after question. It wasn’t their fault, truly. They deserved an explanation for why a 6’2” man had tore into Finn’s house only to pull you out basically kicking and screaming.

The problem was, you literally couldn’t answer a single question. Oh yeah, he just spanked me and put me to bed. This morning we went for a walk and I met his horse. Oh, I also live there now. You trembled at the cognizance of the recent change to your living quarters.

Rey was the first to find you after the lecture hall had hemorrhaged most of the students.

“What the hell happened to you last night? I only called you about forty bloody times!” Her voice was a whisper, but a harsh one.

“I forgot I was supposed to go to Kylo’s after class. He just came to pick me up because he knew I forgot.” It was a lame explanation.

“He’s ‘Kylo’ now?” Finn asked, appearing from thin air.

“I guess.” You answered weakly.

Something in Rey’s expression thawed from subzero annoyance. “Hey...” She started, your name sounding gentle on her lips. “Whats wrong?”

Oh, how I wish I could tell you. “Nothing, really. Just having a hard time adjusting to the full-time job full-time student lifestyle,” You offered her a small smile. “Really.”

“Does that mean you’ll come over tonight? Poe is making his famous empanadas.” Finn grinned. His face always betrayed just how fond of Poe he had grown over the years.

“Sorry, I can’t... I have to-“

“Work.” Rey and Finn said in unison, finishing your sentence.

All you could offer them was a nod and you felt a pang of guilt in your chest as you gathered your stuff to leave. “Bring me an empanada tomorrow?” You said hopefully.

“Of course.” Rey smiled, “Text me.” With that, you were left alone to your thoughts yet again - and began the journey to student parking.

-

-

You stumbled in the door of the main house. Your scrubs were wrinkled from sitting most of the day and your jacket was pulled tightly around your shivering body.

Your backpack slung over one shoulder, and an overnight bag hung heavily from your wrist - you looked overworked.

You weren’t expecting Kylo to be home for some time and carelessly kicked off your sneakers, and tossed your bags down with a huff.

Daisy - elated with your arrival - barked and rubbed herself against your leg, her tail moving so fast it had its own wind speed. You giggled. It was nice being greeted so warmly after such a long day.

Until you realized Kylo was not only home - but furious.

He stormed over to you with more energy than a freight train barreling down the tracks and his strong hands collided with your shoulders. The force of it was not unlike what you imagined it would feel like to be hit by a truck. 

You slammed against the door with a blatant thump and you stared at him in shock. The blood in your veins turned to ice as you met his intense gaze. They looked like pits of black in the dimly lit foyer and you wanted to shrink down in size. Becoming as small as possible.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” His hands gripped your jacket and slammed you into the door again, wild and careless. “You think you can just walk in here like you fucking own the place?” He was shouting now, and you felt the moisture of his wrath spray on your face. The thick scent of alcohol making your nostrils burn in protest.

“Kylo-“ You whimpered, tears already spilling down your cheeks.

“How dare you say my name, filthy fucking whore.” He spat at you. Then, Kylo Ren did something you didn’t expect. He hit you.

He hit you so hard your head swung violently to the side and time slowed down. You tasted copper and realized you had bitten your cheek, the flesh urged between your molars with the pressure of the ruthless slap. There was the irrefutable ache of his assault but also of his betrayal. Not twelve hours ago he had urged you to trust him, and now he was hurting you. Actually hurting you.

Your fight or flight kicked in and you pushed against his chest with all your might - urging him away from you as fiercely as you could manage. It only made him laugh bitterly.

He gripped your hands and yanked you forward so hard you thought your shoulder would pop out of the socket, and swung you away from the door. He let you go at the last moment and you crashed against the large stone column and onto the floor.

You were vaguely aware of your head searing with pain as you stared at your attacker. He was still coming at you. “Kylo, please!” You begged for his mercy and curled up into a tight ball on the ground where you had landed.

Your arms shielded your face and cradled your head as your knees tucked tightly against your chest. He could kill you. He might kill you.

You begged again through your panicked weeping and prepared for the onslaught of force from his designer shoes kicking your defenseless body.

Only the impact never came. Over your own labored breaths, you heard Kylo’s as well and you looked up just in time to see him pick up your bags and throw them outside, down the front steps. His face was as red as yours, only his was missing an angry welted handprint and a small laceration at the hairline. Which you still hadn’t realized you had.

Daisy had vanished and you wished so desperately to disappear, too. To cease to exist as the pain inside your heart shattered it to pieces. You finally, using the last of your adrenaline, pushed yourself off the floor. You wiped at the thick mixture of blood and spit that had accumulated at the corner of your mouth. You were ready to run as fast and far as you needed to in order to get to safety - wherever that was.

“Get the fuck out.”

You didn’t need to be told twice. As you fled the scene, you could still hear the sounds of Kylo Ren beating something to a pulp before you heard an agonized howl that pierced your soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry. This hurt me so much to write. I’m aiming for 3k-5k word updates every day right now, if you’d like longer updates less often, let me know! 
> 
> thank you so much for your kudos/reads/comments! i cant believe we are already at 700 hits! 
> 
> This story is plotting itself out faster than I can write it right now - thanks for sticking with me!
> 
> be safe, ily!


	10. Licking Your Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: alcohol use

You had absolutely no concept of time as you sat behind the wheel of your car for the first time since taking your new job. You weren't sure if Kylo would want the once gifted Audi back or not, and you certainly didn't want to give him another reason to think of you with discontent, so you opted to leave it behind.

Flipping down the visor of your old reliable - the keys dropped into your lap and you thanked a higher power for your foresight. The small wound on your head was pulsating and you winced as you prodded it with an inspecting digit.

It wouldn't need stitches, and you knew that head lacerations had a tendency to bleed more than an injury to another part of the body. You found solace in the logical half of your brain, leaning into your schooling for assurance when everything else felt so uncertain.

Even thinking about the amber eyed monster made you throat burn with sorrow. You hadn't known him long enough for his outburst to come as any sort of shock - only it felt truly personal.

What had he called you? Filthy fucking whore. Right.

You had gathered your belongings in a haze of confusion from the stoop of the estate and the bags sat in your back seat - clothes erupting from the open zippered compartments. It's not like you had time to pack them away neatly.

You wanted desperately to call Rey. To hear her mollifying voice as she coaxed you back to a state of sanity. You could almost hear her voice in your head. Forget about him. Be with me, here. I've got you. You didn't fight as the tears fell from your tired eyes.

It didn't make sense for you to be feeling this way. Kylo Ren was essentially nothing to you. He wanted you. He said he wanted you. The rejection. He said you could trust him. The betrayal. He held you while you cried. He changed your clothes and tucked you in. He took care of you. The... whiplash.

It felt like the two of you shared something in common. Something neither of you had said aloud, but that was there nonetheless. Constantly in play, even when you didn't realize it. On top of that, he had been so tender with you. So kind to you without even really knowing you.

Your rational brain incessantly reminded you of the fact that it wasn't the first time he had hit you, but you were quick to come to his defense. Punishment isn't abuse.

Was what he did hours ago abuse?

Did it even matter?

The sobs came forcefully and you glanced at the bags in the backseat. You remembered the fact that you had wound up in possession of one of Kylo's shirts and you climbed out of your seat.

Nestled on the mothball infested bench in the back of the car, you laid down on your side, Kylo Ren's shirt hugged tightly to your chest.

Where do you go from here? The idea of continuing your life as if none of this had ever happened seemed unobtainable and so unbearably painful you chased the thought away as soon as it emerged.

You finally allowed your heavy eyelids to fall, and you fell asleep on the side of the road, in your car. A puddle of coagulated blood staining the seat forever beneath your resting head.

-

-

For the first time in your life, you skipped classes. You needed the familiarity of your own four walls, and you definitely needed the light bruising to fade from your face. Also, licking your wounds was a practice best done in private.

To your dismay, Kylo hadn't reached out as you had expected him to. Not even a simple apology. Nor had Vicrul. It was like you dreamt the whole thing up. Cut from his magnificent life like a festering cancer.

It's not like you were in love with him - thank god. However, it was impossible to not feel something for him, after the things he had done for you. The things he said to you. The person who hemade you believe you were to him. You were sure you'd never experience anything like it again - and that kind of loss took time to grieve.

In the last 72 hours, you had done little more than drag yourself down the stairwell to the restaurant below your feet for meals. The owners also happened to be your landlord and her husband, and that came with perks. Discounted meals and beer - which as far as city law went - you weren't supposed to take off the property.

The alcohol didn't taste good, but when it thrummed through you, you felt better equipped to deal with... whatever it was that you were feeling.

Your phone lie unlocked and glaring at you from the nightstand as you sat with a gyro in a takeout box on your bed. You had about 100 missed calls from your friends, and not even enough energy to send a simple text saying you were alive. You hoped they wouldn't be offended by the sudden football field of distance you had forced between yourself and anyone who cared about you.

-

-

On the seventh day, you were fed up with wallowing in your misery and finally picked up your phone.

Fuck the contract. Fuck the NDA. You were a woman scorned, fueled with the realization of apparent ease in which Kylo Ren had vanished from your life.

You inspected your face in the mirror and noticed the bruising around the small cut on your forehead had faded to a subtle yellow. The previous angry handprint had disappeared just like the man who bestowed it upon your cheek in the first place.

You hurried to tug on any clothes you could find and cradled your phone against your ear. After a few rings, Rey answered, and you immediately felt a bit on relief flood through your system.

"You could at least tell your warden to give you phone privileges—" She started. She was entitled to her anger, but you held onto the hope that she would still offer you the sanctuary you needed.

"I quit. I think. Can I come over?" Your eyes shifted to your nightstand and the clock on top of it. Classes were just finishing up. You shivered as you wondered how much make up work this little pity party would result in.

A beat. "Yes, I'll grab pizza on the way and meet you there. You still have a key?"

"Yes." You paused. "...and Rey? Thank you. I'm sorry I've been a bad friend."

"See you soon," she ended the call after saying your name.

-

-

"Woah... woah, wait. Start from the beginning." Rey sat, cross-legged on the floor of her living room. She was seated on a faux fur rug and her hands were holding up a half eaten piece of pepperoni pizza to her waiting mouth.

You weren't sure how truly fucked you would be if you actually violated the NDA - but you were done protecting someone who could hurt you the way he had.

"So after he showed up to Finn's, we went back to his house and he was very upset with me. Rightfully so, to be honest, I really did just bail on him." You paused to take a small sip of your wine, hoping it would provide you with some courage.

Rey stayed attentive, waiting for you to continue. You had to be careful, but honest. You wished to tell her everything- but Rey would go full momma bear mode and murder Kylo Ren in cold blood if you said too much.

"We talked. I apologized, and he made the terms of my contract very clear." You said, your voice not giving away your carefully cherry picked recollection.

"And then what?" She encouraged, leaning forward slightly to reach her own glass full of wine.

"Things went back to normal, I guess. He was in a better mood when I woke up and he showed me more of the property and I took care of Daisy for a little."

"So he wasn't acting strangely when you left for class?"

"Hm. No... at least, I don't think so. He made it clear he expected me to come home after class every day and I agreed that I would and that was that."

"You said when you came home though he immediately told you to leave, right? What's up with that?"

You had glossed over the manner by which he had asked you to leave in your initial retelling. Your voice had only wavered slightly, the time separating you from the volatile memory acting as a buffer for your still healing heart.

"I have no idea. I wasn't about to argue. I got my stuff and I left. I haven't heard from him since." You finished, gladly gulping down more wine.

Rey looked truly stumped. "Have you texted him or his... he has an assistant, right? Have you tried any of his staff?"

"No." Your tone was flat.

Rey sighed, scooting forward on the rug before she was seated in front of you. She set her delicate glassware on the table and pulled you in for a hug. Her arms wrapped around your shoulders and you were sure you would cry.

"You don't need that asshole," she soothed you, her voice mothering as she said your name. "I'm sure your old clients will take you back in a heartbeat, too. We can also post ads in the school newspaper and on the bulletin board, ok? Soon you'll be making so much dough you won't even remember his name."

The way she said dough made you giggle and you sniffled, forcing yourself to pull back from the embrace. "Thank you. For everything. You're right. I was doing just fine before him, I'll do just fine without him too." If only your heart was as easily persuaded as your mind.

-

-

Rey said a small goodbye to you in the morning as she slipped out for classes. She vowed to make a list of the assignments you missed and invited you to stay as long as you needed. She didn't understand why you so broken by what had happened - how could she - without the whole story. Only that was something only you had the pleasure - and burden - of bearing.

Eventually, you found yourself climbing up the steps to your sunshine apartment. The door was a faded white and the paint was stripped off in several areas - revealing the murky truth of oak underneath.

There was an envelope stuck between the frame and the door and you looked dumbly over your shoulder as if to see the person who put it there standing at the base of the stairs.

The calligraphy was done in black ink. The letters elegant and precise. One word adorned the front - your name. You pulled it from where it rested between the wooden confines and anger surged through your fingertips as you turned the envelope over.

On it was a First Order Holdings Inc. sigil, stamped in red ink. Kylo Ren had given you a letter.

-

-

(KYLO POV)

Kylo stared out the floor to ceiling windows in his corner office that looked out over the city. He was sat in his chair, that was still so new it permeated the scent of leather.

An annoying voice grated his concentration and he turned to examine the source. Armitage Hux had let himself in - it typical fashion - and welcomed himself to a seat in front of the desk.

"Are you just going to stare out the window all day or do you plan on doing your job, Ren?" His tone was purely rancorous.

At that, Kylo slowly turned in his chair to face the only man he truly disliked. "What did you say?" It was a test. A dare.

Hux smiled hatefully. "What are you gonna do, throw me off the 66th floor? I'm sure Senator Snoke would be delighted to hear of that, too."

Too. Kylo Ren seethed, and pushed himself to his feet from the desk, his chair rolled backwards from the force. "It was you?" He knew as soon as he spoke the words of their validity.

"Of course it was. I will not allow you to keep secrets from our Leader."

Kylo had no time for Hux and now, it was his turn to storm out. He barely thought to grab his car keys as he left. He needed to get home. He needed to do something.

Of course it was fucking HUX. He was shaking with scorching fury and a string of curses were the only words his mouth could form.

For the first time in his life, Kylo was going to ask for advice. He arrived home in record time as his car all but drove itself to the courtyard of a driveway. His fingers carded through his hair briskly as he skipped every other step, climbing to his front door.

Before he was even through he spoke. "Vicrul."

A beat. "Yes, Master Ren?" Vicrul was always lurking close enough that he could be there in no time at all should Kylo need him.

Kylo shut the door and rested his head against it. The wood was cool against his burning face and he slammed his fist against it once in frustration. "What do I do."

Vicrul had not only been Kylo's longest kept staff, but they had grown up together. Kylo was a touch older, and he had fond memories of teaching Vicrul things you could only learn from an older brother. Things like how to roll a joint and how to stand up to dickheads in the schoolyard.

Vicrul's perfect posture relaxed, and he stepped cautiously towards Kylo like he was afraid the cobra could strike at any moment.

"Perhaps you should sit, master. Let me fetch you something to drink." The man had maintained his professional inflection.

"Cut the shit, Vic. Please. Just help me." Kylo seemed tortured as he turned to look at the man that was practically kin.

Vicrul had never heard Kylo Ren ask for help. Not once in all the years that he had known him.

Vicrul truly relaxed, and he shook his head slightly, holding his hands out to Kylo as if a gentle reminder he came in peace. "Sit down. I'll get us something to drink."

Kylo finally gave in, and dragged his feet to the expanse of his living room. He threw his large body down onto the couch and it made a considerable noise as the weight of him forced the air from the cushions. He groaned.

Vicrul was back in no time at all with a decanter full of amber liquor and two glasses. He worked to fill them both to an appropriate level and held one out to the tortured soul in front of him.

Kylo held the glass, dwarfing it with the size of his hand and thick fingers before knocking all of it back at once. Vicrul soon did the same - taking the hint that this talk definitely wasn't about to happen sober.

After about a half hour of tending to the expensive scotch - both men were pleasantly tipsy. The tension in the air was gone as they both sat, fully relaxed, on the sofa. Staring at the ceiling in silence.

"I hit her." Kylo confessed, after a few more silent minutes.

"I know." Vicrul responded softly.

"Why did I hit her."

"You were angry."

"Yes, but not with her."

"I know."

Unprompted, Daisy entered the room and walked right past Kylo to settle at Vicrul's side. Clearly making a point.

"You know they say dogs can sense when a person is bad." Kylo sounded sad.

"You're not bad, brother."

"How do you know?" Kylo had shifted to look at the younger now.

"I wouldn't be anywhere in this life without you. Yes. You made a mistake. A mistake you must fix. But you're not bad."

After a quiet breath, Kylo reached for the decanter and took a drink straight from its mouth. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve and sighed. "I don't think I can fix it."

"She's a nice girl, brother. She won't need you to move mountains."

"I wish I could move mountains."

"How about you start with an apology and figure it out from there?"

"An apology?" Kylo grew confused. Of course he knew what an apology was, he just didn't know how to execute one. He wouldn't even know where to begin.

"Yes. Apologize. She will forgive you." Vicrul assured. "She is just scared."

"Ok." Kylo nodded. He felt the weight of Vicrul's words fall on his shoulders and he truly felt miserable. There was no reason for him to react the way he had.

Truthfully he was scared. Snoke had said he had already figured everything out. Kylo Ren never wanted something as pure as soft as the woman he had brought into his life to ever even know about Snoke.

In his days, Kylo had seen Snoke do terrible things. He shivered as he recalled the way Snoke thought of people as pigs for slaughter. "A few choice sacrifices could mean a promising future for you for the rest of your life."

He had to get her back - and he had to make sure Snoke remained as far away from her as possible. He was going to fight for both. The light, and the dark.

-

-

The envelope seemed to glow from the kitchen counter as you sat on the barstool, leering at it. You didn't know whether or not to open it. Would anything change the way you felt? Would your resolve that you were better off forgetting all this had ever happened crumble as soon as you broke the seal?

You had finished an entire bottle of wine before you felt powerful and brave enough to endure whatever it was that the ivory mystery had to offer. You stood, and snatched it off the counter. Buzzing with alcohol and nervousness, you tore it open unceremoniously.

You don't really know what you were expecting - but this certainly wasn't it.

A check. The envelope contained a check.

You pulled it out and examined the face of it fully. When you got to the amount - you gasped and dropped it like it had burned you.

It was more money than you had ever seen in your entire life - and judging by the fact that your name was listed as the recipient... it was more money than you have ever had in your entire life. Far more.

You picked up the torn open envelope again and examined it further, begging for something to explain the hideous amount of money Kylo Ren had given to you.

Your search didn't come up empty as you saw a small note still hidden inside. It looked like it had been torn off of a larger piece of paper and you brought it out into the light to examine it.

**I'm sorry**.

In a blind rage, you gathered everything up just the way you had received it. Tucking the check back into the envelope - and the note - with trembling hands. Before you could combat the alcohol induced impulsivity - you tore the envelope to pieces, littering your hardwood floor in a peppering of snowlike insurgence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this a little early because i'm sure some of you are NOT ok after last chapter!
> 
> cuddle something soft, eat some chocolate, and hang in there - good things are coming! 
> 
> be safe! xx


	11. Compromise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: alcohol use

(HUX POV)

Armitage Hux found himself sitting on top of a very interesting string of documents that would - hopefully - be enough to sway Senator Snoke into Hux's favor.

Carrying the manila envelope in hand, he stepped into the elevator and hit the button for the top floor. Of course Snoke sits above the rest of us, Hux thought, while the loyalty-free elevator music hummed in the background.

It was not the first time he had been into the vast space where Snoke spent the majority of his work days - but Hux felt apprehensive sweat erupt along the fair skin on the back of his neck.

It truly was something out of movie. It seemed like an impossibly large space to exist at the top of a corporate office building. Like a world of it's own. A world that the man seated at it's center had created at no small cost.

The elder was expecting Armitage and he stepped across the onyx flooring - doing his best to maintain an aura of competency. He lowered himself on to the chair and wasted no time by emptying the contents of the folder onto the desk. At no point did Hux raise his eyes to peer into the other's - whether by show of respect or cowardice.

"What is all this?" the Senator's voice was gruff, and he seemed impatient.

"I thought you'd like to know what Ren is doing with our enterprise's precious resources."

-

-

Your eyes were glossed over as the professor at the front of the lab droned on about culture swabs. Finn and Poe sat next to you, whispering to each other - occasionally nudging you to get you to referee their makeshift game of table soccer.

It was the middle of October and the classroom's thick windows were lined with delicate icicles as the melting snow on the roof dripped down onto the grass below.

The ground outside was covered in a thin veil of frost and you wondered how it would sound crunching under your boots. This time of year was always your favorite. The trees half naked, bright red and orange leaves clinging to the little life they had left before ultimately succumbing to mother nature.

Nothing lasts forever. Not even leaves. It was a bitter thought, but a true one. For the past 24 hours you had stewed in the knowledge that there lie a destroyed check for a heinous amount of money covering the bottom of your wastebasket, tucked under your desk at home.

Not even Rey knew about the recent development and you honestly didn't know if you were going to mention it or not. Trying to keep a low profile, you leaned over to the men next to you and whispered.

"What would you guys do if someone tried to pay you to keep you quiet about something?" You hoped they wouldn't read too much into it, but knew the opinionated pair would offer insight you probably wouldn't gain on your own.

"Depends how much," Poe started to say.

"Yeah, are we talking money here, or a few generous bills." Finn added.

"Money. Lots of money." You said with a curious smile.

"Fuck yeah, I'd take it and they would never hear a peep from me again." Poe finally said after some deliberation.

"But what if-"

Finn cut you off. "What are they trying to hide? Is it something harmful? Are people at risk?"

You enjoyed how they took your hypothetical scenario literally, instead of writing it off as nonsense and not worth talking about, as you feared they might.

"The damage has already been done, but... you'll never get justice or peace about what happened if you take it." A dull pain nudged your heart.

Poe was the first to respond, simply shrugging his shoulders. "Money can't make it go away, sure, but I know I would much rather cry in a mansion."

You shivered. "What about you, Finn?" Desperately, you wanted someone to make you feel better about what you had done so impulsively.

Finn looked deep in thought, before finally leaning closer to you to answer. The professor continued their lecture after pausing to look at the group of you huddled together.

"I would demand an explanation, and I don't think I could take the money. I would want to know. I wouldn't want to be tortured with not knowing... even in a mansion." He said with finality.

Demand an explanation. How would a person go about demanding anything from Kylo Ren? You knew where he lived, and where he worked, but there was no way someone like you could muster the tenacity for that type of feat. Right?

In that moment, you wished you hadn't have said anything. While Finn made you feel better about what you had already done, he had also made you feel guilty about what you hadn't. Guilty about what you couldn't do. How you aspired to be like Poe. Head in the clouds without a worry in the world. To live out your days with your feet kicked up in lackadaisical peace.

You had seen Poe get upset - angry, even - plenty of times. However his rage would often explode one moment and evaporate the next. He allowed his troubles to roll off his back. A skill you desperately wished you could inherit somehow.

"Why'd you ask, anyway?" Finn said, after awhile of taking notes for the first time since the class had started.

"Oh." You responded. Think. "I am writing a paper on settlement and morality. I just wanted a second opinion." Where the fuck did that come from?

He seemed to buy your lie and nodded his head. "People shouldn't be allowed to hurt people." He turned back to the board, his hand scrawling more notes as he listened.

You, on the other hand, could do anything but pay attention. Finn had just lit a fire under your ass and he didn't even know it.

You decided that, after school, you were going to confront Kylo Ren. You were going to get answers by any means necessary - and then - you were going to move on. Close the chapter of your life that made your path cross with his, and go on living.

-

-

It was a quarter past three and you sat, still dressed in your work scrubs and old sneakers, in the lobby of First Order Holdings Inc. The floor was polished and shining, and on the walls hung minimalist art work and intricate glass lighting fixtures.

The front desk was attended to by a polite woman who offered you something to drink before taking down your name.

"I'm here to see Ky— Mr. Ren."

"Do you have an appointment?" She had asked.

"No. But I must see him. Urgently. It won't take long."

She had given you a stern look, but once she had your name she quickly announced into the phone to someone that you were in the waiting room and that it was urgent.

A man you didn't recognize strolled out of the heavy looking glass doors that lead deeper into the offices and as he passed you he looked at you with so much disdain you worried if looks could kill. His face was nearly as red as the hair that adorned the top of his head and you could only offer a timid smile back. Maybe he had the wrong person? You had never seen the man before in your life. A stranger would have no reason to look at you like that, though.

Shortly after the awkward interaction was over, a man you did know came out of the doors in double time. He was half-jogging to where you sat in the waiting room and before he could even reach you he had his hand out to grab you and haul you to your feet.

He glanced over his shoulder and pulled you out of the office and into the hallway. Your indignation grew ten fold and the moment you were clear of lingering eyes, you wrenched yourself out of his grip.

"Don't touch me." You spat, willing the tears in your eyes to remain frozen in place.

His voice was wounded as he said your name. "Please. I know you're angry with me but-"

"Angry with you? Why would I be angry with you, Kylo? For touching me, for calling me a whore, for hitt-" The words flew out of your mouth unbidden, and your anger only grew as you continued to speak.

Until he clamped his hand over your mouth - a desperate attempt to get you to be quiet, afraid someone might here the commotion in his place of work.

The realization only made your fury that much more volatile and it was a struggle to stifle the curses that begged to fall free. When you were quiet he took his hand away.

"Please. Not here." His tone was pleading, and when you finally met his eyes - all you saw was pure terror. "Please." Kylo begged again.

A beat. "Where? When." You weren't backing down. He must've known it because after a moment he finally spoke, in resignation.

"Meet me at the estate in one hour, we can talk."

You shook your head furiously. "I'm never going back there. Meet me at the restaurant on the corner, down the street. One hour."

He agreed and stepped away from you. You tore down the hallway with invigorated determination. You were going to get answers.

Powerful confidence from your success boiled in your gut and when you were a safe distance away from Kylo and First Order entirely - you smiled. Your arms wrapping around yourself in glee.

You stood up to him, and he let you. You had the power now, and you weren't going to let him off as easily as he had hoped. No, Kylo Ren was going to do exactly what you wanted, this time.

-

-

The restaurant was humming with life as you stepped inside the revolving door to make your way to the host station. The man at the stand was uniformed in dress pants and a collared shirt and he looked at your attire with clear derision and you feigned a polite smile in return.

He asked for your name and you gave it, and after hardly looking at the reservation list, he informed you that you could not get a table for quite some time - if at all, that evening.

Still riding the high that you got from your interaction with Kylo, you smiled at the host again. "I'm sure that's a mistake. Maybe it is under my boss' name." You offered, saying a silent prayer that Kylo Ren's name held as much weight as you thought it did.

With an impatient sigh, the host entertained your persistence. "Who's your boss?" He looked you up and down again, sizing you up.

"Kylo Ren." You stated matter-of-factly.

The host's smug face fell at the mention of your boss and he shook his head in disbelief. "No way."

You almost felt bad for him, he truly picked the wrong girl to fuck with today. "I'd be happy to call him. I'm not too sure he would be pleased to hear about your inability to do your job, though."

Threatening strangers. It wasn't a good look, but you were too fired up to care. You made a mental note to make sure Kylo tipped generously - if he would even order food in the first place - you definitely couldn't eat right now, in any case.

"Right this way." Without further complaint, the man took you to a secluded seating area. He led you to a booth that seated 4, a notecard rested on the top of it that said "Reserved" and you looked at it curiously before the man retrieved it from the table. "Enjoy." He said, stiffly.

Looking around, you noticed that the restaurant wasn't as full as you thought it would be. The menu was a small leather bound pamphlet and the prices indicated a level of fine dining that you had never been able to enjoy before.

Today was not the day, though.

The waiter soon came by and, just as the host did, examined you. Placed in the scenery of the restaurant, mixed in with the other higher class and professional clientele - you certainly looked out of place. The confusion only lingered on his expression for a moment though before his apt courtesy kicked in.

"Can I offer you something to drink while you wait, miss? Wine, perhaps?" It was the middle of the afternoon of a weekday - but you said yes anyway. Liquid courage.

-

-

Some time later, you picked out Kylo Ren among the people entering the venue. He stood at least a half foot taller than the other patrons and wore an intense look. His eyes dark and his brow creased with tension.

You wish you could have seen the look on the host's face when Kylo walked in. A giggle fell from your lips at the thought. The wine had made your anger simmer into a slow boil, and it warmed your cheeks.

He located you with relative ease and soon was seated before you on the other side of the table.

"Thank you," He said immediately. "For allowing us to do this here."

You simply nodded and held the glass of wine in your hand. You swirled it gently and watched it lick the sides of the goblet, leaving a trail in its wake. A telltale sign of expensive wine.

"Look I-" He started to say, and not for the first time, you cut him off.

"I ripped up your check."

His eyes widened and he looked perplexed. "Why?"

"Because I don't want your money."

"You earned it. I have to pay you."

"We both know you grossly overshot my salary, Kylo. Also, it didn't feel right to accept after you called me a...what was it again?" You pause for effect. "Oh yeah. A filthy fucking whore."

Kylo sat back in the seat and looked to the ceiling. As if he was pleading for mercy. "I'm sorry."

"I don't believe you."

"What do you want from me?" His eyes met yours again. An endless swirl of tortured mahogany and scorched ambers.

"I want..." You stopped. What did you want, really? "I want an explanation."

"I can't give you one."

You hadn't been expecting a flat out refusal. "Why not?" Your tone betraying your forced calm.

"Because. I don't have one. Nothing can explain what I did to you - especially after I asked for your trust."

It was your turn to slump in your seat. Well. There it was, exactly what you came for. Only it didn't feel as good as you thought it would - not even close.

His eyes studied you and he shifted forward. His hand reached across the table and you quickly folded your hands in your lap. He flinched at the quickness of your withdrawal. "I... I never wanted to hurt you."

"But you did." You said, your fingers fidgeting as you fought the urge to bite off the hangnail you had become highly focused on while avoiding the intensity of his gaze.

"I did." He said in agreement.

The waiter came back while the two of you sat there in heavy silence and Kylo ordered a bottle and asked if you were hungry. When you said no he looked at you for a moment before nodding to the waiter.

"Nothing for me either, thanks."

You let out a small sigh of relief. He was letting you call the shots.

When the tension grew so thick you could cut into it like a thick steak, Kylo finally spoke. "You feel it too, don't you?"

Your heart thumped in your chest and you downed the rest of your glass - remaining silent.

"I want you back. Working for me, I mean."

"I don't want to work for you anymore." In reality, in that moment, you didn't believe the words that came out of your mouth.

"But the contract-"

You shot daggers at him and his voice faltered. "Really, Kylo? You're going to hold me to a piece of paper after you brutalized me in your home?" Maybe it was a little dramatic of a word, but your heart certainly felt brutalized.

Kylo looked at war with his own mind as he sat in front of you, nursing his own glass of rich wine. He looked oddly fragile, and you ached to climb in his lap like you had not so long ago.

"What if there was a compromise?" He said softly, after several minutes.

"I don't see how a compromise is possible here." You sounded just as hopeless as he did.

He said your name. "I feel something. You..." He hesitated and it appeared as if the sentence was causing him physical pain.

"Please. Finish that sentence." You were pleading. You wanted him to say something so magical that it would make everything ok again.

"You remind me of someone I used to know. Losing you felt like losing myself. Please come back."

You wanted to push him. You barely even know me. But you didn't. "You didn't lose me, Kylo. You never had me in the first place. Also...I don't trust you anymore."

"Let me fix it. I can fix this." He sounded sure this time, and when he reached for your hand, you let him take it. The electricity tingled between you where your skin touched.

You spoke, your voice impossibly small. "Ok."

"Have dinner with me?" His thumb brushed over your knuckles and your stomach flipped.

"Aren't we having dinner now?" You flashed a playful smile, feeling the last of your anger dissipate.

"I think that would require us to be eating, no?" He returned your smile.

"Hm. Touché. Ok... I'll have dinner with you."

"Tonight? Now?" Geez. He's giddy.

"Tomorrow. After my classes. You can have time to sort out your... compromise. I can't wait to hear what you come up with, sir." Just like that, things appeared to be back to normal. Only this time, you felt you had a little power of your own. "By the way... I may have threatened the host." You needed to confess your crimes to someone, lest the guilt gobble you up.

"Oh?" He laughed. "I should fire him for making you."

You paled and gawked at him. "Explain."

"You didn't know? I own this restaurant. I thought that's why you picked it."

So much for neutral territory. You shook your head. "Thank you... for the wine." Rising to your feet, you smoothed your pale blue scrub shirt and shifted your weight from one foot to the other.

Kylo was quick to stand too and he clasped your hand in his impossibly large palm before dragging it up to his lips. He placed gentle kisses across each of your knuckles and then spoke. "Tomorrow." It was a promise.

-

-

Shortly before class had let out, Kylo had texted you that he would have a car pick you up from your apartment around six. Which left you plenty of time to change out of your scrubs and shower. You still hadn't decided what you were going to wear.

You hadn't asked how he knew where you lived, but clearly he had figured it out since he had the check delivered to your front door. You tried to picture Kylo himself hand delivering it, but didn't think it possible for a man like him to exist in the same space as the decaying apartment.

At lunch, Rey had asked you for any sort of update - sensing your better mood. You told her that you were going to discuss your employment over dinner, and you also told her all about how you had stormed First Order Holdings Inc.

Poe had given you a high five, and Finn gave you an almost knowing smile. Maybe he had figured out your hypothetical question wasn't so hypothetical, after all. If he had, he didn't say anything - and he probably wouldn't. Finn was the type of friend to do that sort of thing - and it didn't go unnoticed or unappreciated.

-

-

At six, the car idled outside of your building just on schedule. It was a standard black town car only the windows had been tinted too dark to see who sat behind the wheel. Anxiously, you locked the door behind you and climbed down the stairs to meet your mystery chauffeur.

You had selected a light wash pair of jeans that hugged your legs nicely. They didn't have any holes and you dressed them up by pairing them with a striped loosely fitted tee and blazer. A winter jacket lined with faux fur was folded over your arm.

Before you reached the door handle yourself, a familiar man popped open the driver side door and made his way to the back door. He opened it for you widely and smiled.

"It's nice to see you," Vicrul greeted, using your last name.

"It's nice to see you too," You climbed into the backseat and tried to stop your teeth from assaulting your lower lip as you waited to begin the journey.

A true professional, Vicrul didn't say anything to you other than the polite courtesy his job entailed and you stared out the window to observe the swift passings of trees and buildings.

Eventually, the dense collection of brownstones stopped and gave way to a park, one you had been to many times. You passed the main campus of your school and turned onto the highway.

Starkiller Estates was still inside the city limits, but the landscape really turned into something beautiful as you drove further and further down the road.

The lights lining the driveway let you know you were all but there and you thought of them as twinkling fireflies. Soft white light casted onto the inch of snow that was on the ground. The sound of windshield wipers and the blowing heat the only noise to speak of.

Vicrul let you out at the foot of the stoop and offered to help you up the stairs. "It's quite slippery, allow me."

"Thank you," You held onto his extended arm and the two of you climbed them together - ice salt crunching under your shoes.

As always, the door swung open as soon as you reached the top.

Kylo was glaring at the man to your left and your eyes widened. Vicrul quickly untangled your arm from his and gave you a swift nod before disappearing. Was Kylo jealous?

As you stepped inside, you brushed the snow that had blessed your head off with your hands, shaking out the remainder of the chill from your bones. Kylo had lit the fireplace and you were immediately basking in the warm temperature of the main house.

It felt eerie to be back.

Finally, Kylo broke the silence. "You came."

You looked at him. "Did I have a choice?"

"Yes." He said, though he didn't seem offended. "You always do."

You met his gaze and smiled warmly, any remnant of apprehension left his features as soon as he saw your eyes light up. Now it was his turn to be the awkward one, and he shifted on his feet.

Kylo Ren was nervous.

The realization made your head spin. "So..." you started, opting to head for the dining room. "I trust you've hammered out the details of this compromise, then?"

Kylo followed you and rolled his shoulders before he sat down. "Ah, yes. Our... compromise. Yes. I've got it all figured out." Business Kylo was back and sexier than ever, looking confident as his hands reached for something under the table that you couldn't see.

He lifted it, mischief and earnest dancing in his expression as he set it on the table.

Your eyes grew in sizable confusion, for the object he had placed in front of you, was not what you had expected at all.

-

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note:
> 
> That’s it, the end! I’m KIDDING! HAHA. The next chapter is where the fun truly begins. Thank for you your support, it really does make writing this so rewarding!
> 
> be safe! xx


	12. Game, Set, Match

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: spanking, light smut, blindfold.
> 
> Enjoy <3

It took you several minutes for your brain to grasp what you were looking at. The moment the fragments joined together and logic weaved the fabric of understanding in your mind, your mouth popped open. _What the fuck?_

Placed on the center of the dinner table was a huge glass container filled to the brim with _hundreds_ of buttons. They were all unique in size and shape, no two the same. Kylo looked cautiously between the collection and you a few times as if he was standing by for some grand epiphany from you.

“Uh... what am I looking at, exactly?” You asked, your hands automatically reaching for the jar.

Before your fingers could connect, Kylo pulled it just out of your grasp. He raised his hand to the lid and snapped the latch open before he reached in and captured a handful of them.

“Give me your hand.” He directed, his voice was the pleasant honey you had become so fond of. You didn’t realize how much you had missed it.

You obeyed, cupping your hands and placing them face up on the table, waiting for him to hand over the bundle.

Still riddled with bewilderment, you met Kylo’s gaze and tilted your head as you observed him release the loose bundle into your palms. There were perhaps a dozen or so, and you marveled at how truly different they all were from each other.

“I collect them.” He added, finally answering your unspoken question.

You felt slow. “How are these buttons a compromise?”

He beamed at you and a giant grin took sanctuary on his lips as he abruptly opened the glass jar and emptied it onto the table. The clattering of each button free falling from their glass prison was overbearing, and you were thankful when they eventually came to rest in a towering mound, watching as some of them slipped to the floor.

You noticed Daisy lay near you; you were eager to have a moment with her to reunite - but now was not the time.

Kylo came over to where you sat and he settled the jar in your lap, holding it steady for you. “Put them in.”

You were just as puzzled as ever - but you complied. The buttons you had held in your palms fell to the bottom and made tinkling noises of impact once again.

“You won’t take my money, correct?”

You nodded, anxious for him to explain himself.

“The idea that I would like to propose is this. I will offer you buttons in exchange for your services. You may reject any request I make. Once the jar is full - you can go, if that’s still what you want.”

You gaped at him. Your eyes moving to the heaping mound of them on the table. “There must be hundreds... How long am I meant to play this game with you, Kylo?”

He frowned slightly. “There’s 419 buttons.”

You set the jar down and peeked up at him. The gears were turning in your head as you tried to figure it out. “And the buttons you just gave me... what were they for? What do I have to do now?”

“Nothing. You never have to do anything you don’t want to do ever again. I promise. Those buttons are a gift for having dinner with me tonight.”

“How will this make me trust you?”

“I won’t touch you unless you accept my buttons. I’ll make clear what I want from you and you can decide whether or not you want it.”

“Nothing happens without my say so?”

“Correct.” He smiled hopefully.

“I don’t know...” It was clear this was no longer about house-sitting. Kylo Ren wanted to _touch_ you.

“I’m too selfish to just let you walk out of my life.” He admitted.

“I don’t see how this is any different from you calling all the shots. There has to be some balance here, Kylo. It’s the only way I can be around you.”

If it hurt him, he didn’t show it. “Ok.” His shoulders sagged slightly, and you quickly came up with an idea as you watched him.

“Wait.” You reached a hand into the bottom of the jar and pulled out a button. It was about the size of a quarter and was gray with great swooshes of black. You held your hand out flat, signaling to Kylo that you wanted his hand.

He took to your guidance quickly and gave it to you, and you immediately placed the button into his palm.

“Now I get to ask for something too.”

A beat. He was thinking. When he spoke, his voice was cautious. “Ok.”

He had agreed - something you didn’t expect him to do. He was really trying. If only you had thought of what you wanted before you gave it to him.

You stared at him for a length of time before you finally sat up, your eyes lighting up as a question worth a button flashed across your consciousness. “You said yesterday that I reminded you of someone you used to know. Who?”

He flinched. Slowly, he held the button back out to you with a shake of his head. Oh. He could say no too. _It’s only fair._

Hm. You pushed the button back at him. “Fine. Not that one. The other night when you... touched me... after the party? Why did you do that?”

His eyes glittered with darkness and he reached into your jar and plucked one more button from the bottom. _It’s going to cost you._ You looked at the remaining ones in your jar and shrugged. Right now, answers were worth it.

He tossed the two buttons carelessly into _his_ pile and took a breath. “I did it because I wanted to see how far you were willing to go to obey me. You didn’t disappoint.”

Oh. “But... why?”

He eyed you and generously answered _free of charge._

“Curiosity, I suppose.”

You must’ve looked lost, because after a few seconds he slid a random button over to you, and you dropped it into the jar with a _clink._

It was his turn now.

“You liked it.” He mused.

“That’s not a question.”

“You liked my hands on your ass, you liked my fingers in your pretty pussy, didn’t you?”

You felt yourself flush, and you pressed your legs together. The buttons suddenly seemed erotic, and you stole one from his pile to add to your own. He didn’t stop you.

“Yes. I liked it.”

He moved closer to you, but didn’t make an attempt to touch you - true to his word. “Would you like to know why?”

Your stomach did a somersault, and you nervously tugged at the ends of your fingers in your lap. Was he going to give this to you for free too? You nodded slowly. How would _he_ know why you liked it, anyway?

“You liked it because you are _submissive.”_ The look in his eyes turned into something purely primal and - surprisingly - you didn’t want to run. You wanted more.

“And that’s special because... why?”

“Oh, baby. You are special. Your kind of surrender is so rare these days. I knew it existed within you the very first time we met. And then you called me ‘sir’ and well... here we are.” He shrugged as if he didn’t just explain the last two weeks of your life in one simple sentence.

You had been right. This was never about houses or dogs or employment. The realization suddenly smacked you in the face.

You were in a daze. Your brain replaying the scenes over and over in your head. Every word he had blurted out made sense, every touch, every innuendo, every time you felt like you were missing the joke. Everything. It all added up to a neat brief sentence. Kylo Ren saw something in you he wanted. Something he couldn’t find somewhere else - apparently.

“But how did you know I wanted you? Isn’t it customary for titles when you’re speaking to your boss? Maybe I was just being formal.” _Why the fuck are you trying to convince him you don’t like him?_

He audibly snorted and his hand hovered just over your thigh, his eyes searching yours for permission. It wasn’t lost on you and you nodded once, giving him silent access to your clothed flesh.

He growled. A low rumble from deep in his chest. “Let’s not pretend with each other, pet. I know you fantasize about me. I think I’ve made it abundantly clear that I feel the same interest in you. Haven’t I?”

For once, you agreed with him. “Yes.”

His fingers dug into your thigh and urged your legs apart, his hand dragging up higher. His fingers flexed, and it was almost uncomfortable, but you couldn’t bring yourself to protest.

“Yes what?”

“Yes, sir.”

He had to tear himself away from you, his hand raking through his hair as he tried to control his animalistic urges. “Fuck. This is going to be harder than I thought.”

Kylo finally stood and paced the room, careful not to step on Daisy, who remained watching the show unfold with disinterest.

He rubbed his jaw, clearly thinking about something, and all you could do was sit lamely and watch. Your head flashed you images of what it could be like with him. What limited sexual experience you had - he completely took over in your mind. When you thought of kissing and touches - you pictured him. Just like that night. You sucked in a breath and felt moisture at your core.

As soon as you made the realization that this entire thing had not only made you _wet,_ but that you had already regained some of your trust in him - you smiled, your hands coming to feel your blushing cheeks.

The tension between you was so sexually charged it was impossible to ignore. Your skin burned for him and with each step of his shoes against the tile, you grew more impatient.

You retrieved a button and slid it across the table, pulling his attention back to the game he had created for the two of you.

“Button for your thoughts?” You grinned.

He took it and examined it in his hand. This button was simple. Red. Blood red.

“I want to spend the rest of the evening showing you exactly how special you are. I want to kiss every inch of your delicious body and make you cum so many times you cry. God, how I want to make you cry.”

His words should have made you scared - but they didn’t. You drew forward, the globes of your ass resting on the very edge of the seat.

“I’ve never... uh... I’ve never done any of that.”

Kylo looked like he had seen a ghost, and he let out a pained groan. It looked like a man crazed and you couldn’t ignore the intense burn deep in your gut for him. A man you, until yesterday, thought you’d never see again.

“How many.”

“Kylo-“

He said your name like it was the sweetest melody in the world. “How. many.”

You looked at the pile and took three buttons. He stared at you in disbelief. There was no way you’d give him the pleasure of being your _first_ for three buttons, right?

“I want you to spank me again. Only this time, I want to be naked.”

A sick smile spread on his face as his pupils got larger. You had just made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. Served yourself up on a silver platter to a man - starved.

Oh yeah, you could definitely get used to the button game.

As soon as you had uttered your request, your body began to tremble in excitement. Not only had you never opted to be stark naked in the same room with a man before, but you never expected to be _asking_ to be spanked.

Oddly, you think there truly was something to the compromise that Kylo had come up with. Somehow, what was about to happen felt completely ok. You didn’t feel pressured or trapped. The one thought that was sticking with you though was the sentence he had tacked on to the end of the deal. _Once the jar is full - you can go, if that’s still what you want._

Did he really believe that you would leave him? Especially after falling down whatever rabbit hole the two of you were about to? Clearly, Kylo believed he _was_ being selfish with you. Truth be told, it was you who was being selfish with him.

You recalled the fact that Kylo had an entire wing of the house that he had told you was off limits. You looked at the collection of buttons in your jar and put a pin in your mind. You would exchange the next button for another answer.

-

-

**(KYLO POV)**

When she spoke, Kylo immediately felt his cock twitch in his pants. Spanking her had been just as erotic for him as it was for her, and now he would satiate his need to touch her again. His palms itched.

“I want you undressed and kneeling in the living room by the time I come back. Do you understand?” He towered over her in her chair, and his fingers cupped her chin. He wanted to see the pink on her cheeks as she answered him.

“Yes, sir.”

_Fuck._ “Good girl.”

No longer did he have to hide what he really wanted, not from her, anyway. He had been so _scared_ yesterday when she had so unknowingly wandered into the lion’s den. Kylo needed her to be out of there as soon as possible - not for his own safety - but for hers. He was sure she assumed the opposite, even going so far as to believe that Kylo was embarrassed of her.

He needed to change her mind. He would show her what he really thought by his actions. By his touch. By reaching inside of her soul and digging up the most secret parts. He wanted them dusted and polished. He wanted to consume her entirely.

It was undeniable the tether that bonded the two of them together when they were in any close proximity, and it buzzed inside of him in protest as he left her. He couldn’t do what he wanted to do if he was dressed in a stiff suit.

As he worked on shedding some layers, he grinned. He had chosen the perfect stage - and she had no idea. The angle of the cameras in the living room were just so perfect a frame for what she had asked him to do. He would be able to later enjoy it from not one but _two_ angles.

He pulled on his tie and tugged it free, carelessly tossing it into the basket that contained other articles of discarded laundry. Next, he shrugged out of the jacket, opting to hang it nicely on the hook instead of tossing it into a bundle where it was sure to crease.

He unbuttoned the top of his collared shirt, a small peak of chest hair visible as he revealed more of his skin. His actions were both slow and rushed as he prepared for what was to come. He didn’t want to appear too quickly because he wanted to later watch how she fidgeted and spent her time waiting for him to emerge like some powerful force.

Once he was satisfied with the minutes that had passed, he rolled up his sleeves. The roping of muscles in his forearms flexed as he folded each sleeve up once... twice. The shirt clung to him tighter than it was supposed to, for his broad chest and strong shoulders appeared bulky under the expensive fabric.

He flexed his fingers a few times and left his closet - only to turn around instantly to retrieve an item that he hoped she would let him use during their dance. The push and pull of Dominance and submission. It was an art, an elegant waltz.

Kylo would never say it, but his heart rate was steadily increasing as his steps brought him closer and closer to his living room. To her. Until it all but stopped as soon as he stood at the threshold.

She was kneeling on the plush carpet, just as he had told her to do - _no surprise there._ And she was, in fact, bared to him. It was the first time he was gifted the opportunity to see all of her. Her hips were full, her stomach soft, her thighs looking so plump that Kylo wanted to sink his teeth into them. She was remarkable. His breath caught in his throat when she boldly looked up at him.

He hummed in light admonishment. “Eyes down, baby.” He stepped closer to her until he stood strong behind her sunken form. As gentle as he could manage, as if she would crumble beneath his fingers, he gathered her hair that had fallen in a curtain around her face.

With practiced digits, he worked at containing it. He remembered how it had looked the day he first laid eyes on her. It had been raining, and the strands were dark and damp, pulled together carelessly and pinned to the back of her head. Just as beautiful as it was now.

It felt silky soft, and he felt warmth ignite in his belly. She didn’t flinch when he touched her this time. She was trusting him here, in this moment. The gift was not lost on Kylo as he tied her hair back.

“No hiding,” He explained his actions and circled her again, like a predator stalking prey. He finally allowed his eyes to take in her breasts and he felt the hardening of flesh in his trousers. She was the embodiment of femininity. Contrary to the position in which she waited patiently, she looked _fierce._ She shifted slightly under his unrelenting gaze.

She was unpracticed in the art of kneeling and was growing uncomfortable as her legs fell asleep under her. Kylo spoke again, and this time, he could watch as her head turned just slightly as if to hear him better.

“Look at you. Kneeling still at my feet even though it has grown difficult to remain posed as you are.” He smiled as her skin blossomed a shade of pink. “Such a good girl.”

His hand reached into his pocket and fingered the item he had retrieved, playing with it. His other hand sought her chin and lifted her gaze to his own. She smiled shyly.

“How are you feeling?” His question was sincere.

“Good, sir.” Her voice was laced with palpable need and anticipation, and he ran his thumb over her lower lip.

“Can you place a little more trust in me? I promise I won’t do anything that will harm you or make this unpleasant in any way.”

Immediately, she nodded. A weight lifted from his shoulders. She was trying, and so was he. Both parties making a conscious effort to rid their minds of the memory of his previous sins.

“Thank you. Close your eyes.”

When she obeyed, he released her, and his hand brought the secret object out of his pocket. A tie. He stepped behind her and held the length of material between his two hands until it was stretched out straight.

In a moment, he had lowered it to her eyes and allowed it to touch her as he pulled the ends together behind her head. The realization of what it was must have dawned on her, and he heard her release a shaky breath.

The makeshift blindfold would allow her to feel every one of his touches more intensely. A secret trick he was sure she wouldn’t know. It would make her other senses heightened. Her skin would be more sensitive, her ears would hear the grunts of effort he would release as his skin stunned hers.

“Give me your hand.”

She held it out awkwardly behind her, silently reaching for where she thought his hand would meet hers, and he smiled. She was eager.

He clasped it, maneuvering around her once more - in their waltz - as he coaxed her up to her feet. He then took a few steps to the couch, lowering himself down onto the plush surface before tugging her over his sturdy legs.

The moment had finally come. Her body moved as he wished with little difficulty as she surrendered to his guidance. Before long she was perfectly balanced over his knee, his other leg holding hers in place as his hands moved to stroke her back gently.

His hands worked to ease the tension from her shoulders and the back of her neck. Quietly soothing the evidence of nerves from her body. She moaned lightly as he massaged her.

“Your safe word is ‘Ren’. If at any time, you want me to stop, say it and I will. Unless you say your safe word, I will continue. Do you understand?” He needed to remind her that it was _her_ that remained in charge.

“Yes, sir.” It was automatic, but he knew he could trust her judgement.

His desire was approaching impossible levels and his mouth ran dry as he palmed her flesh. Her ass was thick, and he knew it would be like striking a feather pillow. He couldn’t wait to see how her body jerked and shivered. He definitely couldn’t wait to see it welt.

He rubbed his intended target area a few more times, transferring some heat to her skin. As he did, he noticed how small goosebumps erupted all over. Kylo Ren suddenly felt sadistic. He had to tread with caution, but he knew what she wanted. What she _really_ wanted.

“Tell me what you want, baby.” His tone was daring.

Silence. His little lamb had grown shy under the lion’s touch. He smirked. He wouldn’t repeat himself, and he waited.

A beat.

Finally, she spoke. “I want you to spank me, sir.”

He could have laughed at her willingness to obey. Without warning, he gave her a lazy strike. Landing on her right cheek, the sound echoed off the walls, as did her yelp of surprise.

His hand soothed the sting away, lightly running his palm over the quickly developing red handprint. He made no moves to strike her again. He wanted to see if she understood his unspoken command.

“Again, sir, please.” Her voice had grown thick with lust.

Again, he obeyed. He brought his palm down on the opposite side - but this time - he didn’t stop. He shot off three quick strikes in succession, alternating each time as to not hit the same spot twice.

The moans that came from her were divine. Kylo felt himself getting high off of her endorphins. He basked in the moment.

Then she did something that surprised him. She pushed her ass out, wiggling in his lap. She was trying to rub herself against his leg. How cute.

Her hands came behind her and rubbed at her sore skin, and he was quick to stop the motion. He pinned her wrists in one hand and held them firmly against her back. “Tsk... naughty little thing you are. Humping sir’s thigh.”

She whined. Caught red-handed.

He spanked her again. Three more times. Seven strikes and her bottom was hot beneath his hands. Broken blood vessels littered her otherwise perfect complexion, and he smirked.

She wiggled as his touch left her, bar for the hand that pinned her down. Once again, her hips rutted against his thigh. _Jesus fuck._ He imagined his cock sinking into her sweet folds and nearly convulsed. How tight she would feel around him.

He suddenly wished he was naked too, flesh against flesh. He ached to be as close to her as possible. Boldly, he let go of her wrists and pulled her cheeks apart, spreading her open to his inspecting gaze.

She only let out a small whimper of protest. Her need was apparent - shining in the room's light. It coated the tops of her thighs and it looked so tempting. He just had to touch it.

His fingers gathered the dew onto them, and it was his turn to groan. Just as tortured as she was by his feral need. “Poor thing is so _wet._ Do you need something else, baby?”

He prayed silently she would take his dare.

“Yes, sir.” It was a pitiful, frustrated whine.

Kylo was too far gone, drunk on his sadism and her surrender. He wasn’t thinking as he sunk a finger to its hilt into her hot cunt.

“Fuck,” he cursed. “So wet for me already, and I’ve barely touched you.” She moaned and thrust backwards, a shameless attempt to fuck herself on his finger.

His free hand spanked her as soon as she did it, and he closed his eyes as he felt her body tense around him. Clenching around his finger as the pain radiated through her.

Kylo withdrew from her in an instant, and when she protested, he rewarded her with another harsh smack. He needed more. More of her pleasure, more of her moans, just more.

He pulled on her hair and forced her up off his lap, before shifting under her so she was sitting on him. Splayed out. Her naked back against his powerful chest. He whispered in her ear.

“Do you want _daddy_ to take care of you, baby?”

She nodded dumbly, lost in the torture that was her emptiness. “Please... please daddy.”

He didn’t hesitate. He pressed his finger against her core again, sliding his way into her virgin entrance. He could feel the wall of resistance and he licked a line up her neck. “Who knew a virgin could be such a dirty slut, hm?” He mocked her. As he spoke, his thumb found her clit, and he pressed on it ruthlessly, rubbing it in small circles.

She bucked in his lap. Feverishly, her hips moved as she carelessly chased the sensation. Kylo growled in her ear and gripped her hip. “Take it.”

A whimper bubbled from her throat and he immediately rewarded her as she stopped her hips from moving.

“There’s my good girl. Just let me take care of you.”

He expertly worked her over, and she moved more gently in his hold now. Her hips pressing up to meet his hand as he slowly coaxed her orgasm to the brink of achievement.

She tightened around him again, and he knew she was right on the verge. He stopped, removing his thumb from her clit as his fingertips still brushed at the sensitive spot inside of her.

She protested, a frustrated grunt. “It hurts-“

Kylo kissed the side of her neck, allowing his teeth to drag along the muscle. “Shh... baby... daddy likes it when it hurts.”

Normally, he wasn’t a _“daddy”_ kind of Dominant. But how could he not be now, with the sweet little girl in his lap? So innocent with pouting lips and wide eyes.

_God, her lips._ He shut his eyes, imagining how they would feel against his own. He longed to kiss her; he wanted to taste her tongue and feast on her breath. His cock strained, and he knew she could feel it pressing into the curve of her back. _So soft around my cock._

Only this wasn’t about him - or his cock - it was about her. When she cried again with need, he did her bidding. His thumb connected to the slick nub again.

He was relentless. His hand traveled from her thrusting hip and kneaded the flesh of her breast. It was more than a handful and he groaned against her ear. “You’re so beautiful.” It wasn’t a lie. His fingers tweaked her nipple.

“I’m going to- “She started and Kylo pulled his finger from her core - delivering a harsh slap directly to her clit.

“Don’t fucking cum until I tell you.”

As if nothing had happened, he slipped inside again and returned to his job at hand. Literally. He sucked an angry welt into her neck and when he felt the tensing of her core around him once again, he knew the time had come.

“Cum for me, baby. Cum on my finger.” As the command left his lips, he left her breast and wrapped his free hand around her slim neck. It fit perfectly around her and he could feel the rapid beating of her heart under the tips of his fingers. If only she could feel that his heart was doing the same.

She didn’t need to be told twice and was soon cumming with a borderline shriek of ecstasy. Her hips didn’t stop, and neither did his thumb as he touched her until the pulsating slowed to an eventual halt. He had taken every single second of her pleasure mercilessly.

His hand relaxed around her neck, and he cooed. “My good girl.” She hummed in response - completely fucked out despite him barely doing more than lifting a finger.

She went heavy in his hold and he was happy to cuddle her close, allowing her to pull whatever comfort she needed from him as he withdrew the digit from her - now dripping - heat.

Without asking, she reached for his hand and Kylo could have sworn his heart did a backflip as she popped the finger into her mouth. Lapping at it like a kitten. Her mouth vibrated as she groaned, marveling at the taste of her own release.

“So fucking dirty.” Kylo whispered, his head twisting just slightly to kiss her temple. “You did so good for me.” He praised. With a swift movement of his _clean_ fingers, Kylo undid the knot that held the tie over her eyes, tossing it to the side without thought as to where it landed.

His heart was struggling to understand how someone so untarnished and _good_ could even allow someone like him to touch her at all. What could she see in someone like him?

Without warning, she turned around in his hold. She clung to him like a child and when the wetness seeped through his shirt - he realized she was crying. His hands rubbed her back, before wrapping around her to hold her form to his chest.

Little did she know that Kylo was clinging to her too.

-

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note:
> 
> How y'all doin? I told you I would make up for the cliffhanger! 
> 
> Seriously, I am so thankful to you guys for keeping up with this and for all your support - I wouldn't be able to satisfy my own filthy fantasies without you!
> 
> Be safe! xx


	13. Kitten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: food aversion (skip guides included), food play, more light smut. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Kylo Ren had returned to your life in a brilliant flash of lightning. At the current moment, you were sitting on the counter in his kitchen - swinging your legs as you watched him cook.

When your senses had returned to you, he had dressed you in another article of his clothing. A button down shirt that was comically large on your much shorter frame. You had also opted to tug on your previously worn panties in an attempt to regain a sense of balance between the two of you.

Kylo seemed to orbit around you as he cooked. His task of preparing your dinner never allowing him to be out of your reach. Or maybe it was the other way around.

Fifteen buttons. You had fifteen buttons at the end of it all. By your count, anyway. Fifteen questions you could ask him. Fifteen answers you could pay for. You were giddy.

Kylo paused what he was doing and peered over at you. A smile danced just behind his eyes and you grinned, your hands gesturing for him. It was so... domestic. Easy.

He settled between your legs and leaned in close to you. In a gentle show of affection, his nose ran along the length of yours.

"What's for dinner?" You asked, heat pooling at your center as his hands rested over your pillowy thighs.

He chuckled, and his eyes darkened. He dragged his lips against your skin until you felt his breath against your ear. The hairs on your neck strained to attention.

"I think you should be more concerned with what's for dessert."

You gulped. He wasn't done with you.Not by a long shot.

-

-

Dinner was served in the dining room. Somehow, the pile of buttons had been cleaned and stowed somewhere out of sight - though your jar remained. You examined the fifteen that sat at the bottom.

You wondered if it was Vicrul who had uncluttered the otherwise tidy room. If he had, did he also know what had happened on the couch as a result of the mess he cleaned? You really hoped he didn't.

Kylo had set a porcelain bowl in front of you that contained a healthy portion of pasta. The noodles were coated in a sunset colored sauce and the entire dish was sprinkled with fresh basil. It smelled incredible and your stomach growled. This was definitely better than cafeteria mush.

You waited for him to uncork a fresh bottle of wine - that you were sure paired perfectly with the meal he had prepared - until you picked up your fork and pushed the meal around in your bowl.

(CW SKIP START)

Kylo took several bites and downed a sip of wine before you had raised your fork to your lips to do the same.

"Is something wrong with your dinner?" He questioned you.

"No, it looks delicious. Thank you, for cooking, I mean."

"It tastes better than it looks. Eat." He wasn't going to back down.

You reached for your own glass of wine and swallowed a generous gulp before finally allowing yourself the decadent meal. You had more than earned it.

(CW SKIP END)

The rich flavor exploded on your tongue in a firework-like eruption. The distinctness of fresh tomatoes and cream coming together in perfect harmony. You recognized the subtle vodka taste too. You immediately took another bite.

Kylo seemed pleased and nursed his own portion. The fork looked dainty in his hands and you caught yourself watching him eat as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

"You're staring, pet." There was no trace of annoyance in his tone.

"Yep." You said with a playful grin.

"Why?" He took a sip from his glass and lowered the goblet to look at you incredulously.

"Because you're...pretty. I don't know. I like watching you do things."

His eyes swam with something you recognized and you shifted in your seat. Your heat throbbing at the implication of his gaze.

"I'm ... pretty?" He repeated your words, rolling them off his tongue.

Oh. He wasn't going to just let you off the hook, then.

You stuffed more pasta into your mouth to avoid having to answer him, and he seemed to allow you to dodge the question - not pushing you further. You couldn't be sure if it was the wine or not, but his cheeks were just noticeablypink.

The rest of the meal passed in comfortable silence until both bowls sat empty on the table between you.The dining room table was the size of one you'd find in large family's home with eight chairs lining it. Your jar sat at the opposite end and it felt like another presence in the room.

"I have a question." You announced.

Kylo looked at you and raised a brow, his hand held out expectantly.

He wanted to play. You stretched out over the table like a lithe cat, extending your arms in search of the jar. Kylo's shirt moved upwards to expose your still red bottom as your body pressed against the table. It would have been just as easy to stand up and walk around, but this seemed more fun.

You were right. When your eyes returned to Kylo's, he was staring at you with his mouth hanging open slightly. A look you were coming to recognize.

Kylo Ren was thinking about fucking you right here on the dining room table - when his staff was probably just in ear shot. The thought made your toes curl.

You plucked a button from the bottom and slid it over to him before your fingers found the stem of your glass and brought it to your lips as you finished your wine off.

He glanced at the marbled button between you and nodded his head. "Go on then."

"How did you know where I was... the night of the party?"

Immediately, Kylo shifted. As if the answer was indicative of his true nature or something he wasn't sure if he could reveal or not.

Without further prompting, you quickly added another button to the pile.

This seemed to do the trick and Kylo swiped the payment and tucked them away in his pocket for safe keeping. "Your watch. It has a GPS locator in it."

You expected something like that but the truth of it still made your breath falter. "You tracked me?" He nodded.

"I was worried. I wont apologize."

You weren't expecting him to. "Ok." What else was there to say? He had tracked you using a locator you definitely didn't consent to wearing, and he wasn't sorry about it.

"I will keep you safe." He promised.

You felt the urge to mention that the only time you had ever been in danger was with him - but you bit your tongue. The evening was going by smoothly, you were getting the answers you wanted (at a cost,) but you were being treated like a person instead of a pet. For now, anyway.

There was a short pause before you blurted out again. "I have another question." Your hand retrieved two more buttons and set them on the table. Eleven left.

Kylo shook his head with a smile as if to say you're insatiable and leaned forward, his head resting on his hands - propped up on his elbows.

"How did you know where I live?"

A beat. "Are you sure you want to waste your buttons on a question I've already answered?"

Oops. "Oh, right." You paused. "Who delivered the envelope?"

"Vicrul." He said simply.

"Oh." You replied. You hadn't really expected him to go into the cramped, dirty building anyway.

"You're disappointed?"

"No... Maybe a little." You finally admitted.

"Don't misunderstand me, baby, Vicrul not only delivered the letter but he also watched you nearly 24/7 for the days we spent apart. He kept me updated because I couldn't stop thinking about you - if you were ok or not."

Your heart thumped so loud you thought he would be able to hear it. Your skin flush with the warmth of understanding. He had been thinking about you, just as much as you had been thinking about him.

You suddenly felt too shy to continue and you were quiet. A subtle smell was coming from the kitchen that made your mouth water. Someone was making cookies.

Kylo must have smelled it too because he rose from the table and took the bowls with him as he followed the scent where it lead back to the kitchen. When you didn't immediately follow, he called over his shoulder. "Come."

-

-

On the counter was a plate of fresh, warm, chocolate chip cookies. They appeared homemade despite not a single dish in sight to reflect that someone had spent time making them. You hadn't heard any noise in the kitchen either. The staff really were like ghosts.

Daisy, who had been elusive up until now, nudged your hand with her nose in a persistent request for your attention. You didn't keep her waiting, your fingers stroking her thick coat. "I missed you," your voice was an octave higher than normal, and it made you feel silly.

Kylo took to petting her too and smiled. His eyes moving from her to you and then back to her. "I'm glad my girls get along." He stroked under the dog's chin as he spoke. "Go on, Daisy, give us some privacy."

Oh. Daisy complied with his request and was gone just as quick as she had arrived - off to do whatever it is dogs do when their owners have company.

Without warning, Kylo placed his hands over the expanse of your hips and hoisted you onto the counter. His eyes shimmering with mischief.

"Would you like some milk with your cookies, little girl?" His tone was growing dangerous.

Utterly bewitched, you nodded. "Yes daddy."

Two could play at this game.

As your legs dangle over the edge for the second time in the same evening - Kylo retrieves a carton of milk from the fridge. Only, he doesn't grab a glass. He sets it down next to you.

He smiled at you. It was sinful. "Will you trust me again? I'll give you twenty buttons if you just let me do what I want to do."

Holy shit. Twenty questions. 31 buttons, by your calculations. Gulping, you nodded.

"I want to kiss you." He murmured, his eyes catching yours in earnest.

"Kiss me." You finally said, unable to deny him for one more second.

He didn't need to be told twice, and soon his lips crashed against yours. It was not like any kiss you had ever had before. His lips were soft as they moved against your own and his hand rested at your neck. His thumb guiding your jaw as he coaxed your mouth open.

He tasted like fine wine and when you surrendered to the kiss, his tongue dipped into your mouth and ran against your teeth. He growled lowly. "You taste so delicious."

A whimper escaped your throat and your hands fisted in his shirt, wanting him closer, somehow.

What you hadn't noticed is that, during the heated make-out session, his other hand had skillfully unscrewed the lid of the carton of milk. He broke the kiss and his eyes met yours. "I think the little kitten needs a drink, don't you?"

Holy shit. You nodded feverishly, your mouth hanging open dumbly as you waited for him to give you a taste.

As soon as you bobbed your head, Kylo's hand fisted into your hair and yanked it down. Your head fell back awkwardly and you winced. Just expecting a drink- you left your mouth open.

Only Kylo was too eager to indulge your thirst. He passed the carton over your lips, watching as your tongue skidded over your lip to lick at what had been left behind. "Such a greedy little thing. You want more, baby?"

"Please, sir." You begged. Why the fuck was this so hot?

Kylo cursed under his breath and before you could react he was pouring milk into your waiting mouth. Only he didn't stop when you sputtered and struggled to swallow.

Milk cascaded down your face in pure white ribbons and drenched your borrowed shirt. It leaked over the entire front half of your body as he relentlessly dumped it into your mouth.

You gagged and struggled in his hold, your eyes screwing shut as he drowned you in the thick liquid. Your throat burned and your chest ached, your lungs becoming desperate for air. When you were sure you would succumb to the pulling blackness at the edges of your vision, Kylo stopped. The carton was nearly half empty and the majority of its contents were all over your front, dripping down onto the floor.

Kylo released your hair and pulled away from you. "Oh... my kitten has made a mess of herself now, hasn't she?" He taunted you clicking his tongue. "Whatever will I do with you."

Only he knew exactly what he would do with you.

His strong arms snaked underneath your parted thighs and pulled your ass to the very edge of the counter. On instinct, you leaned back on your elbows to balance yourself on the cliff.

Kylo was panting, and you could see the evidence of his own arousal in his pants. With effortless volatility, he tore apart the shirt you wore - his shirt. Buttons littered the floor as he ruined the article. He grunted. "Fuck."

Your body was slick with milk and sweat and you felt so sticky and gross - but the moment the man looked at you like you were the most divine creature on Earth - you blushed.

He hooked two fingers into the crotch of your panties while his hooded eyes devoured yours. The surge of cool air brushed against your thighs and exposed pussy. "I just need a taste," he whispered lowly.

Driven mad with lust, he dipped a finger into your milky center. He leaned forward, his tongue dragging along the slick folds.

The sensation was hot and foreign and you shivered under his ministrations. "Sir-" You protested shyly. No one had ever kissed you there before.

"Now now, kitten. Daddy is busy." He stroked your sweet spot as his lips closed around your clit. His finger hooked into you like you were a prized catch and you thrust your hips forward to meet him.

The shirt stuck to your body, despite it being torn apart and your nipples were hard - damp and exposed to the air.

Kylo reached for the milk carton again, reluctantly letting your panties cover you back up, though his finger remained in place inside your tight virgin cunt.

His finger worked inside of you, and your eyes closed. You dipped your head back and let out a feral moan as you allowed the sensation to take over. You rocked your hips again.

Kylo splashed ice-cold milk over your scorching heat and the contact made you breathless. You tried to move away from the intrusive force but you couldn't. He was everywhere. Dumping it over you, soaking the fabric that covered your core.

When the milk ran out, he threw the carton aside and it made you flinch. "Shh..." He cooed. His tongue lapping at your ruined panties. They were drenched with milk and your arousal and he couldn't resist. His mouth suckled at the fabric, running his tongue over it as he savored the delicious combination.

It was nearly enough to make you come undone. "Don't stop," you breathed. "please don't stop."

With a satisfied chuckle, he continued. Eventually, he tongue fucked your clit over the cloth and moved his finger inside of you at a sweet pace. You wouldn't have guessed a layer between his prodding tongue and your throbbing nub could feel so erotic.

You were shamelessly humping his face now, and your hands drew your knees against your chest, scared you might teeter off the edge - in more ways than one.

"Is my little girl gonna cum for me?" He tested, before returning to suck and nip lightly at your clit with his teeth. The drag of them only working to heighten your abundant pleasure.

"Not... until... you... say," You were gasping for breath, trying so hard to hold on.

Finally, Kylo had enough. He ripped your panties apart at the seams and discarded the tatters on the floor beneath him. His arms hooked under your legs again as he pulled you firmly against his mouth.

He needed more, so drunk on your cunt that the only noises he made were animalistic groans.

"Cum."

It was the only push you needed and, as his mouth sealed around your clit again - you thrashed underneath him. Your body felt like it was on fire and your moans were loud and untethered.

As usual, Kylo didn't stop until you were in tears. Forcing you to endure every ounce of your orgasm. Until it was painful to be touched at all. When he finally withdrew his coated finger, he made sure to look up at you as he sucked it into his own mouth.

His eyes closed at the taste and your cunt tightened in response. He was so fucking hot. It amazed you.

He wiped his mouth lazily on your thigh, his chin coated in dairy and lust. For the second time in one night, he had made you cum with absolutely no strings attached. No thoughts for himself or his own pleasure, despite his trousers tenting fiercely.

He moved over you, and kissed you so tenderly you thought your unshed tears would fall. His lips much gentler this time, he savored your responding peck. And you groaned at the taste of him on his lips.

When you had both recovered, Kylo started laughing and you sat up on the counter to look at him curiously. He cupped your neck and kissed your forehead, barely able to control the fit of giggles berating him.

"What is it?" You were shy, hoping it wasn't you he was laughing at.

"I'm just picturing Vicrul walking in on this mess." He reached for a cookie and held it out to you, and you graciously accepted it. It melted on your tongue and tasted like browned butter and sugar.

As you held it to your lips to take another bite, you laughed too. The two of you growing to cackle over the realization that you had dumped an entire carton of milk on the floor on purpose while lost in your fervor.

Kylo's arms rested on either side of you, bending at the elbows as he leaned in and bit at your cookie. How did he make something like eating a cookie so... sexual?

"Let's get you cleaned up."

-

-

You found yourself sitting in front of a much larger pile of buttons than you had earlier. It had nearly tripled in size in one afternoon. You considered yourself rich.

Kylo had stepped out to take an unexpected phone call and you could hear his elevated tone as he cursed at whoever was on the other end of the line. A shiver crept up your spine. As long as it's not me. You thought.

You pulled out your phone and sent Rey a quick "proof of life" text. You smiled when she replied almost immediately.

Cant wait to hear the details at lunch tomorrow!

You wouldn't be giving her details. Feeling positively chipper, you snapped a picture of the assortment of buttons before scooping them into the jar.

When Kylo returned, he seemed irritated and your heart stalled in your chest. You didn't know if his mood had soured beyond repair. He visibly released the tension in his jaw as his eyes found yours.

"At this rate, you'll be out of here by the end of the week. If I was smart I would be stingy." He contemplated, admiring the collection just as you had.

He still expects you to leave. The thought sent a twinge of pain tearing through your stomach, leaving it in knots. "I don't know, four hundred is a lot."

He offered you a small smile and sat across from you at the table again. "If I asked you to stay here tonight, would it cost me?"

A beat. "Depends."

He actually looked rueful. "On what?"

"On whether or not you'd answer another question - for free."Tit for tat.

His mood lightened and he smirked. "I'm impressed by your ability to haggle."

"What's in the wing thats "off-limits"?" You weren't wasting your shot.

He let out a breath. "Paradise."

You didn't know what he meant. "Can I see?"

"Soon."

You pouted and he responded by dragging his thumb over your lip. He dipped it into your mouth and ran the slightly salty pad over your tongue. You let him and eventually closed your lips around the digit. He shivered.

"Stay with me."

You nodded, surrendering to the request. Unsure of whether or not he meant tonight or always. In this moment, though, it would be a yes either way.

-

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note:
> 
> Hi guys! A shorter chapter today because I was super busy, but I still wanted to give you some time with Kylo hehe... 
> 
> Thank you so much for all your comments, and kudos! I love hearing how each update makes you feel! <3
> 
> Things are really getting started now, huh? 
> 
> be safe! xx


	14. A Bad Day

  
One thing was for sure, if things were going to continue in the way they had been - you needed to stay on top of your homework. The only way to do that was to cart your books over to Starkiller every day.

Kylo had given you two buttons for every night you had stayed over - though it was mostly just for show and you both noticed it. You would stay without the buttons.

Though, you never slept in his room, together. You always ended up in your room and woke alone. He never failed to lie next to you while you fell asleep, but every morning you opened your eyes to see that he had left you at some point in the night.

You felt a hand smack your arm.

“Hello... anybody home?” Finn’s hand waved in front of your face, and you shook yourself from the daydream.

“Sorry, guys, I didn’t sleep much last night.”

“Does it have anything to do with your boss?” Poe nudged you. “You have this aura about you lately.”

Strangely, you recognized what he meant. Since Kylo had come into your life, you felt lighter. Other than _that night_ , of course. Though you were sure nothing like that would ever happen again.

“I don’t know what you mean.” You lied. Poorly.

“If I find out you are fucking Kylo Ren, I am going to revoke your good girl card.”

_If only Kylo would revoke it first._ The thought appeared out of nowhere and you almost choked on your juice.

“It’s not like that.” You assured, and Rey had your back.

“Didn’t you guys say you had news?” She asked the pair sitting across from you.

The men glanced at each other and you waited as Poe actually blushed. “Oh, right.”

He could dish it out but couldn’t take it. Typical.

“We are uh...” Finn started, his voice trailing off.

“I fucking KNEW IT!” Rey exploded in a triumphant voice, all but whooping in glee as it dawned on her that the pair had finally made it official. After almost five years of subtle glances and secret dates.

“Finally!” You joined in the celebration and the rest of lunch was passed with the men filling you and Rey in on all the details. Really. _All of them._

At the end of the school day, Finn and Poe each took one of your arms in theirs, and the three of you walked to student parking. Rey had left nearly an hour earlier, dashing off to some protest that was being held in the city. _Such an activist._

“Are you going back over tonight?” Finn asked curiously, as the three of you walked linked together through the small courtyard in the school’s front.

Students were whirring by, all eager to get as far away from the academic prison as fast as possible. The three of you looked out of place, as the world seemed to zip around you.

“He’s picking me up, actually. He texted me earlier.” You replied, a warmth boiling under your skin as you thought about it.

_I am already missing you. Can I pick you up after class?_

You replied instantly with a resounding _yes_. Your heavy backpack served as a reminder, though, that the evening would not be filled with anything other than homework.

“What’s he really like?” Poe asked in earnest. He didn’t seem to like Kylo in account of the fact that the man had amassed an empire nearly overnight. Poe concluded that kind of wealth came with some dark secrets. Journalists sprinkled throughout Boston Times and other publishing houses had insinuated the same thing. _Power and wealth come at a cost._

“He’s... nice. I don’t know. He’s a busy guy who is lonely, I guess. I’m not sure I can say more than that. We don’t exactly know each other well.”

The men stopped and both of them gawked at you. Finn beat Poe to the punch, saying your name with a frown.

“You’re so secretive! You’ve been over there nearly every night - there has to be _something_ you can say about him at this point that isn’t a cleverly disguised side-step.”

You audibly sighed. It was difficult not knowing the exact boundary that the NDA began and your right to free speech ended. Maybe they would back down if they knew what position you were in. Rey would be furious - but she wasn’t here.

“I’m not supposed to talk about it, ok? He’s extremely careful. I signed some paperwork when I took the position, and I’m not supposed to talk about him or his personal life. I’m sorry.”

The look on their faces was somewhere between satisfaction and horror. While they finally knew the truth of your situation, they weren’t pleased with it. Truths were rarely a pretty thing, after all.

“Oh,” Poe said, scratching his head. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

A weight fell from your shoulders. “I’m fine, ok? He’s not a _monster_. Don’t trust everything you read.”

The men seemed settled, for now, and said sincere goodbyes as they headed towards the overcrowded parking lot.

Not really sure how to feel, you sat down on a bench near the lot and waited. Kylo had said he would be there at the time your classes ended, but was so far a half hour behind.

Finally, an hour after your last class had let out, a familiar black town car pulled up to the curb. The day was quickly turning to the evening, and the snow had been falling around you as you waited for what you weren’t sure was still coming.

The window whirred down and Vicrul waved before stepping out to get your door. Even in what was becoming a blizzard, he still behaved like the perfect gentleman.

“Master Ren sends his apologies, something came up.” Vicrul spoke when you both had settled into the warmth of the car. The backseat was luxurious leather, and the cushion was heated. You felt the heat seep into your chilled skin and rested your head back.

“Oh, that’s ok.” You replied. “Thank you for still picking me up.”

“Of course, miss.” Vicrul handled the car with ease and clear experience as he navigated through the snowy roads.

“Hey, Vicrul?”

“Yes, miss?” He never failed to use your last name, and part of you wished he would be a little less formal.

“How long have you worked for Kylo?” Would he answer your curiosities?

“I’ve known him all my life. I’ve worked for him for many years, now.” He responded. It was a crafted reply. It didn’t give away much of anything, honestly.

“What was he like when you were younger?” You couldn’t help it.

Vicrul glanced at you in the rear-view mirror and you observed his fingers flex on the cushioned wheel. “Kylo Ren has always been a good man, miss. Even before he was a man.”

Another crafted answer. Vicrul knew what you were up to. He wasn’t about to gossip about the man who had put a roof over his head.

You didn’t reply and instead leaned your head back again and shut your eyes. The snow muffled the noise outside the vehicle and the world fell away in a monotonous hum as you shut your eyes and waited to arrive at the estate.

-

-

When you arrived, Kylo was nowhere to be found. Vicrul was the one to take your coat and hang it in the closet, as well as the one to ask you if you’d like a warm beverage.

“Master Ren is still caught up in his affairs, you’re welcome to make yourself at home. Can I get you something to drink, that may offer you some warmth?”

You shook your head. “No, thank you.”

“As you wish. Let me know if you need anything.” And he was gone.

You said a swift hello to Daisy, your hands rubbing over her tummy as she wiggled under your touch. The way she greeted you like one of the family made your heart swell. _My girls._

Your gaze caught on your jar, sat proudly like an odd centerpiece on the dining room table. A closer inspection and you spotted something new had been added. A set of buttons that all looked the same. The only kind alike.

Recognition dawned on you, and your cheeks erupted in heat. The buttons from the shirt. Feeling positively embarrassed, you picked the jar up and shook it - disguising the family.

It turns out you’d be doing homework, after all. Though, you could faintly make out Kylo’s voice from somewhere in the house near the dining room. The tether between you was encouraging you to follow the sound of his voice, but you resisted, settling into the chair and sticking your nose to the grindstone.

After some time, the roaring fireplace had dried you out, and you felt thirsty. A quick glance around let you know you were alone. Why did you assume you would see Vicrul just standing out of sight? You wandered to the kitchen in search of something to quench the growing thirst.

Upon opening the fridge, the _second_ fridge - for humans - you found it stocked with the basics that anyone would want. However, you also noted how some of your _favorites_ were present, too. Was it just a coincidence? Sure, you had said things like ‘oh i love that yogurt!’ while having conversations with Kylo - usually at night - but it’s not like you gave him a list.

Your toes curled, and your heart soared. He’d really been listening. _Or it’s just a coincidence._ Your subconscious warned. You frowned and retrieved a taller glass bottle of water from a neat grouping and shut the door. Back to work.

Only, as you turned around, Kylo was standing there. Leaning against the doorframe. Something he apparently liked to do. As usual, you jumped.

“KYLO!” You yelped. “You have _got_ to stop doing that!” But you couldn’t be angry, you laughed.

Mirroring your laugh, he chuckled. “Hi, button.”

_Button._ Your nose wrinkled and before you could ask him to explain the nickname, he strode over to you to kiss your forehead.

“I’m sorry I kept you waiting.”

“I think I can let it go... but I may need a little convincing.”

His eyes darkened, and he didn’t fail to capture your hidden meaning. His hand made a move for the delicate bottle in your grip and he took it from you, setting it down on the countertop.

What happened next happened so quickly you weren’t even sure how. His hands found your hips, and he had pushed you against the fridge. The contents shaking inside. His lips found yours and he cupped a hand behind your head. _No escaping._

Fairly in tune with him by now, you kissed him back with familiarity. Your mouth opening under his, allowing his tongue to dance with yours. He groaned at the taste and your core grew damp.

After what could’ve been a few minutes, or an hour, he tore his lips from yours. Your fingers had entangled in his hair during the heated exchange and it was sticking out in spots all over his head.

You giggled shyly when he remained staring at you, as he had.

“Did you see your new buttons?”

Why did he have to bring that up? “Yes. Thank you.”

“Why are you thanking me?” He had stepped away from you, and you had opened the bottle to drink as he spoke.

“I think they might be favorite.”

“Oh? Is that why you hid them?”

You shoved at him playfully. “I panicked ok.”

He laughed again, and any tension that had built up in his shoulders and posture from the work he had been _handling_ dissipated.

“It was cute.” He reached for your hand and you surrendered it, your palm feeling warm against his. He swallowed your hand as he closed his fingers around it and tugged you lazily. “Come.”

Excitement danced through you and you followed obediently, your mind racing with possibility. He led you down the hallway and to _your_ bedroom. When he opened the door, you gasped.

He had replaced the bland decor with items in the same style as your current dwelling. The fact that he had never been there didn’t dawn on you, you were too shocked. The furniture was bold, as was the color of the walls. It looked _hippy chic_ and entirely out of place in his modern home.

“Check the closet.” He urged, letting go of your hand as you sought the walk-in.

You pushed the door open to find a fully stocked wardrobe. The tags dangled off every article, and your fingers ran over the different textures and fabrics. All of it was ghastly expensive, and you tried to swallow the refusal of his generosity.

Most notably in the collection, aside from the gowns - which you had absolutely no use for - was the _vast assortment_ of scrubs. They were in a rainbow of colors, and all a soft material. You recognized the brand and gawked. You’d been trying to save up for a single pair of them for almost a month, and now you had over ten full sets.

“Kylo...” You started.

“Please. I can’t expect you to pack your belongings into your backpack and carry them around all the time, can I?”

He had a point. You had been so back and forth that you developed a habit of always having clothes and overnight essentials in your bag at all times. On top of the textbooks and growing pile of homework, it was getting difficult to manage.

“That’s very thoughtful. Thank you.” You would battle him about the unnecessary pieces in time, but for now, you didn’t fight as he wrapped his arms around you from behind and kissed your head.

“Good girl. I had to guess the sizes, so let me know if something doesn’t fit right.”

Truthfully, your heart hadn’t stopped doing backflips since you saw the bedspread. This was unlike anything anyone had ever done for you - and he did it so nonchalantly. The fridge, your bedroom, a full closet - it was all too much.

You felt wetness drip down onto your collarbone and swiped at your cheek with the back of your hand. You were crying, and you hadn’t realized.

Kylo didn’t ignore your sniffles and turned you in his hold. “Why are you crying?” His eyes were warm, and you wanted to fall into the depth of them and let it envelope you.

“This is... a lot. I don’t know what to say.” You looked down pathetically at your feet. Your scrubs were wrinkled and bunched from the wear and you knew you looked out of place amongst the fancy garments now hung in _your_ closet.

“They’re just clothes, ok? No strings. I want you to feel at home when you’re here. Comfortable.”

You nodded, and your crying eventually subsided. You sniffled again. Mustering a grin, you looked over at the gowns. “I have no need for those.” You kept your tone light.

“Then I will create a need for them. How does tomorrow sound? I’ll even throw in some buttons.”

You felt giddy. It wasn’t the response you had expected but when did Kylo ever do anything expected these days. “What do you mean?”

“I want to take you on a date. Somewhere where you can dress up. Say yes, please say yes. I’m tired of keeping you cooped up here all the time. I want people to see you on my arm and feel jealousy that they don’t have the honor.”

_What the fuck_. “Yes.” It was all you could say without blubbering like a baby again.

With ease, he picked you up and spun you once, setting you back on your feet. “Good. I’ll make it a night to remember.”

You didn’t doubt it.

-

-

The day seemed to drag by. Every hour seemed to feast on the remnants of your attention span as you found your mind wandering to what the night held. You couldn’t exactly picture it, though. Only comparing it to what you had seen in movies, you imagined yourself in an expensive-looking dress, with shoes to match, hanging off the arm of Kylo Ren.

Finn and Poe hadn’t asked what had you so excited and impatient for the day to end - now having the full picture. You were sure they suspected it had something to do with your _boss_ because you had volunteered no information on your own. Just that you were excited about something happening after class.

Rey, however, was relentless.

“Honestly, you keep so many secrets these days! Are you stripping or something, because if you are, I wouldn’t judge you-“

“Rey, _please._ “ You pleaded. “Stop trying to guess. I have a date, ok?”

This shut her up for exactly one second before she jumped right back in to the inquisition. “With whom? Where? What are going to wear? Do you need to borrow something? I can do your hair!”

You stopped listening, shaking your head with a laugh. Rey meant so well, and you knew that, but was it really so exciting that you were going on a date?

_Maybe_. You thought. _You haven’t been on a date in the entire time they have known you._ Ok. So it was your _first_ date, but was it really that big of a deal? It’s not like you hadn’t been out to eat with someone here and there - but it never had a label. Did a label really make a difference?

The answer was yes. A label changes everything. A _date_ with your _boss_ could change everything. You gulped.

Rey grew increasingly frustrated as you dodged question after question and after you said you had an outfit already in mind she gave up.

“Fine, don’t tell me. Text me after and let me know you’re alive, though? I have a rally after class, but I’ll be around if you need a rescue.”

That warmed your cold shoulder, and you nodded. “Thank you, Rey. Don’t be mad at me.”

She smiled. “Never.”

Classes crawled to the finish line, and shortly after the last lecture had concluded Rey dashed out to her rally. Leaving you, Finn, and Poe alone to exit the building together. It was becoming the standard.

Rey never talked about what her rallies were about, maybe out of fear that we would encourage her to stay home instead of risking her own safety to protest whatever she was protesting. Rey was a fighter, and you understood that. She had little to no regard for her own safety, as long as she was advocating for someone else - she was happy.

Finn had deduced it was a political cause. “A Senator, I think.” As someone who never paid attention to the news or politics, you shrugged.

“I read that too.” Poe interjected. “Isn’t he making a push for an election campaign?”

You tuned them out as they delved into the specifics, recalling the things they had seen on social media regarding the affair. Maybe ignorance _was_ bliss. All you had ever wanted to do was keep your head down and study, do what you needed to do until you could help people in the only way you knew how.

-

-

**(KYLO POV)**

Kylo pulled up the tracker app on his phone and waited desperately for the information to populate. Word was spreading of the protests happening tonight, close to _her_ campus, and he was panicking.

If anyone in the area saw her, Kylo was sure she would be in danger. What better way to get rid of a _problem_ than in the chaos of a mass protest?

**Location Unavailable**.

_No, no, no... shit_. Kylo refreshed more times than he could count and eventually grew so frustrated he slammed the device against the wall. He repeated his attack until it was smashed to bits, peppering the tile of the elevator.

His car didn’t seem to go fast enough as he drove dangerously over the speed limit. _Fuck a ticket. Have to get to her, have to make sure she is safe, have to make sure, have to protect her, can’t lose her, I have to—_

A honk from a semi pulled Kylo from the chaos spiraling in his mind and he quickly swerved out of the way. He had drifted off into the truck lane.

The University of Boston was huge, but Kylo knew her department and where she usually was at the current hour. It’s not like he checked the tracker app often enough to memorize her schedule — but he wasn’t saying he didn’t, either.

By some miracle, he spotted her. The Tesla roared as he slammed on the accelerator. On either side of her were two men, holding her arms, and Kylo blacked out.

The next thing he remembered was several shouts and the tires coming to a screeching halt as he parked halfway up the sidewalk. He had stopped less than a foot from where she stood.

The laugh that was on her lips shriveled and died and was quickly replaced by concern as she wrenched her hands free of the men. Only, she didn’t look pleased to see Kylo at all. _I’m rescuing you._

Kylo’s logical brain kicked back in when he heard her voice, and he tore his gaze from hers to the men beside her. He recognized them faintly from the party he had shown up to - also violently and unannounced. Something she still hadn’t forgiven him for.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? You could have killed someone!” The man with the curly hair stepped forward and Kylo watched - stunned - as he came right towards him like he fully intended to lunge at Kylo’s face with a skilled punch.

“I- I’m sorry-“ Kylo blurted out, and the other man stepped forward, pulling the other back to stop his attack.

When she finally spoke, Kylo felt a blossoming of warmth in his chest and he seemed to return to his senses - mostly. _She’s ok. Furious. But ok._

He let out a sigh of relief and not two seconds later - her hand collided with his face. “I swear to god you better have a good explanation for this Kylo or you’ll never see me again-“

The other men stood back, the curly-haired one smirking at Kylo as he took the hit with zero protest. He hadn’t even registered the pain as relief continued to flood his system.

“I... where’s your watch?”

Pure rage roared from her chest as she pushed him. “Now is not the time for that! Explain yourself!”

Kylo couldn’t help but smile, and he pulled her in for a very unwelcome hug. It seemed to thaw the arctic tundra between them, if only slightly.

“Please.” She searched his eyes. “Please explain.”

“You do not understand how scared I was. I thought something had happened to you.” His voice was quiet - cautious of the crowd that was lingering to watch the scene unfold. “Please come with me. I won’t hurt you. I’m so sorry.”

Surprisingly, she obeyed. Kylo waited as she talked her friends down and climbed into his car on her own. In no time at all, they were pulling away from the tire-streaked curb.

“Take me home.”

The words sliced through him, leaving him bloody and wounded. “What?”

“Take me home, Kylo. I don’t want to be around you if you can’t even tell me what the hell is going on.” Her tone was dejected and her gaze remained on the window.

He gripped the wheel with white-knuckled force and tried to keep his breathing steady. “The rally.” He started mulling over his words before he spoke them. “It’s going to be packed and dangerous, and I was worried. It’s close to your campus.”

She finally turned to look at him. “Why were you worried about some political protest?”

His jaw flexed. “I wasn’t until I checked your location to see where exactly I needed to pick you up and couldn’t see it. It just said unavailable, and I panicked.”

It wasn’t a lie.

“Kylo...” Her tone had softened. “Why didn’t you just call?”

“I didn’t think. I reacted. I’m sorry. I’ll just take you home.”

An audible sigh fell from her lips, and Kylo thought he was dreaming when he felt her warm hand rest on top of his. “I won’t forget my watch again. I’m sorry.”

-

-

Nothing else was said on the car ride to your apartment. Kylo had turned his palm up and allowed you to tangle your fingers as he drove in a silent peace offering.

You couldn’t understand the severity of his actions. When you saw his face as he nearly ran people over to get to you - he had looked so different. He was panting like a man crazed, his eyes blown out and black like he didn’t even realize what was happening around him. He looked _terrifying_ and _terrified_ at the same time. It wasn’t a look that would leave you anytime soon.

When he parked along the sidewalk, he pulled his phone from his pocket and sent off a text. For some reason, you felt guilty. _Probably cancelling the dinner plans._ You just weren’t up for parading on the town tonight, anymore.

However, you didn’t want him to go. When he stayed in the car as you climbed out, you paused. “You’re not coming up?”

A beat. “I didn’t think you’d want me to.”

_Oh, Kylo._ He was punishing himself more than you had ever intended him to. Your forehead wrinkled, and you dropped your bag before walking around to the driver side door. You tugged it open. A silent request. _Come with me._

He looked _sad,_ but he offered no protest as he clambered out. His body seeming too large for even the car. He scooped your heavy bag up with apparent strength and remained quiet, his gaze never finding yours.

This was worse than being iced out. He was spiraling and shutting down before you, and you couldn’t stop it. _That’s what happens when you yell at someone and slap them._

He opened the door for you and the two of you breezed past the restaurant before climbing the stairs to your apartment. Only, you stopped dead in your tracks and he bumped into you. He hadn’t even seen you stop.

“What the fuck.” Your voice grew thick with tears immediately, and your body sagged against the wall. “What did I do?” Now it was your turn to spiral. For on your front door, a spectacular contrast to the chipped white paint, was a paper headed in bold red text.

**EVICTION NOTICE.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors's Note:
> 
> Hey guys! Thanks for giving me a few to catch my breath and get back on track. I am using an adaptive editing software that I just got for this chapter, since I don't have a proof-reader - so hopefully less grammatical errors from here on out!
> 
> Thank you for continued support and patience!
> 
> Be safe! xx


	15. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: angst, hurt/comfort, light smut, EMOTIONS.

**EVICTION NOTICE**

**Dear Tenant,**

**You are hereby given an eviction notice and notice to vacate the premises within: 3 DAYS.**

**The reason for this eviction notice is:**

**(X) The unit has been acquired outright.**

You weren’t certain how much more the universe had expected you to take. It was all too much. In the time that Kylo Ren had entered into your life, it seemed as if everything had turned on its head. Your grades were stumbling, despite all of your intentions to put in time to study and make up for the time you had missed. On top of that, your friendships were under pressure - notably after whatever the fuck had just happened.

Today was supposed to be a perfect day. A night, you were wishing, would solidify Kylo’s place in your life. How were you supposed to deal with his hysterical frenzy that took place in front of everybody you knew? How would you justify why _Kylo Ren, Business Mogul_ was showing up to practically run you over like a bug on the pavement of your campus?

Not to mention the matter that you’d be sleeping on similar sidewalks by the end of the week.

“I need to call Rey.” You announced dully.

“May I come in?” Kylo’s voice sounded far away, but threaded with caution.

“Kylo...” Your heart twinged. Would building your walls up block him out permanently? Would the rejection of this moment ruin all the two of you had built so far? You left the door open behind you as a mute invitation and promptly walked into the stuffy studio apartment.

Suddenly, your chest felt cramped. The residence wasn’t much, sure, but it was the only home you ever knew. The only home that felt like home - even though it wasn’t much more than a closet that smelled like gyros.

Kylo loomed in the modest space, and you couldn’t bring yourself to look into his somber eyes as you sat down at your desk.

“I need to call Rey.” You repeated.

He nodded once, deliberately, and sat down at the table. He looked like giant now, in the dwarfed chair. Out of place. _Maybe he is out of place._ He put cordless earbuds in and you took that as a sign he was providing you some semblance of privacy.

Turning back to the desk, you hesitated. There was a significant chance that Rey would still be at the rally. You had to try, though.

After two rings, Rey picked up. You could hear the yells of protests faintly in the background and she sounded out of breath.

_“Are you okay?”_ Her accent wrapped you up in a familiar embrace and you exhaled. Tears appeared in your eyes almost instantaneously and you shook your head - even though she couldn’t see you do it.

“I got evicted. I only have a couple of days to move out.”

_“Shit. Do you know why? You know you can stay with me. I can leave the rally right now and we can pack your stuff up? I’ll bring wine.”_

There weren’t words to express how grateful you were for her. You peeked over your shoulder and found Kylo staring at his phone, appearing lost in his own work.

“Kylo is here.” You whispered.

_“Oh. Is he helping you pack, then? I can still come over. We could have you cleared out by tomorrow.”_

“I don’t think so. Let’s pack tomorrow? I’ll supply pizza.” You were already feeling better.

_“Are you still going on your date?”_ She sounded hopeful.

“Oh.” Another glance at Kylo. You rose from the desk and slipped into the bathroom, shutting the door. “No. I don’t think so.”

Rey picked up on your coyness. _“We will talk tomorrow, then?”_

A sigh of relief. “We will talk tomorrow. Oh, and Rey? Please don’t let Finn and Poe get to you first. Just let me explain.”

A beat. _“Oh, yeah, sure. I have about a dozen messages from them, but I promise I won’t do anything until I talk to you first. Are you ok? Really?”_

The tears were back. “I’ll be ok. I promise. Thank you for everything.”

-

-

**(KYLO POV)**

_For the second time in less than as many months, Kylo stepped out of the elevator at the top floor of First Order Holdings Inc. His heart was thumping in his chest and his fists shook with effort as he held on to the last fragments of his self-control._

_This was not going to be pleasant._

_“Apprentice.” Senator Snoke spat as soon as Kylo was close enough to hear him. “How regrettable that I am seeing you again so soon.”_

_Kylo bowed his head and sank himself into the chair across from his superior. The man responsible for every accomplishment Kylo had under his belt. The Master of Kylo’s legacy._

_“Sir-“ Kylo began and before he could say anything else, Snoke slammed an angry fist on the desk - stunning the younger into silence._

_“Unfortunately, it appears I will have to step in and deal with your nothing myself.” The Senator sounded disgusted, and his gangly fingers smoothed his temples as he spoke._

_Kylo knew better than to interrupt, despite the fear that clutched his heart. He knew Snoke was capable of staggering violence. He had witnessed it firsthand._

_"What do you have to say for yourself?”_

_Kylo’s voice finally found him again. “Let me handle it, sir. Allow me one more chance to prove myself to you.”_

_“I’m drained of chances. When the time comes, I will handle it. Get out. If I so much as see your face until you’re needed - I will handle with you too.”_

_It was all Kylo had in him to not retreat as quick as possible. When the time comes. His mind raced with possibility and he found his fingers frantically searching for his phone as he entered the elevator again._

_-_

_-_

When you stepped out of the bathroom, Kylo was sitting at your desk. When you saw what he was doing, your breath snagged.

He was lightly fingering through your artwork. Watercolors, specifically. You examined his reaction, his eyes never once leaving the small collection as his thumb passed over the texture.

“These are extraordinary.” He whispered your name. “I didn’t know you could paint.”

Your mind felt so heavy and fatigued, you weren’t up to the task of modesty. “Thank you.” You shifted awkwardly on your feet before electing to sit on the edge of the bed, tugging at your sleeves. _Who would shoot first?_

“Did you talk to Rey?” He had rounded the chair, facing the bed. You examined him again and noted he was nervously pulling on his fingers. At least, you suspected it was nerves.

“Yes. She is helping me move into her place tomorrow.”

Kylo froze. “What?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Her place? Would you rather me sleep on the streets of Boston?”

“No.” He paused, weighing over his next choice of words. “You essentially have an apartment of your own at Starkiller. Why wouldn’t you want to stay there?”

You bit back the first snarky remark that came to your mind and exhaled through your nose. Contemplative. Just like him.

“I’m not sure I want to continue whatever... this is. I am still waiting for you to explain what just happened, Kylo.”

Well. There it was.

You watched as the rejection sunk into his understanding. “You... don’t want... to see me? Please, just let me explain-“

You raised your hand, cutting him off. Something you had learned from him, actually.

“That’s not what I said. I _need_ you to explain. I haven’t decided anything yet.”

He relaxed, but only slightly. His jaw flexed and his eye twitched in that way you recognized when he was on edge. “I was just panicked, I told you already, ok? I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to you.”

Your heart thudded. “Why? Why, Kylo? What are we doing? I’m confused, I’m upset... I don’t know who you are or how you can be two different people depending on what day it is.” Oh no, the words were just pouring out now. “What do you want from me?”

Abruptly, Kylo stood. The chair made a sharp noise as it was driven backwards. You jumped, withering in place as if to avoid a blow. Kylo stopped instantly, his hands dropping from his hair and reaching out to you on instinct. When you flinched again, he lowered them like you had burned him.

“You really think I would hurt you?” It was his turn to fight back despair.

“I don’t know.” You replied softly, sitting up straight again.

He paced the space, his expensive shoes thumping on the wood. He looked pensive, his eyebrows gathered together as he caressed his jaw. He was clearly engaging in a battle you knew nothing about.

After a few wordless minutes elapsed, you spoke again. “I know you don’t _want_ to hurt me, but you scare me, Kylo.”

He rooted in place. “You’re scared of me.” He echoed.

“Yes.” Your voice was small.

He approached the bed and sat down in a rush, and you watched as he controlled his hands. They were raised, reaching out to you, but waiting for you to give the signal. When you nodded, they framed your face.

Kylo brushed a hair off your cheek that was stuck to the tears you hadn’t realized were flowing and tucked it behind your ear. Unbelievably, he was smiling.

“You silly girl.” His voice wasn’t condescending, but adoring. “I will never lay a hand on you again. Not without your permission. I promised you that.”

His words wiped away the last of your fortitude and you leaned into his caress. His thumb wiped at your hot tears and a pathetic sniffle shook you. “Tell me what’s going on.”

He looked anguished. “Button... I’m... I’m being torn apart. I can’t give you the answers you need. I can’t.”

“But why?”

“There’s so much you don’t know.”

“So tell me.” Your eyes searched his and your hand came to cup his face. His nostrils flared at your touch, not unlike his magnificent horse. Two creatures unsure of the safety of your presence.

“Don’t be afraid. I can’t take it.” His tone was thick, and his eyes slipped from yours.

You did the only thing that made sense. You kissed him. Not a sweet, gentle kiss, but something else entirely. Something that could convey how you felt because you knew you didn’t have the courage to say it yourself. It was in that moment that you understood you were only scared of one thing. Losing him.

He surged forward, kissing you with more intensity than he had allowed himself to portray and the two of you melded together, becoming one. The warmth seeped into your soul and wrapped around the fibers of your being, tangling you forever with him. There was no way you could go back to the way things had been.

Your logical brain kicked on, and you were forced to break the kiss. Your mouth was swollen and your lips puffy and he dragged his thumb across them.

“Kylo, please.”

This was the moment that your entire fate depended on.

He released his hold on you and his hands returned to his lap. He stared at them, and you felt him pulling away from you again. You couldn’t take it and placed a hand on his. You wouldn’t let him push you away, not now.

The minutes stretched on as you patiently waited. He was shaking. Maybe you both were. When he finally spoke, it was so quiet you strained to hear.

“I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.”

The fracture in your heart grew larger. “Let me help you, then. Is it Snoke? Do you know something about him that would make you believe the rally wouldn’t be safe?”

As the name _Snoke_ escaped your lips, he brought his eyes to yours and they gave you all the confirmation you needed. The flecks of gold sparkled in the deep mahogany, and you could sense every emotion swirling within them.

“Ok.” You couldn’t watch him suffer anymore. He had given you enough. “Ok.” You repeated.

“Ok?” He looked solemn.

“I don’t understand what made you do what you did - not entirely, but... I trust you. That’s enough for me.”

It was like a visible weight was lifted from him and he seemed lighter than air. “Really?”

“For now, yes.” You paused, considering. “Will you stay?” It was getting late, the sun had long fallen from the sky and the moon stood in its wake. The apartment had grown dark, and neither of you had made any move to turn on the lights. Things felt strangely safer in the dark.

Eventually, Kylo nodded. “Are you tired?”

In this moment, you weren’t. You wanted more of him. It was like you were afraid he would evaporate. You shook your head. “No.”

You saw the gleam of his smile in the dark, and the rest of the heaviness dissipated from his energy. “Well, in that case,” He paused, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out several buttons and you finally let out a sigh of laughter. Leaning over him, you clicked the bedside lamp on.

In his palm sat about a dozen buttons, and you explored them with your fingertips. “You’ve had these in your pocket the whole time?”

He grinned, nodding shamelessly. “A man can dream.”

He placed a soft kiss on your lips. It’s not forceful, it’s soft and sweet. You lower your gaze and suddenly feel shy. Your breath lodges in your throat when he places his fingers under your chin and tilts your face to meet his hungry eyes.

Your heart rate increases its pace upon the physical contact and it takes everything in you not to lower your gaze. He flashes you another one of his signature smiles, the one that never fails to melt your heart.

“I love seeing your pink cheeks turn darker and I love knowing it’s because of me...” He says before leaning forward again and planting a soft kiss on your overheated cheek. “Do you remember your safe word?”

You paled. “Yes. What are we doing? Will I need it?”

He tried his best not to look hurt. “Trust me, Button. I just want to take care of you. I want to give you a massage.”

“Oh.” You smiled shyly. “Ok.”

He placed the buttons on your bedside table and stood, shedding some of his layers before he told you to do the same. “Take your clothes off, angel.”

Nervous excitement rushed through you, and you hurried to obey. In truth, you needed some of this closeness after the enormity of tension that had tainted you both in the last few hours. You wanted nothing more than to surrender to his touch and remember how treasured he makes you feel.

Once you are standing naked in front of him, you move to the bed, happy to be shielded as you lay face down, settling into the comfortable pillows. The sheets were not nearly as soft and luxurious as the one’s in your bedroom at Kylo’s, but they were comforting and familiar. You let out a small sigh as you tried to fully relax.

You felt him move in the space, but still jumped when his voice was suddenly at your ear. “Good girl.”

You shivered, goosebumps pebbling along your exposed skin.

Hearing the faint sound of a lid opening, you idly thought about where Kylo had found lotion. Had he really gone to the bathroom in search of some while you were getting comfy? The thought that he was comfortable making himself at home made you smile.

The next thing you felt was a strong but gentle pressure on your shoulders.

“Jesus, Button, you’re so tense.”

_I wonder why._ You thought. His fingers worked expertly, pressing into the knotted muscles under your skin. The lotion smelled like lavender and you hummed in appreciation as he worked it into your tired body. It didn’t take long for you to completely relax under him.

“There’s my good girl...” He cooed, his hands moving to the expanse of your back. He pressed his thumbs into the spaces between your shoulders and you groaned when you heard a popping noise. Kylo Ren was ridding your body of every ounce of tension you had ever had - or at least - that’s what it felt like.

Before you knew it, you were dozing off. He worked diligently, perfectly, as he worked the gnarls out carefully. It felt impossibly good. You made a mental note that this was yet another hidden skill of Kylo’s. Something you could quickly become addicted to.

When his hands moved to your legs, you roused. A small whine as he kneaded the flesh of your thighs, his hands gliding effortlessly up and down. He was worshiping you with his touch, and you hadn’t registered your aching desire that was practically screaming for his attention.

“I want you so much.” His voice was oozing out of his lips like warm honey. “Not just your time or your body. You. All of you. Your past, your present, your future...” He switched to the other thigh, massaging it diligently. “I want your heart, your soul, your mind. I want it all.”

Your brain was swimming. There was no way this was real. There was no way he wanted _you._

You turned to look at him and before you could speak, Kylo captured your lips in a kiss. It turned heated as you rolled over, his body over yours. You seemed small beneath him and your hands tugged on his hair as you grew needy for his tongue against yours.

“Give me what I want.” He groaned against your lips, his tongue darting out to lap at your lips.

“Kylo...” You wanted him. You wanted him so badly it hurt - but you weren’t ready to give him _everything._ You had never given that to anyone.

He cursed into your mouth, his hand trailing over your abdomen and finding your core. The kiss forced its way into your very soul. It touched the darkest parts of your essence and you were drowning in it. Your mind hazy, lost in a fog of _love_ and lust. There is no doubt in your mind that he already had you in every way he wanted you - but the thought terrified you.

A gasp escapes your lips as his fingertips brush over your wetness, and he grunts as his hand forces your thighs apart. He breaks the kiss to look at you. “You want me too.”

There was no use denying it. “Yes.”

“Say it.” His fingers brushed over your clit, and your hips bucked in response. “Say you want me.”

“Kylo... please. I want you. I want you.” You were breathless, your eyes squeezed shut as you focused on the passion he was igniting with just ghost touches on your clit.

Somehow, he grew closer to you. Like he needed to eliminate every inch of space between you. It felt like he was trying to sink into you, to touch your soul and imprint himself in your existence. The way his hands ran over your body, the way his lips devour yours, as if he has no intention of every letting you go. You don’t want him to stop.

Kylo’s hand leaves your heat as he breaks the kiss. You whine in protest but he simply smirks at you before taking your hands and pinning them above your head. You want to be close to him, touching him, and your legs bravely circle his waist.

“Nuh uh...” He chastises, pushing your legs down. He bends down and kisses the corner of your lips. You know he is teasing you. You know he wants you to beg, to act like you need his kiss and touch to survive the scorching heat devouring you from the inside out.

His shirt is unbuttoned slightly and you can see the dusting of chest hair on his skin and you groan. You want to feel every bit of his skin against yours. He chuckles, the action making his chest vibrate against yours. Despite your drastic size difference, the weight of him on top of you feels comforting and safe. Like you are right where you belong.

“Beg.”

You had expected his words, but they still made you writhe under him. “Kylo...”

His hand smacked the inside of your thigh harshly, and you winced.

_“Daddy...”_ You corrected. “Please touch me.”

He wasted no time, his hand returning to stroke at your damp folds. “Don’t move your hands.”

You nodded, your fingers gripping at the ironwork frame.

When he pushes a finger in, you tense. “Wait-“

He shushes you. “Shhh... little one. I know. You are not ready for that.”

Your heart does a cartwheel.

His finger stretches you, and his thumb presses your clit, increasing the intense pleasure sweeping through your body. He pulls his finger out nearly entirely before plunging it back inside. This he can do. One finger. You both know it won’t be enough.

You pant, chasing a feeling that only he can give you. Your back rising off the bed as you pull on the headboard, trying to gain control over your senses.

“What’s wrong, angel? Does my greedy pet need more?”

You groan in response, your head nodding almost desperately. “Yes, daddy... please... more.”

Kylo laughs softly and licks a stripe up your neck, and his weight disappears from you as he settles between your thighs. _Oh._

_“_ Are you going to give me what I want, baby?”

Your mind swims. What does he want? What is he talking about? His finger delves back into you and you can’t think. All you know is that you need to reach the peak. You need him to make you feel it again. You moan in response.

“Say yes.” He coaxes again. “Be mine.”

You move your hips, desperately seeking something _more_ than what he is teasing you with. He’s keeping you right on the edge, refusing to budge even an inch. His finger hooks inside of you and you nearly convulse as the pad brushes against _that_ spot inside.

“Say it, Button. Say you’ll be mine.”

You understood now. He was prepared to draw this out as long as necessary for you to succumb to him. It was surely a formality, anyway, right? You both knew who you belonged to - with. Your mouth hangs open and you pause. There were still so many secrets, and though your heart begged you to say yes, your mind refused to say the words.

Kylo growled and pulled his finger out of you again, his eyes dark and threatening. How could he give you such intense pleasure and just rip it away as quickly as he had brought it?

You glare at him right back, your need for release making you testy and hot.

“Say yes.” His eyes softened slightly. He needed this. He needed you to say it. _Say yes._

When you hesitated, he returned to his torment. His hand dipped, and he slid his finger back in. The vulgar sound of your arousal rang in your ears as he finger fucked you right back to the verge of ecstasy.

_Just a little more._ A little more and you could be there. You would come undone around his finger. Only he wasn’t going to let you. Again, he stopped.

“Say yes.” His eyes were daring you to deny him again - and you weren’t up to the challenge. The charade was over. You couldn’t hide from him any longer. He must have sensed your resolve, because his finger hooked again. He latched his mouth over your clit as he tortured the spot inside of you and when he growled a silent order against your flesh you felt the words he sought crying from your throat.

“Yes... yes.. I’m yours...” You begged. Your hips were volatile against his face and he finally let you fall.

Heat embraces you as you ride the wave of sensation. There are stars behind your eyelids, pure bliss. You don’t want it to ever end. And it was all because of him. Kylo. He had transported you to a whole new realm of pleasure, where no one and nothing exists but the two of you.

After what seems like hours, you return to Earth. Your ragged breath causing your chest to rise and fall rapidly, exhaustion sinking into your bones. When you open your eyes, you see him. He is smiling up at you and before you can speak he is over you again. Kissing you.

You taste yourself on his lips and it makes you whine into his waiting mouth. He kissed you like he was stealing the breath from your lungs and finally broke the kiss to speak. “My Button.”

Yes. _Yours._ Your subconscious screamed. You wrapped your hands around him and hid your blushing face in his neck. You had said yes. You were _his. Whatever that means._

“Sleep.” He laid you down and covered you with blankets. You looked at him, panicked, and he offered a small smile. “I’m just taking the rest of my clothes off, baby, then I will curl around you and we will sleep. Together.”

You could have shouted in triumphant glee - but you were too tired. Things were different. He was staying, _really_ staying.

Kylo did exactly as he said, and as soon as his body tangled in yours, you fell into a dead sleep.

-

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Hi guys! I hope this makes up for the delay in updates, I will be back to updating more often as my schedule and class load allows. Thank you for reading, as always!
> 
> Be safe! xx


End file.
